“Man, I’d kill myself if I had to live the way you do”.

…thank you, for completely devaluing my life. Oh you didn’t mean it that way, I see. I’m sorry. What exactly did you mean when you told the chronically ill person you’d rather be dead than be like them? Oh, that you admire them. Right, right. That’s an odd way of phrasing it then. Isn’t it.

This is your reminder that it’s actually not a compliment to tell a sick or disabled person that you’d kill yourself if you had to live like them. It is not a nice or supportive thing to say and can actually be very dangerously triggering for someone.

If you feel compelled to say something, empathy is a good thing to try. So instead of making it about you and how you could not cope with being us, say something like “that sounds like it’d be hard, I’m sorry you’re dealing with that” or “Wow that sounds sucky, can I help in anyway?”

It’s true my life is not the same as your life, and that’s okay. But don’t go making assumptions that yours is more worth living just cause all your parts work. And I know a lot of you who say that don’t mean it unkindly, I know it’s said unthinkingly and I’m not trying to make you feel like a horrible person. But I am asking you to think.


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