Thatâs sort of the impression Iâve gotten. Like, I donât deny that I see it in a lot of ADHD people, but I also see it in a lot of others.
i do have it, but when i try to unpack it, it doesnât go back to ADHD, it goes back to emotional abuse in school. and for me itâs very centered around situations that came up back then.
like, i have no problem with romantic rejection. when iâd ask someone out and get turned down, i was just disappointed a normal amount, and could still be friends with them, and could let it go. maybe after a weekend of ice cream and playing with the dog, if i really really liked them. so basically, a healthy and reasonable response to getting turned down for a date.
whereas when i bring a problem with peers to an authority or regulatory figure â or just someone i expected to be above it â and get told itâs my own fault, whether thatâs true or not, my autonomic nervous system goes into Robot Rampage Destroy Everything Mode, and i lose the ability to think. emotional regulation is a thing of the past. it took until my 40â˛s to learn to not respond at all until the sirens stop going off. i do not expect to ever be able to respond gracefully in the moment.
not that that comes up a lot anymore, now that i donât work outside the home. not a lot of instances for a house husband/writer to get smacked down by bosses. really, most of those situations iâm sensitive to just donât come up much anymore.
tl;dr: yeah, youâre right, itâs not ADHD, itâs PTSD.
Hmmm. @star-anise, any thoughts? Seems like it could be pretty hard decoupling ADHD – or any kind of neurodivergence really – from PTSD in any case, given the kind of treatment disabled people usually go throughâŚÂ
Yeeeeah Iâve got no firm answers. PTSD stemming from childhood, and ADHD, are really hard to untangle at present and I suspect itâll only get moreso as new research comes in. Itâs all kind of vague and interconnected and the word âimplicatedâ starts to feel really useful here.
A lot of researchers are starting to point to ADHD itself as being intensely connected to poor environment and lack of parental attunement during ages 0-3 which prevents proper brain development in areas to do with reward and self-soothing (see Gabor MatĂŠâs Scattered Minds for a summary) which people think means âeveryone with ADHD was abused as a childâ and is more like âkids with biological vulnerability to ADHD need special attention during infancy and their parents need extra support.â
And then having ADHD makes you more likely to be rejected as a child because of behavioural issues, and also less resilient when it happens, because of trouble with emotional regulation and self-soothing. So even if you donât buy ADHD as a form of Developmental Trauma Disorder, ADHD in children creates an underlying predisposition for PTSD around social situations (and also academic environments).
So Dodson is seeing something real with the huge number of ADHD adults with rejection-sensitive dysphoriaâbut I would direly love to see more research on it as an independent phenomenon, and in people who donât have ADHD. (And Iâm about to dive into a bunch of literature on Avoidant Personality Disorder, so I might even find it!)
Thanks a lot! And yeah, the idea that âpoor environment = abuseâ is one I personally donât like much. I mean, abuse did play a part in why my childhood was often tough – but even if my dad had been a perfect human being, there was just so much he and mom didnât KNOW, that they couldnât have known back when, that couldâve helped them provide a better environment for me.
Regarding ADHD and rejection sensitivity:
Iâm glad that some people are finally recognizing this instead of automatically reblogging whatever Tumblr claims about the subject. Rejection sensitivity is extremely common, especially among psychiatric samples, and thereâs no evidence that itâs uniquely related to ADHD. If anything, itâs related to anxiety, attachment disturbances, and past social experiences. To be clear, the concept originated with Karen Horney, a neo-Freudian, and had nothing whatsoever to do with ADHD. Itâs also been examined by other well known attachment researchers (x).
It is true that ADHD (and executive dysfunction in general) can lead to trouble inhibiting reactions, calming oneself once upset, and switching emotional tracts. However, this doesnât necessarily mean that people with ADHD are more sensitive to rejection, merely that once they are upset, itâs harder to return to baseline, and they might be more likely to react in ways that theyâll later regret. Ruminating can also increase rejection sensitivity, but rumination is a common feature of anxiety and depression as well.
Regarding ADHD and PTSD:
It has been shown that not only do adults with ADHD have a higher rate of PTSD than controls, so do their relatives (x). One major reason for this may be that ADHD can increase childrenâs risk for experiencing trauma or other negative events due to impulsive actions, peer rejection, or neglect or maltreatment from parents who donât know how to handle the child. Another major reason may be that individuals with ADHD (and executive dysfunction in general) often have difficulty regulating their emotions and lack healthy coping mechanisms for handling stress, increasing the impact of traumatic events. Finally, ADHD is often comorbid with disorders such as depression and anxiety, and these are also associated with a higher risk of PTSDÂ (x).
That said, there are concerns that PTSD can be misdiagnosed as ADHD because of overlap in symptoms (e.g., dissociation can be confused for inattentiveness or hypervigilance for hyperactivity, and both ADHD and PTSD can involve increased emotional reactivity; x). As well, I want to make sure that itâs clear that ADHD is primarily not comorbid with PTSD. Lifetime prevalence of PTSD for individuals with ADHD is still âonlyâ in the range of 10% (x) to 26% (x). Thatâs high, but it still means that the majority of individuals with ADHD will never meet the clinical criteria for PTSD.
Growing up my parents taught me that if youâre too sick to [insert responsibility here] then youâre too sick to [insert something that makes you happy here].
It took me a really long time to unlearn this. When I would get sick or have a âbad dayâ I would deprive myself of anything that made me happy. Watching movies, eating something I enjoyed, going for a walk, playing video games or just browsing online looking at funny cat videos. I wouldnât let myself do these things because I was always told that if Iâm too sick to go to work, or do homework, or go to school then I must be too sick to play Mortal Kombat or watch Unsolved Mysteries lol.
Whenever I wouldnât feel good, which I later learned as an adult was due to sleep deprivation caused by my ADHD and depression (and of course the depression itself would cause me to feel like shit), my parents would tell me âif youâre not throwing up, then youâre not sick.â And when I would stay home from school (or even work in my later teen years) my parents would make sure that I didnât have any âfun.â No TV, no movies, no games, no going outside, no arts and crafts, no books, no nothing. Just lay in bed and feel miserable.
Iâm happy to say that I no longer do this to myself. Now when Iâm having a bad day or Iâm sick (cold, flu or whatever) I allow myself to do the things (within reason lol) that I actually love doing. If Iâm not too sick to step outside for a few minutes then Iâll go for a walk. Iâll watch my favorite movies and if itâs a bad day or a cold (something that doesnât hinder my appetite too much) Iâll eat my favorite foods. I donât guilt trip myself anymore for having a âsick day.â
Just because youâre sick (whether physically, emotionally or mentally) doesnât mean that you canât do things you enjoy. Youâre not any less sick because you watch TV. Youâre not any less sick because youâre playing video games.Â
Actually you SHOULD be doing these things when youâre not feeling good because they make you feel better. The better you feel, the faster your heal.Â
Meet Honey Bee, a blind cat from Fiji with a beautiful spirit and a
wonderful message of hope. Once upon a time Honey Bee lived at an animal
shelter called Animals Fiji, but today she happily lives with her 2
loving humans and 4 other cats all the way in Seattle. After
first adopting a blind cat, her owners likely didnât know what to
expect, but turns out Honey Bee is just like any other cat with eyes.
Actually, Honey Bee is arguably WAY more incredible.
First and
foremost, unlike most scaredy cats this brave cat LOVES to go hiking. On
BoredPanda.com her owners write, âWhen we go hiking, we take her on our
shoulders or with a leash. People say they love dogs because you can
take them hiking, but Honey Bee loves hiking, too!â
The Associated Press correspondent at the border just reported that weâve started tear-gassing toddlers:Â
The context is that asylum-seekers have been trapped in overstretched shelters in Mexico by a series of policy changes by the Trump administration and agreements between the Trump administration and the Mexican government, and today a group of refugees marched to the U.S. border to request dialogue + petition to be allowed to make the asylum claim that under standard interpretations of international law they are entirely entitled to make. The U.S. closed the border crossing. One woman with a tear-gassed three-year-old told reporters that the U.S. launched tear gas at the crowd when some refugees started trying to squeeze through the fence. No one crossed into the U.S. Thanks to the strong winds, migrants who werenât near the fence were still choked by it.Â
It would be legal and manageable under U.S. law to admit every one of these families, give their case for asylum a hearing in a court of law, and allow private charities and churches to provide for their safety and settlement in the U.S. pending those cases. The administration decided to make this their hill to die on instead, and has pushed for the use of lethal force.Â
Thereâs a really dangerous and scary phenomenon where someone becomes convinced that any shred of humanity or decency they show will be a foot in the door, and that their only option is to keep buckling down, and to take all failures to get what they want as evidence they werenât forceful enough. Itâs the spiral of escalation that leads to choking toddlers with gas grenades and feeling like youâre in the right because if you granted these people a hearing some of them would stay in the country and thatâd encourage more of them and thereâs no way at all to reach any kind of equilibrium except vicious violence at the outset, made more vicious every time the current level of force fails to get everything you want from every single person out there. Iâm scared that the forces at the border will keep escalating.
I donât really know a good way to have institutional checks that go âour objective here is not that we win and they lose, no matter what; our objectives also include not being drawn into tear-gassing toddlers.âÂ
Donât tear gas toddlers. Itâs not complicated.
Look, the entire thing Iâm trying to communicate here is that if youâre willing to do serious harm to everyone within several hundred yards whenever anyone fails to comply with your rules, then you are guaranteed to end up constantly doing serious harm to tons of innocent people. Guaranteed. You can come up with a story about how itâs not your fault, itâs the fault of whoever stepped out of line, but you are the person who adopted a policy under which it was guaranteed that youâd do this, because âweâll do serious harm to everyone in the vicinity whenever anyone disobeys usâ will, every single time, lead to tear-gassing toddlers.Â
You will never successfully get a large mass of desperate people with no clear avenue to saving their lives to one hundred percent, uniformly, obey your rules. Therefore, any mercy that youâre only willing to offer under those conditions is meaningless, and you get no credit for it, and you are just a cruel tyrannical clusterfuck tear-gassing toddlers and telling yourself itâs okay since youâd hypothetically be merciful under conditions that could never possibly obtain in the real world.
Also, how the fuck could the toddlers have avoided this, exactly? Been born somewhere else?Â
âWe only have two optionsâ is precisely the sort of false rationalizations of continuing to double down far past the point where that advances your goals that Iâve been talking about in the last several posts. No, we donât only have two options. Thatâs why in the first post I mentioned that we could have allowed people to apply for asylum, considered their cases individually, and granted the asylum cases that were legitimate. That is obviously not âhaving a totally open borderâ. If you hate that option, we could also have arrested the handful of people trying to scale the fence, with the five thousand troops weâve chosen to station at the border, instead of tear gassing the whole area.Â
Anyone who says âour only options are a totally open border or infinite willingness to escalate whoever is in the wayâ is lying to justify atrocities, or else has not spent three minutes thinking about ways to protect a heavily guarded, fenced border against unarmed civilians without tear gassing children.
Also, âattacking armyâ is a flat out lie. The immigrants are regular people, unarmed, walking up to the border and not trying to hurt anyone.
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