sensicalabsurdities:

vstheworld:

dinovia-countryman:

manic-kin:

aimmyarrowshigh:

loveyoutothem00n:

standard-fiend:

anxietee-n:

diamondelight92:

cractasticdispatches:

meelothemanly:

eyeslikeacat:

roonilwazlip:

letthemountainsmoveyou:

liamdunburs:

kids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said “i like that name. did you know i’m in love with you”

i asked my four year old cousin how old he thought i was going to be at my next birthday and he said 8. im 23

once i told a 6 year old that i had finished school and was doing “more school” [university] and she asked “why haven’t you found anyone to marry then”

We were at a museum and I was asking for the student discount and my nine year old cousin looks up at me with his eyes wide and says “wait you’re a STUDENT??”

I used to babysit these three kids and the eldest who was around 11 at the time was talking about how adults are boring and when I told him I was an adult he said, “That’s not true, you’re my age”

our aunt teaches and she has this story about a little girl who really was always pretty quiet in class and then on the final day of kindergarten she just up and stated ‘i’m all teached now. i don’t need to be teached anymore. i’m done of being teached.’

once when i was 19, I told my little cousin that i was 19 and she looked up at me with huge eyes and went, “Does that mean you don’t have to bring an adult with you to the pool?”

My 6 year old cousin saw me driving for the first time, looked up at him mom and said “does that mean she is married now?”

I watched my dad and my niece (3 at the time) arguing over a pair of pants and whether or not they were also a dress. My neice’s argument was that they were, in fact, also a dress because they were blue.

I asked the kids in my daycare class what they thought I should be for Halloween and this little boy goes, “ooh I know! A pickle! You’d be such a good pickle”

On the first day of class with my favorite student of all time, I said, “Are you okay? You look like you have a question.” And she looked me right in the eyes and said, tremulously,

“Can a piranha eat a stapler?”

One time I was working with a kid and he looked up at me and asked “Do you have a boy?” I had no idea what he was talking about, but I told him that I did not have any boys. He looked shocked and then deeply concerned and said “Well, you better hurry up and shave your arms so you can get married; August is next month!”

I was sitting on the floor with my 3yo niece and we were playing with her younger brother’s alphabet blocks and the O had an octopus on it.  So I picked it up and asked her what it was.

“Octopus,” she said, all curls and smiles.

“And what kind of animal is an octopus?” I asked.  I was looking for “fish” or “sea creature” but I would have accepted almost anything–”weird,” “gross,” even “slimy.”  “Underwater” or “it lives in the ocean” would have also been acceptable. 

She looks me right in the eye and says, happy as a clam, “It’s a cephalopod.”

I haven’t been the same since.

last week a child of maybe four at the genius bar saw me running a product by, planted his hands on his hips and yelled at his mother, accusingly, “you never told me hair could be GREEN!”

the thing that’s so great about kids is that they’re very good at making connections and recognizing patterns, but they’re working off of extremely limited data sets.

For example, when I was a toddler, I assumed that every marriage had a) one mom and one dad, and b) at least one Jewish person in it. I also thought that every kid was either Jewish or Christian, and which one you were depended on whether the omnipresent Jewish parent was your mother or father (because Judaism is matrilineal).

I only knew Jewish or half-Jewish/half-Christian m/f couples. It sounds ridiculous now, but it was an entirely reasonable assumption at the time.