neurowonderful:

What is filicide?

In the past five years, over fifty [70+ as of 01/03/16] people with disabilities have been murdered by
their parents, relatives or caregivers in the United States alone.

These acts are horrific enough on their own. But they exist in the context of a larger pattern:

1. A parent kills their disabled child.
2. The media portrays these murders as justifiable and inevitable due to the “burden” of having a
   disabled person in the family.

3. If the parent stands trial, they are given sympathy and comparatively lighter sentences, if they
   are sentenced at all.

4. The victim is disregarded, blamed for their own murder at the hands of the person they should
   have been able to trust the most, and ultimately forgotten.

5. The media sends a message that if you kill your disabled child, you will receive attention
   and sympathy. The justice system sends a message that if you kill your disabled child, your
   punishment will likely be minimal.

6. Parents of kids with disabilities see these messages.
7. A parent kills their disabled child.

What does the term “filicide” mean?

“Filicide” is the legal term for a parent murdering their child. In the disability community, “filicide” is
used when talking about a parent or other relative murdering a child or adult relative with a disability.
This toolkit is specifically about filicide in the disability community. When we say “filicide,” we are
talking about a pattern of violence that starts when a parent or caregiver murders their child or adult relative with a disability and continues in how these murders are reported, discussed, justified,
excused, and replicated.

How common is it?

We don’t know. Filicide in general is very difficult to track, and filicide in the disability community is
notoriously underreported. We are aware of over 50 filicides in the United States from the last 5 years
where the victim was disabled. We know that the numbers we know of are much smaller than the
reality.

Why are we only talking about filicide against people with disabilities?

Typically, when a child without a disability is murdered by their parents, everyone stands united in
condemnation. No one attempts to understand, justify, or explain the murder. No one expresses
sympathy for the murderer. No one argues that every parent has had moments or thoughts like that.
No one understands. No one suggests that if the child had been easier or the family had had more
support, this could have been avoided. The crime is punished harshly, and the victim is remembered
and mourned.

When someone with a disability is murdered by their parents, the opposite happens.

Why does it happen?

Because we live in a world where disabled lives are valued less than the lives of people without
disabilities.

Because we live in a world where people think it is better to be dead than to be disabled.

Because we live in a world where killing your disabled child is excused, minimized, and normalized.

Because we live in a world where this is okay.

Frequently Asked Questions About Filicide

• Isn’t this caused by lack of services?

It’s absolutely true that people with disabilities and our families don’t get enough services. But that’s
not what causes these murders.

There are thousands of families across the country with insufficient or nonexistent services who
refrain from murdering their disabled family members. In addition, most high-profile cases have
occurred in upper-middle-class communities and have been committed by parents who either refused
services, or had more family services than is typical. This is not about services. Suggesting that
murders could be prevented with more funding holds people with disabilities hostage: give us what we
want, or the kid gets it!

When disgruntled employees take guns into their workplaces and murder their colleagues, we don’t
use that as a launching point for a conversation about how Americans need better employee benefits
or more paid leave. When students shoot people in their schools, we don’t use this as a launching
point for a conversation about anti-bullying policies. This doesn’t mean that we don’t care about
worker’s rights or student safety; it means that these are separate conversations, and combining
them makes excuses for murderers. We feel that drawing a line between filicide and lack of services is
equally inappropriate.

• Is it a hate crime?

Yes and no. A hate crime is a crime that is motivated by bias; disability hate crimes are defined as
crimes that are committed because of a bias or prejudice against disability. Filicide in the disability
community is almost always about the person’s disability, so in that sense, yes, this is a hate crime.

Legally, disability-related hate crime can only be persecuted on the federal level if it is inter-state, and
individual states vary in their state-based hate crimes laws. Check your state to see if filicide related
to disability can be considered a hate crime under state law; if not, consider lobbying your state
legislature to include disability in your state’s hate crimes statute, or to adopt one if your state does
not have one.

• Why is it bad to try to understand why someone might do this?

Filicide is a horrifying act, and wondering how someone could do this is a natural response. But when
we progress to saying “I understand why someone would do this,” or “but you have to understand,”
we are not just saying that we have thought about what motivated the killer – we are saying that the
killer’s actions make sense to us.

Our society’s reactions to filicide reflect our beliefs about disability. When parents of kids without dis-
abilities murder their children, we are universally united in condemnation. It is only when the victim
is disabled that we pause. It is only when the victim is disabled that we are encouraged to understand.

This is a double standard, and it reveals dangerous things about our beliefs.

When we say every parent of a disabled child has had moments like this or walk a mile in our shoes or the
system failed everyone or but you have to understand how hard it is, we are excusing a parent murdering
their child. It does not matter how many times we say not that I would ever condone this: if we attempt
to make a parent murdering their child understandable, if we ever attempt to position it as a
comprehensible or inevitable or normal thing, if we take and normalize the perspective and the side of
abusers and murderers, we are minimizing and excusing this act. Doing so puts the lives of disabled
people everywhere in danger.

There are absolutely things we should understand about filicide. There are absolutely people with
whom we should empathize. We should understand that filicide is not committed by loving parents.
We should empathize with the victims. But to say, “I don’t condone the murder but I understand it,” is
to say, “This is bad, but it isn’t so bad if we put it in context.”

We do not believe that this is a good way to talk about murder.

• But anyone who would kill their child, or try to kill their child, must have
  a mental illness. Doesn’t that change how we should think about this?

Filicide is not a symptom of mental illness. Filicide indicates a decision to murder. These decisions are
deliberate and often premeditated for days or weeks. The perpetrators of filicides are often evaluated
and found competent to stand trial.

Saying that only mentally ill people would commit a murder can make some people feel better, but it’s
not true. People with mental illness are no more violent that the general population – but, like people
with developmental disabilities, they are often the targets of violent crimes. When we’re talking about
cases where people with disabilities are murdered by parents, invoking mental illness is just a way of
blaming one group of people with disabilities for the murders of other people with disabilities, and
shifting the blame away from the person who is actually responsible – the murderer.

How do we talk about this?

Names: to discourage copycats, don’t use the full name of the murderer. Do use the name of the
victim.

Sympathy: as with any other murder, do humanize the victim. Do unequivocally condemn the
murder. Do mourn the victim. Don’t sympathize with the murderer.

Be mindful of anti-disability bias: don’t imply that it is better to be dead than disabled, that
disabled people experience a lower quality of life, or that we cause other people to suffer. Do use
respectful language, and do consult with people with disabilities.

Focus: don’t give the murderer a platform. Do center the victim.
Don’t refer to filicide as mercy-killing.

Don’t talk about services in the context of filicide.

Do be mindful of the potential for copycat murders:

• avoid using the killer’s name or giving them a platform
• focus on the victim, and
• avoid grisly sensationalism.

Do write about filicide against a disabled victim the same way you write about any other filicide.

How Can We Prevent This?

1. Change the conversation

Center the victim. Condemn the murderer. Refuse to “understand,” excuse, justify, minimize, or
normalize a parent killing their child. Refuse to accept this. Refuse to allow this to become our new
normal.

2. Prosecute

Call for these crimes to be prosecuted to the fullest extend of the law, similarly to other filicides.
Demand that people with disabilities have equal protection under the law. Consider lobbying your
state legislature to include disability in your state’s hate crimes statute, or to adopt one if your state
does not have one.

3. End ableism

Challenge ableism (anti-disability bias and prejudice) everywhere you see it. Challenge the idea that
it is better to be dead than disabled, that disabled people are a drain on society, that disability means
suffering, and that disabled lives are not worth living. Promote inclusion, community integration,
and acceptance.

4. Self-report

If you think you are going to harm your child or adult relative, turn yourself in. Call 911 or child
protective services and say “I am thinking about killing my child.”

5. Community reporting

If someone you know is talking about killing their child, turn them in. Often in the wake of a filicide
people come forward to say that days or months before the murder, the perpetrator made a comment
to them suggesting that they were contemplating homicide: “I’m despairing about my child’s
condition – I think this is the end for him,” or “kids like mine should be put down,” or even “I am
thinking about killing my child.” In addition, report any indications you might see of child abuse or
child neglect. Abuse and neglect of children and adults with disabilities is very common and extremely
under-reported, and many filicides are preventable escalations.

What do I do if this happens in my community?

1. Get the language right

Change the conversation: challenge poisonous ideas and help prevent copycat crimes. Read “How do
we talk about this?” for more.

2. Hold a vigil

Mourn the victim and call for justice. See our vigil guidebook at the end of this toolkit for more.

3. Watch the media

Encourage journalists to speak to disabled people, follow best practices for preventing copycat crimes,
center the victim, and treat this filicide like all other filicides. Refer them to this toolkit. Push back
when they make mistakes.

4. Push back

If someone attempts to justify, minimize, or normalize the murder, challenge them. Don’t let them
interpret your silence as agreement.

5. Sentencing

Call for the harshest possible sentence under the law. Emphasize that people with disabilities have a
right to expect full and equal protection under the law.

6. Call for hate crimes legislation

As appropriate, advocate for expanding state and federal hate crimes legislation to include disability
and filicide against disabled victims.

7. Hold the justice system accountable

Contact your local protection and advocacy agency, your local FBI field office, and your district
attorney. Let them know that the disability community is watching. Let them know that we are
outraged. Tell them to do their jobs.

 – ASAN’s Anti-Filicide Toolkit