how about this: when i was 9 and my stepdad beat me until i passed out and i told my friends at school, my teacher over heard and i was interviewed by cps. they also went to my house when i was at school. when i got home, my step father was waiting on the couch, and told me who visited him that day. he told me if i ever snitched again he would beat me to within an inch of my life.
how about this: my mother locked me out of the house when i was 14 and when i cried so loud the neighbors called the cops, the cop told me i should have been respectful of my mother who was trying to sleep.
how about this. the demon you know is less scary than the demon you don’t.
children in abused households are raised to fear the idea of being taken away. children in abusive households see that help makes things worse.
dont you ever blame an abuse victim for not going to the authorities.
yes this okay to reblog!
The people that are supposed to help are often as bad as the ones who hurt you
Like most people don’t like to admit this, but one of the reasons a lot of us have so many mental health issues is because we live in a world that has basically become untenable. People can’t afford basic necessities, let alone to cultivate their interests or take breaks and rest or do any of the things necessary for good mental health. People my age are wracked with debt, working at jobs they hate or studying topics they hate, living in a shitty apartment with five roommates. We live in a world that’s very hard to be healthy in. So while yeah, a lot of people obviously do have mental illnesses that would need medication no matter what, they are greatly exacerbated by these issues, and a lot of people have basically just been thrust into an eternal situational depression. So if that doesn’t change, medication is just a band-aid.
And for people suffering, it’s okay to acknowledge your illness is a direct result of being in a terrible situation. It neither invalidates your illness or people who have that illness genetically.
Same goes for more personal-level harmful life situations. If you’re stuck in a destabilizing environment, medications may or may not even help while you’re still living under bad conditions.
None of that is your fault. No matter how invested some people may be in blaming things on you, to avoid looking at/addressing bigger problems in the situation.
And none of this is zero-sum. That type of thinking only harms people more.
I feel like getting people to recognize this as a default would make a huge difference in how bad it is too. Like it is another whole level of miserable frustration that you can be endlessly asking for help while simultaiously being shamed for NOT GETTING HELP or that help not working, because you are for all intensive purposes just stopping the bleeding on a wound that involves broken bones.
Sometimes just hearing yes, this is bullshit you did nothing to deserve is way more helpful then encoragement. Especially since there is a minimum amount of outrage needed for things to change and the fact there isn’t that much over the fact the majority of the population are mathamatically fucked as far as their odds for making it through things.
Like most people don’t like to admit this, but one of the reasons a lot of us have so many mental health issues is because we live in a world that has basically become untenable. People can’t afford basic necessities, let alone to cultivate their interests or take breaks and rest or do any of the things necessary for good mental health. People my age are wracked with debt, working at jobs they hate or studying topics they hate, living in a shitty apartment with five roommates. We live in a world that’s very hard to be healthy in. So while yeah, a lot of people obviously do have mental illnesses that would need medication no matter what, they are greatly exacerbated by these issues, and a lot of people have basically just been thrust into an eternal situational depression. So if that doesn’t change, medication is just a band-aid.
And for people suffering, it’s okay to acknowledge your illness is a direct result of being in a terrible situation. It neither invalidates your illness or people who have that illness genetically.
Same goes for more personal-level harmful life situations. If you’re stuck in a destabilizing environment, medications may or may not even help while you’re still living under bad conditions.
None of that is your fault. No matter how invested some people may be in blaming things on you, to avoid looking at/addressing bigger problems in the situation.
And none of this is zero-sum. That type of thinking only harms people more.
I used to think i didn’t have any triggers. I’m an abuse survivor and i really thought maybe i came out of it just fine with no triggers.
Then a man slammed his hands on the desk beside me in frustration, he wasn’t angry at me he had just messed up something he was doing.
I froze, like literally froze, then tears started streaming and i was shaking.
I was so fucking upset and distraught, all i could manage to get out was “I didn’t like that.”
My body had a really surprising reaction and i guess i’m not as over my abuse as i’d like to think sometimes. I’m making this post to tell others things like this, triggers, they can pop up at any time.
Try to be patient, and understanding when someone has a reaction that you might not understand.
If you’re the person who was triggered, be patient with yourself.
Don’t be like me and blame yourself for overreacting.
Now i realize what it was that happened to me, and i’ll try to be better with myself in the future, and not blame myself immediately after.
It’s also possible to not even understand this are triggers. I used to think I just had “sudden mood swings” without realising the common thread because I was so deep into denying myself as a victim I couldn’t even recognise my own trauma.
They can appear long after trauma, they can be hard to recognise and it isn’t your fault.
when are we gonna stop using the word “abusive” as a synonym for “just being an asshole”
hate 2 break this 2 yall but the world isnt split up into nice people and abusers. being cruel or manipulative in the absence of an observable pattern of behavior and an established power dynamic isnt abuse. sometimes people are just shitty
This is true – but also, a lot of abusers use this kind of discourse to defend actual abuse (”I know I groped her without her consent and called her a whore and told her she was worthless without me, but those were isolated incidents! We can get past those!”), and as such, I am rather wary of contextless posts decrying a culture where people are supposedly being accused of abuse when they are not, in fact, abusive. In the world we actually live in, it is far more common for people who come forward with stories of abuse being slandered as oversensitive and judgmental. We certainly don’t live in a world where people treat accusations of abuse too seriously or with too much faith.
This. I’m getting really sick of seeing the original post being circulated because, sure, sometimes people are just shitty, but one of the factors that abuse victims/survivors have a problem with is whether or not the abuse happened or whether or not it was *really* abuse, and believe me, in the beginning, stuff like this was horribly invalidating. You really, *really* need context to separate abuse v. shitty people and I don’t see that in the original post.
Coming at this from a slightly different angle, there is no special monstrous category of Abusers™ who can be readily distinguished from Just Plain Assholes at a glance.
There’s a continuum of treating other people disrespectfully, with degrees of power to do serious damage with that shitty behavior. None of it is right. None of it is inevitable. It all hurts people.
And just because an asshole isn’t in a position of power to establish abusive patterns of behavior over one person? That doesn’t mean they’re not doing so wherever they can get away with it. We already know they’re treating people like shit; that’s not even in question.
I am very suspicious of efforts to draw sharp divisions there, including for some of the reasons already brought up.
It is also very similar to some of the very unhelpful framing around sexually predatory behavior which has been getting more attention again lately, with Real Rapists™ as this category somehow separate from “just” people engaging in terrible behavior.
Doesn’t help anyone who is not treating other people that way, and it gives them cover.
okay but lets talk abt how easy it is to abuse psychotic people, esp if youre nonpsychotic. ppl know that clustered ppl are easier to abuse but no one mentions those on the psychosis-spec when honestly, its a big deal.
it is so easy to gaslight us, because our perceptions of reality are already warped anyway. so when someone makes us doubt, we will believe them (even with actual proof of the opposite sometimes), because we cannot trust ourselves.
when we trust you, its so easy to make us dependent on you? its so easy to tell us youll keep us safe, and that the bad things youre doing are to help us.
you can so easily feed into our delusions, either by making us distrust everyone else (esp if were paranoid) or to make us trust you more, or just to get a good old laugh.
making us believe were hallucinating when were not, purposefully twisting our words when were disorganised, making us depend on you for a check on reality, telling us you know whats best for us bc our psychosis will make us cope in “bad” ways, ignoring what we tell you, blaming our reactions on our psychosis, making us seem irrational, threatening to hospitalise us because people will definitely believe you when you say were dangerous, there is so much more which nonpsychotic people do that no one talks about.
but most importantly:
you can excuse your abuse, make others believe youre in the right, because we wouldnt know whats best for us, right? no one would believe us when they know were psychotic, and thats so easy to take advantage of.
people really have to look out more for psychotic people that are being abused, and trust their words over their abuser’s
(please spread the word also if youre nonpsychotic)
The entire original concept of the movie Gaslight was that the abuser manipulated the environment to make his victim believe that she was experiencing psychotic symptoms- hallucinations, paranoia, memory lapses, etc- so that it would become easy to take advantage of her. The whole point is that psychotic people are so easy to take advantage of that going to great lengths to convince a neurotypical woman that she’s psychotic is worth the effort, because once he succeeded, it would become almost impossible for her to escape the situation.
People act like the worst thing about being gaslit is that you’re made to believe you might be ~crazy~ which is a horrible fate to even contemplate. But what’s really so horrifying about it is the incredibly massive power imbalance it creates, a power imbalance that’s already there if you are already psychotic.
Please don’t underestimate how vulnerable psychotic people are.
The thing I remember most, looking back on my abusive relationships, is that whenever I was angry about the way I was being treated and tried to confront my abuser it was never a fight about what I was angry about. He always made it a fight about me being angry. He always made it seem like my anger was the problem, not my abuse.
Abusers will make you believe that the abuse isn’t the problem, that your ‘irrational’ anger is the problem.
This is a major red flag in relationships to always look for, and I recommend writing down every incident where your partner, friend, or family member, or anyone, gets angry/annoyed at you for having emotions. It is abusive, and manipulative. Maybe once in a while it’s human – emotions are tricky – but do keep a log.
Because usually, by the end of the argument you’ll be too scrambled to think anything but “it was my fault” and you won’t get why. You’ll just be exhausted.
If people are like this to you, get the hell away. They try to paint you as irrational and overemotional and they know it.
Hi! My name is Erica “Bro” y Media or Doddle and I know have another post going around with my commissions but I am reposting since it is slowing down and i’m redo my pricing and just everything about it in general. I am also opening up my nude commissions too. Some back story about this, I am trying to move out of a abusive home life and I am trying to stay out of FSSW too because it been demetimed to my mental health and I get sick often – partly due to the stress of being the peacekeeper, my school and medical debt and my house is not the best living contiondtion. I am a really disabled mentally, physically and neuoguailly mix race latin and southeast native american and it is really hard for me to keep and hold down regular jobs along with the fact a lot of people will not hire me due to reasons listed before and where I live at not many people want to hire from due to the reapation it has, along with the fact several of my past abusers and school bullies who assaulted me work or visit these places too. Also it been really hard to save money because I have to buy my own goeriecies/food, help my parents out or get my money stolen, and I have to keep up with my own bills since my parents are also struggling and I am the only one out of my siblings who actually working some at the moment. I Have a lot of debt from quitting school and I owe the school over a thousand (1,000+) for quitting and them starting the legal process to get their money back – even though I do not have any money. I also owe the hospital over two-thousand dollars (2,000+) due to finally getting my asthma deconized and I was in and out of the hospital with bronchitis and monochitas from may till just last month and I am getting sick again. My paypal is paypal.me/ericamedia and my wishlist links is here (x) These are my commissions at the moment, I might some more later!
Astrology – These tend to take a while to complete. I been studying astrology since i was young and started taking it completely serious within the last couple of years and I am extremely knowledgeable about many subjects about the stars and it been my special interstants on and off all of my life really. I take this very serious and I study and stay a student every change I can
Full Natal Charts – Forty plus dollars ($40+) These are very limited and they take me a WHILE to completely. They are extremely detailed and I try to go over everything I can with these.
General Full Natal Charts – Twenty-five dollars ($25) These are not as limited as the FULL full natal charts as they are not AS detailed as them. They are general descriptions of everything I see in your natal chart.
“First Glances” – Fifthteen dollars ($15) This one is for three (3) to five (5) aspects, signs, houses, or planets you can pick them out or you can let me pick out the ones I see espilley for uniqueness if you want. These are detailed and do not take me as long to completely, if you want to know about more than five (5) aspects but do not want a full natal chart you can add on more aspects for two-fifty an aspect ($2.50)
Mupitable Tranists – Twenty to Twenty-Five Dollars ($20-25) I do six (6) max for these as I said astrology is my passion but it takes a while to complete, but with the transits I have to completely fast, these are limited too.
Some Transitions – Ten dollars ($10) I do three (3) max for these and the above goes with this one. Not as limited as the Mupitabled.
Compatibility – Twenty-five dollars ($25) These are not as detailed as my others, I love to do compatibility but at the same time I can not fully encouraged theses because a lot of newbies and people not as serious into astrology take them a bit too serious so I leave these more general. These can be good for parents-children, siblings, romantic and planctioc pattereans, even celebrities because let’s admit it, it’s fun to see!
Tarot Readings – I admit I am still a newbie to Tarots but I put my all in it. I love doing tarot readings but they can be draining, I offer my tarots as cheap as I can!
One (1) Card Readings – A dollar fifty ($1.50)
Three (3) Card Readings – ten dollars ($1-)
Six (6) Card Readings – fifthteen dollars ($15)
Art Commissions – I do not have a lot of my recent work and I admit I am a bit slower with my art commissions than I like to be so I only offer clean linework and simple colorings. I am good with fashion models, simple simple simple scenes, some potatoes
Full Body Clean Sketches – Five ($5)
Full Body Simple Colored – Ten ($10)
Poritions, Simple – fifthteen ($15)
Specialized Readings – Vary, direct message me and we can talk and figure it out!
Nudes – I am going to admit, I hate these and I charge extra due to this being my main. I also do not do custom clips or videos, only role-playing and pictures because I do not have the wifi or ability to do anything else. I expect the full amount of money to be taken in account with these.
Role-Playings- I often go over with these – Fifthteen minutes (15) -thirty (3$30) dollars
Twenty minutes (20) – forty ($40) dollars
Thirty minutes (30) – sixty ($60) dollars
Custom pictures – I do not have many props or outfits. I charge the minual of six ($6) a piece
As many of y’all know, I live in an extremely abusive household with controlling, manipulative, and cruel parents. My mother is particular is prone to violence, and the constant fear is wearing on my mental health.
Is there anyone in Houston around the Bellaire area that’s willing to let me come hang out / stay nights just to get away for a bit? It’s not urgent right now but I’d like to have people to turn to if things go wrong again. I’m 19 and I don’t drink nor do drugs, and I can drive myself. Feel free to message me. I may make a more elaborate post later.
Hi everyone, please take the time to read and share Bianca’s story. Her abusive boyfriend stole all of her money and documents (including her birth certificate, passport, etc, which he burned) in an attempt to trap her in Nicaragua with him. We were able to get her out of the country with a lot of difficulty but she still has lost almost everything. She is only asking for $700 and has made only $30 of it. I know many people are skeptical of gofundme now but she really does need help and I can personally vouch for the truthfulness of the story. Even $5 will help, and if you can’t donate, please share! Thank you.
Looks like she’s back but still needs money for replacement documents
This is correct. She also lost many of her personal items like shoes, clothes, etc. Please keep reblogging!
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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