hey kids if ur parents are abusive, dont be surprised if they suddenly change all their behaviors when u finally move out, if they start acting very nice and never even allude to all those times Before when they were treating u bad. this is a form of gaslighting and if u plan to keep distant from them as an adult, this may well be the defining characteristics of ur interaction w/ them. it’s tough to navigate this, because u will almost definitely wonder: was i abused? listen… when u sit in ur own home someday, maybe w/ a loved one, and things feel good, and the past feels far away, ur abuse was not made up. ur parents really did those things, and whether or not u want to keep them out of ur life or form a new dynamic w/ them, that’s up to u. but never let them make u believe they were always good to u.
As a man who frequently worries about the apparent ease with which I could stumble into accidentally hurting women, it is a great relief to consider the possibility that the people who profess to blunder into sexual harassment may be fucking liars. Maybe my lifetime track record of zero hilarious molestation mishaps isn’t a lucky coincidence. Maybe I can have an unlimited number of cordial conversations with women without tripping over my tongue into an outrage.
The patriarchy hurts everyone, indeed…
i think my female followers might be surprised that a story like this fills men with relief, but yeah, it is good to know that these ‘accidental’ villains are playing dumb as part of their scheming bullshit.
i mean, there’s times when you get surprise privelege-checked upside the face and it hurts like hell, i’m not denying we can be sexist by accident and cry when we get called on it, nobody likes a sudden guilt+scolding combo and not everyone will be a grownup about it. but that gets conflated with these stories of sexual misconduct, and it’s terrifying.
so it’s actually really comforting to understand that sex criminals promote that conflation on purpose to protect themselves. it’s not something we have to buy into.
you won’t sexually assault someone by accident. these assholes know they got told no, and consciously chose to ignore it.
yeah it’s like the ‘helpless creep’ who ‘doesn’t know any better’. truly awkward men are awkward to other men too! they misread cues and get into conflicts with *all* their peers. but predators use the *appearance* of haplessness to ignore women’s social signals and tresspass all over their boundaries, then play the victim when women get mad, and other men give them a pass cuz the predator hasn’t bothered *them*.
“There’s a reason for this plague of know-nothings: The bumbler’s perpetual amazement exonerates him. Incompetence is less damaging than malice. And men — particularly powerful men — use that loophole like corporations use off-shore accounts. The bumbler takes one of our culture’s most muscular myths — that men are clueless — and weaponizes it into an alibi.”
Second, the sometimes-floated notion that acquaintance rape is simply a mistake about consent, is wrong. (See Amanda Hess’s excellent takedown here.) The vast majority of the offenses are being committed by a relatively small group of men, somewhere between 4% and 8% of the population, who do it again … and again … and again. That just doesn’t square with the notion of innocent mistake. Further, since the repeaters are also responsible for a hugely disproportionate share of the intimate partner violence, child beating and child sexual abuse, the notion that these predators are somehow confused good guys does not square with the data. Most of the raping is done by guys who like to rape, and to abuse, assault and violate. If we could get the one-in-twelve or one-in-25 repeat rapists out of the population (that is a lot of men — perhaps six or twelve million men in the U.S. alone) or find a way to stop them from hurting others, most sexual assault, and a lot of intimate partner violence and child abuse, would go away. Really.
The same seems to apply to just about any type of creepy predatory behavior. It’s all a matter of degrees, and as they say abusive behaviors do tend to run together.
The major problem is coming from a relatively small percentage of hardcore repeat predators who are aware their attentions are unwanted and just don’t care about the harm they’re doing–not bumblers accidentally violating boundaries.
As Cliff Pervocracy put it in an older post (We are the 95%):
The one big lie at the center of all these little lies is: “If you were in my place, you could have done the same.”…
So when you hear all the totally plausible ways it could have been you, realize: nope, probably couldn’t have been. Most people don’t struggle not to commit rape… just as the vast majority of people don’t have trouble restraining themselves from torture or murder…
This is part of why I talk about consent so much. It’s not just to keep well-intentioned guys from accidentally raping. Most well-intentioned guys don’t really have that problem. It’s to help well-intentioned guys (and girls, and everyone else) see how vast the gulf is between them and rapists.
If affirmative, negotiated, freely given consent is the norm, then rapists lose the ability to say “I just didn’t know.” They can no longer make anyone think “but regular sex looks practically the same.” If romance doesn’t work a damn thing like rape, rapists can’t hide behind “I was trying to be romantic.”
Again, the same applies to harassment. And it keeps coming up whenever a known serial harasser’s patterns of behavior gets public attention. This endless focus on the potential for bumbling and legitimate misunderstandings just offers the hardcore predators plausible deniability. The rest of us don’t have to go along with that and help preserve that cover.
I am making this plea anonymously because my online identity
is tied to my real life in significant ways.
I am a black lesbian who has lived in fear of her violently
abusive and homophobic father for over two decades. He has been physically and
emotionally violent since my infancy, and he began to sexually abuse me in 2015.
He does not know I am a lesbian, and if he finds out, he will not hesitate to kill me. He has attempted to kill me several
times over the course of my life, and after a recent attempt, I have realized
that I can no longer put off escaping. More details about the abuse I have
suffered are available here if needed.
I initially planned to leave in a year’s time to hide away enough money for rent, prepare what I need, and give myself the best chance of a secure and permanent escape – other women who have tried to flee my family have been hunted by my father and his brothers and dragged back. My father forces financial control on me and other
members of my family, and so I do not have enough saved. However, my living
situation has become imminently dangerous, and so I must dramatically shorten
my timeline.
Please help me leave and stay gone. All I want is to live in
peace.
please spread this and donate if you’re able to. she’s a dear friend who has supported me as well as others through rough times, and she needs our support. 💖
And hope that is conditional upon the impossible, or even the highly improbable, can do a great deal more harm than good.
But also.
Living without hope for a long time can render you unable to see or even conceive of certain possibilities. Depression, for instance, can completely warp your thinking until every single train of thought ends in “Everything’s hopeless, nothing bad ever changes except maybe to get worse, and I might as well die.” And it can cause you to rationalize that feeling by explaining to yourself over and over again why every single path you could take is horrible or impossible.
Made worse by people massively overgeneralizing “depressive realism” into the idea that they’re actually seeing everything more clearly all the time than people without depression. Made worse by certain kinds of advocacy that teach you should never tell someone their thinking is massively distorted, and never believe anyone who tells you yours is, because that would be ableist or something.
(No. What’s ableist is assuming that everyone who’s ever been labeled with a psychiatric condition is constantly so distorted in their thinking that they can’t perceive anything accurately without you there to interpret it for them. It is not ableist to notice someone has distorted thinking patterns in some areas at some times. Although you should always be careful to be aware everyone has distortions in their thinking including you, and that you might not always have the full story.)
All of these things at once in my life converged into something massively fucked up. Where I was told that the only hope for my future rested on the disappearance of a movement disorder that had not even been named even in professional literature when this was going on. And that if this did not make me hopeful that was the fault of my mental illness and if I only believed hard enough in the cure of something that had no name let alone treatment or cure (there were one or two case studies in existence at that time, there is still no real treatment), then the hopelessness would disappear and I would live totally independently by my twenties.
Nobody told me about SSI.
Nobody told me about communication devices even after it was known and in writing in my records that when I couldn’t speak I could still usually write. And even after someone devised a method for nonspeaking communication on the phone that was basically her running through the alphabet and me tapping the phone when she hit the right letter, along with one tap for yes, two taps for no, and three taps for “something else”. All of which mimics the scanning feature on many communication devices.
Nobody told me about the services that existed in my area for disabled adults.
My neighbor as a kid who got MS and vanished into a nursing home overnight (which was seen as totally normal and inevitable, and people wonder why disabled people lose hope) was still in a nursing home when I was in my twenties, and had still never heard of in-home services that existed in our state for people with the same kind of disabilities she had. She was reportedly suicidal. This was seen as inevitable if sad. I hate inevitable if sad. It masks too many things that everyone ought to be angry about because they’re not natural and inevitable, they are injustices done to some people by other people. People act like institutions are a consequence of disabilities. They’re not. They can’t exist without a whole society deciding to turn the other way as part of society forces people into them based on characteristics that don’t inevitably lead to them. One woman who workd in the California DD system for a long time said it best – the populations of people inside and outside of institutions are identical.
Of course it’s also important to be aware that the shape of the building and the number of people involved don’t make something stop being an institution.
And it’s also important to know that people’s lives don’t stop when they enter an institution and that part of the whole hope thing can involve making life inside better. Because not everyone will get out. And people who don’t get out don’t deserve to be treated even more like nonpersons because people are afraid if we make institutions better for people inside them then nobody will ever be allowed to leave. Just never delude yourself that making it better is a substitute for stopping institutions from existing. No improvement on the inside can create real freedom. But if it’s genuine improvement and not just cosmetic, it will change people’s lives. I remember finding out that the best institution I ever stayed in was so good because it was while I was there being investigated by Protection and Advocacy after deaths occurred. I found this out over ten years later. That explained why they never used the isolation room (solitary confinement, often with restraints) on us – people had died in their isolation rooms and they were being investigated.
Anyway. I’m scared of institutions now more than I ever have been in years. I’m scared of changes not happening because most people still don’t realize institutions aren’t inevitable. I’m not depressed – because I’ve got enough life experiences to know you never know what to expect really – but if all this happened during my periods of depression in the past, it would already be unbearably awful.
But the thing that scares me most is more children growing up like I did, convinced their only hope of even marginal freedom is to come as close to functioning like a nondisabled person as possible. And both children and adults thinking you have to be cured or damn close to it to be happy. And that goes for things that you would really feel better if they were cured, like arthritis – it doesn’t mean cure is the only possible way to be happy. Because people treat it like the cure for ableism is just to make people stop being disabled so they won’t be subject to it. Which is why ~hope for a cure~ is so often poisonous and tainted.
Why does trauma (especially long term) cause
anxiety and paranoia that seem completely illogical? a theory
A lot of us have
experienced severe anxiety in paranoia in seemingly normal circumstances,
simply by being around strangers or in public places, when we’re required to
socialize, when we’re trying to do a task or strive towards something we want
to achieve. We consciously know these circumstances are most likely not
harmful, and our fear seems illogical or greatly exaggerated. When the
circumstances are somehow connected or similar to our trauma, then it’s
explained, but sometimes it can go so far that 90% of activities are impossible
to do, there are places we cannot go, there are experiences we can no longer
have, to the point where it’s alienating, isolating, and sabotaging our life.
So why does this
happen, how does trauma affect us to cause all this?
1. Brain learns from experiences.
Your own, personal
experiences, not other people’s, and it will take your experiences into account
way above what other people say or what is considered normal. If trauma has
happened in certain circumstances to you directly, it no longer matters that
other people consider it safe or feel there is very feeble possibility of
getting hurt, for you these odds have been turned into 100% danger and threat,
and that is a very strong learning experience. Your brain has learned in very
painful way both that you can be severely damaged in certain circumstances, and
that what people have said about it not being dangerous, isn’t true anymore.
2. Traumatic experiences which are not fully
remembered, nor fully processed, not fully analyzed, understood, put into
perspective, and have leftover feelings to be expressed from, cannot be fully
learned from.
So, your brain doesn’t have a full, clean,
clear and conscious record of an experience, but what it does have is a record
of danger, terror, threat to survival, pain, possibility of death, connected to
partial memories, partial circumstances, vague situations. Brain’s job is to
keep you alive, and from this memory, your brain has detected threat to
survival, but can’t really process it or decide in which situation this threat
applies, and in which it doesn’t, so what does brain do in the meantime, while
it processes and analyzes the situation correctly? Mark every single thing that
connects in any way to the trauma, as deadly. And this is the right thing to
do, only way to survive, becuase your brain is not wrong. Some of the circumstances and situations you avoid could
potentially be deadly, maybe it’s 2% of what you’re scared of, but in current
state you cannot safely analyze which out of those are truly dangerous, so your
brain makes sure you avoid them all. Your brain will not take into account what
is socially acceptable, what others consider safe, what should be logically
safe, because that no longer matters once you’ve ended up in life danger
believing in those social pointers. All of that no longer matters, your brain
is developing your own system of recognizing danger, and it’s safest to assume
everything is danger until you acquire more precise information.
This is why processing trauma and getting a
clearer picture of what happened helps more than exposing yourself to
environments that feel dangerous. You can go and force your brain to learn from
new experiences and to check by exposing yourself to danger to see if you die
or not (which is torture), or, you can gather more information, avoid the
triggers and dangerous places until you know for sure what happened to you and
what allowed it and how in the future to prevent it, wait until your memories
are more full and connected and some of the perceived threats will clear up,
also for the sake of putting the danger into perspective, you’ll need statistic
of actual amount of people who got hurt in these environments, and under what
circumstances, your brain needs references to put your trauma into perspective,
and it is comforting to know that you’re not the only one. Take the time to
gain some recovery from your own situation until you are sure that if the same
thing repeated, you would be able to recover from it, and wouldn’t die. And
then, you can decide if it’s worth exposing yourself to these environments
again. Sometimes, it is not. Recovery doesn’t have to mean you can again go all
places without feeling fear. It can mean you now know where the danger is, and
you know better than to expose yourself to it.
*when I say “life danger” it doesn’t
only apply to situations where you could be killed or injured by another
person, it applies to situation where you could go thru such painful experience
you end up wishing you were dead and thus in danger of commiting suicide, it’s
a psychological death danger and a very real threat.
3. Your
instincs are not as wrong or illogical as society perceives them.
You’ll notice that when you’re in a more
vulnerable, distressed, triggered or otherwise sensitive state, the amount of
anxiety and paranoia will increase. This is not you just being even more
illogical, these instincts are in the right place. Current society isn’t
adapted to care about not harming people who are vulnerable and sensitive, and
will not treat an individual with compassion and care when they appear distressed or in need of understanding and safety, it is likely that people will trigger
and hurt you, invalidate your struggles and make you feel much worse than you
initially felt, among with impressing their social opinion that all of your
instincts and fears are wrong. That is the last thing you need when you’re
already feeling awful. So, if you have the urge to spend a week (or month, or
year) inside of your room, not speaking to anyone, that most likely is what
would be the safest course of action for you, and would enable you to process
your experience without someone inflicting their own opinion or judgment on
you.
If your instincts get alarmed whenever you’re
faced with a person of authority, because you’ve suffered abuse from people who
have power over you? You are exactly right, people with power and authority
have proven to be harmful in endless occassions, it would take further research
to see in which circumstances they cannot allow themselves to be harmful, and
until you know for sure, all of them are going to be scary.
If you’ve been living in long term abusive
environment your brain has been wired to survival mode and has learned to
perceive the world as a dangerous place in order to keep you alive, it would be
insane to expect you to re-wire it, without getting reliable information of new
sets of dangers, and, there are always new sets of dangers.
I feel the bigger problem than people feeling
anxiety, paranoia and danger in certain circumstances, is that society insists
they should stop feeling that way, or that their fears are illogical. This
seems to stem from the conviction that it would be bad for people to
acknowledge the existence of danger and potential threat, because it isn’t very
comfortable to know that there are dangers even in most common places. It is
upsetting that the safety of traumatized individuals is being dismissed, and
instead, requirement for them to act socially acceptable, for their feelings to
be convenient, easy to handle and in order with social norms, is being forced
on them. If there was truly no danger,
nobody would be getting hurt or traumatized. We are the proof that the danger
exists.
Sacajawea: If Not For Her, We Could Be Saluting the British Flag
Few women in U.S. history have had more influence on the nation’s history than the young Lemhi Shoshone woman, Sacajawea. It’s very likely that Lewis and Clark would never have reached the Pacific Ocean had it not been for her help. White settlement would have been different. Indian wars throughout the western half of the country would have been altered. We might even be saluting the British flag rather than the American flag. Sacajawea’s role was gigantic.
MY GIRL. She is of our tribe and we are so proud of her out in Inyo County. The Lewis and Clark thing was just a small part of her epic life.
She was actually born with the name Poi Naipi (Little Grass Maiden). She and two of her friends (Nai Nukkwi, Patsu Naipi) were kidnapped by a hostile band of Hidatsa, who had a strange practice of replacing their own dead children with the children of other tribes.
Poi Naipi’s “adopted” parents didn’t like her much so instead of sending her home they freaking sold her to a drunken French guy named Charbonneau. This man was bastard incarnate. To put this into perspective: He had once been stabbed in the face in Manitoba when he was caught raping a young girl there. At this time, being forced to marry him, Poi Naipi was about 9 years old. And, he already had one other child bride.
He was very abusive, he drank a lot, and at some point Poi Naipi started calling herself Tsaikka Tsa Wea. It means in our language, “One Who Carries a Burden.” You see how this got corrupted to Sacajawea over time.
At one point on the L&C expedition Clark caught Charbonneau beating Tsaikka Tsa Wea and her newborn son. Well, Clark and Lewis beat the crap out of Charbonneau and told him to knock it off. Later, after the expedition, Clark paid for Tsaikka Tsa Wea’s son to go to school and live in his home.
That’s not even the cool part though. As an older woman Tsaikka Tsa Wea said “To hell with this, I’m going home.” This was a pretty big thing to do, understand that she had practically been raised by her abusive scumbag husband and it is very hard for women who have been systematically abused since childhood to learn to stand up for themselves, especially against their aggressors. But, she did it. Traveling all by herself, she found the Northern Shoshone encampment on Wind River, where Chief Wusik-He was with some Eastern Shoshone (and some Western at the time) (this would later go on to be the permanent Eastern settlement, those guys are still out there today). She was reunited with her brother, who by that point had been named Daigwani of the Northern Shoshone. Everybody welcomed her home, her friends, her family, and she broke down crying to hear them call her their “Lost Woman” (Wadze Waipu). For her resilience and cunning she was appointed the personal advisor to Wusik-He. As a very old woman was buried with the name “Chief Woman,” later her son and her nephew were buried on either side of her. Those graves are still there on Wind River today.
Poi Naipi and the Wide Ridge Clan, never forget you, your story is always being told. Miikwa katukan, tunna wunupuhantu tung’atiwan naangwunupuhantu
First of all- take a second to breathe. You are in a terrible situation, but you are strong and resilient and you have $7,000 in savings. You WILL get through this! Also you have more money than both my boyfriend and I put together currently, and we rent an apartment with 2 cats. You can do it!
I have a few questions for you-
1. Do you have a job?
2. Do you want to attend a university?
3. Are you opposed to living with roommates?
4. Do you have transportation?
My Parents Are Forcing Me To Move Out- What Can I Do?
I get a lot of questions about this. Here are some steps that you can take while still living in your parents house, steps that will help you work towards getting a place of your own. Stay strong! You’ll get through this.
1. Important Documents. Get as many of your important documents (social security card, birth certificate, tax forms, etc) as possible while you’re still living with your parents. You will need this information when you move out, and it may be harder for you to get these documents after you’ve moved out.
2. Get a job. If you’re still in school, limit yourself to a part-time job that can become a full-time job when you finish your education. You can’t save up money if you don’t have a job, and this will just force you to be dependent on your parents financially.
3. Get transportation. Get yourself a mode of transportation that does not rely on your parents. Biking, walking, and using public transportation are all ways that you can get where you need to be without their help. You cannot rely on any car that’s in their name (even if they call it “your” car). I’ve had multiple friends dealing with difficult parents have their cars taken away from them in an attempt to further control their lives.
4. Start saving money. Even if this just means saving $100 every two weeks, this is still a great start!
5. Separate bank account. Speaking of saving money, get yourself a bank account that your parents don’t have access to. A friend of mine tried to move out of her home and her parents literally moved all her money into their account because they had joint access. If you cannot get a separate bank account, start saving money in cash in a good hiding spot.
6. Start paying for your own devices. You do not want your parents to be able to threaten to take your phone away if they don’t like the choices you’re making. You should also change any passwords on devices that your parents may know.
7. Utilize resources that get you out of the house. There are lots of spaces that you can hang out after school for free, including public parks and libraries. Join clubs and volunteer your time if you can’t stand being home.
8. File as independent on your taxes. We’re a while away from tax season, but remember to file as independent on your taxes. This means that your parents can no longer claim you as a dependent and will no longer receive a tax break from the government for housing you. What it means for you, is that you will no longer be considered part of their tax bracket. This means you’ll have a better chance at applying for financial aid, health insurance, car insurance, etc.
9. Involve your college. If you’re looking to go to university sometime in the future but are afraid you can’t afford it, find out if your college has any programs for independent students. Many SUNY schools have what is called the EOP Program and the Independent Student Program, which will pay for your college tuition based off your independent tax status. You cannot rely entirely on FAFSA to pay for your tuition! Talk to a school counselor and find out what is offered. PS: Many of these programs are first-semester admit only, so take that into consideration.
10. Keep your housing search a secret. I hate to generalize with parenting, but if your parents are threatening to throw you out or are forcing you to move out, it’s probably not a good idea to let them know that you’re going to move out. Oddly enough, two of my friends who have been in this very same situation got ready to move out of their respective homes, only to have their parents freak out. Even if your parents are saying that they’re going to force you to move out, they may not believe that you actually can and will do it. They may try to stop you or use emotional tactics to control you and keep you home. When you do move out- do not under any circumstance tell them your address.
11. Build your support system. Tell as many trustworthy people as you can what is happening, so that they can be there to support you during this time. You’ll have places to crash in if you need to, so your parent’s house isn’t your only option. I would try to tell at least one “Adult” in your life- a teacher, a counselor, your employer, etc. Obviously you don’t want them talking to your parents, but they may be able to offer support and confidence.
12. Decide on an apartment budget. Decide what you can afford, based off of how much money you’re making. Find out if any of your friends are going to get their own place, and see if you can find a roommate. This will save you so much money and headache in the long run. If you can’t find a roommate and can’t afford an apartment, look into renting a room in a house or shared space.
13. Learn some life skills. Cooking, cleaning, sewing, basic repair, car maintenance, laundry, etc are all useful skills that you will need when you move out. Start mastering them now, and you’ll feel more confident when on your own.
14. Discount stores. Get familiar with shopping for yourself at discount stores. While shopping at the Dollar Store may not be ideal for you, I recommend that you buy all your starter groceries and household supplies there. Off-brand items will save you $$!
15. Make plans for pets. Do not leave your pets at your parent’s house. If you can’t move them into your new place, find a friend who can pet sit until you find a more comfortable situation. Do not let your parents hold your pets over your head as emotional leverage!
16. Be prepared to buy new furniture. Your parents may not allow you to take any furniture with you when you move. Be prepared to spend some money on things like mattresses, tables, cooking supplies, etc. Peruse local yard sales and bargain bins to see if you can scavenge any supplies. Hit up your friends and coworkers to see if they have any furniture/supplies they’re not using. Honestly this is how I got half of the furniture in my apartment.
17. Try to keep it positive. Throughout all of this, please remember that your parents do love you, even if they’re not expressing it in a positive way. Be above toxic behavior and any emotional bullying they may throw your way, and when you do move out try to let them know that you love them and hope they will support you. They may ignore you or refuse to talk to you for some time after you move out, and this is okay. They will eventually get to the point where they miss your contact, and you should be prepared for that opportunity to start fresh. I’ve known people whose relationship with their parents has improved 100% after they move out. Some personalities are just not meant to live together. Give them the time they need to adjust, and be proud of yourself for everything you’ve done!
I hope this helps!
This is one of the most important posts on Tumblr.
My parents seem to have a really strong belief that I am effectively incapable of functioning normally socially or functioning on my own, and that my “social problem” justifies a lot of their controlling actions.
I do have some issues with social anxiety etc.
But, a lot of my parents actions have been the cause of a number of the issues in my social life. I’m pretty much never allowed to have anyone over, they want a full accounting of where I am at all times. I can’t talk to anyone on the phone without them stepping in to listen into the conversation. They have a lot of limits on my social life. They have picked fights with people in my life and therefore messed up potential friends and contacts (if people are interested I can tell some of those stories). Even for the ~2 months I was in a different state than them they tried to establish a lot of control over me. (they for instance were calling regularly to “check in” on me, when I was once out with a friend they tried to call me, I didn’t answer, my parents proceeded to hammer my phone with about 25 total calls before I eventually picked up, they also tried calling the leasing office of the apartment complex I was staying at during the time to get them to check in on me, they also somehow managed to do a password reset on my gmail account to check my email for information about where I was, I was only really out of contact for 1.5 hr)
When you decide you want to leave, this is the kind of thing that will easily get you a restraining order.
That’s stalking. You’re an adult. On of the great things about being an adult is that you get to decide not to talk to people, even if it’s just for a couple of hours.
This may be something you can get assistance with your state’s Protection & Advocacy organization, too.
topher and I were taking a parenting class at a place that also does child therapy for autistic kids and there were some fucking creepy-ass posters on the wall
“when you do UNEXPECTED things it makes people UNCOMFORTABLE and then they DON’T LIKE YOU” <–actual quote
has it occurred to you that it is a bad idea to teach the literal-minded people with social impairments social rules that are not true
Well, if there’s one thing autistic kids are known for, it’s their complete unpredictability and unbridled love of defying expectations, right?
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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