If you’ve been following me for a while, you more than likely know what’s going on, but for those who don’t know: I’ve been in an extremely toxic, abusive relationship for the past 6 ½ years with my son’s father. We have a 3 year old together. While I did leave him last year, I (stupidly) came back in March under the promises of “things would change” etc etc. He has been emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually, and financially abusive. I am cooperating with the state in applying for all kinds of state assistance I am eligible for. I have an apartment and have our most basic needs covered. I need help with covering rent at the end of the month as I can’t do it by myself (my rent is $936), I have no consistent means of transportation (there is no bus/public transit in the city I live in) and I really realllyyy don’t want to have to allow my abuser into my home just to help cover these bills. I can manage on my own, but I need help getting on my feet and establishing my independence in the time being.
Any resources, encouraging words (I have virtually no support system), or other help is so much appreciated.
My PayPal is c.newago@yahoo.com, or PayPal.me/bizaanideewin
Please please don’t send anon hate or criticism, I cannot stress how hard I am struggling with my own guilt and self-blaming right now
Miigwech
I’m having a sale on my website, if donating isn’t your jam.
Bringing this back, with an update: I wasn’t able to survive on my own so I had to let him in. Lo and behold the abuse continues. Today he punched a hole in the bedroom door. My dad is going to cosign for a new apartment for me back in my hometown, as long as I cover the costs he is going to help me move. I’ve already got a rental application submitted. I’m done I’m leaving I’m OUT. I have tangible proof and I can break the lease without repercussions through the domestic violence clause in the lease.
I just need help with the intial moving costs and initial housing costs- the apartment I applied for is $645 a month, security deposit same amount. First months rent and security deposit due at lease signing. Moving costs are around $400 (it’s a 300 mile move so it gets expensive fast)
If you’ve been following me for a while, you more than likely know what’s going on, but for those who don’t know: I’ve been in an extremely toxic, abusive relationship for the past 6 ½ years with my son’s father. We have a 3 year old together. While I did leave him last year, I (stupidly) came back in March under the promises of “things would change” etc etc. He has been emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually, and financially abusive. I am cooperating with the state in applying for all kinds of state assistance I am eligible for. I have an apartment and have our most basic needs covered. I need help with covering rent at the end of the month as I can’t do it by myself (my rent is $936), I have no consistent means of transportation (there is no bus/public transit in the city I live in) and I really realllyyy don’t want to have to allow my abuser into my home just to help cover these bills. I can manage on my own, but I need help getting on my feet and establishing my independence in the time being.
Any resources, encouraging words (I have virtually no support system), or other help is so much appreciated.
My PayPal is c.newago@yahoo.com, or PayPal.me/bizaanideewin
Please please don’t send anon hate or criticism, I cannot stress how hard I am struggling with my own guilt and self-blaming right now
Miigwech
I’m having a sale on my website, if donating isn’t your jam.
Bringing this back, with an update: I wasn’t able to survive on my own so I had to let him in. Lo and behold the abuse continues. Today he punched a hole in the bedroom door. My dad is going to cosign for a new apartment for me back in my hometown, as long as I cover the costs he is going to help me move. I’ve already got a rental application submitted. I’m done I’m leaving I’m OUT. I have tangible proof and I can break the lease without repercussions through the domestic violence clause in the lease.
I just need help with the intial moving costs and initial housing costs- the apartment I applied for is $645 a month, security deposit same amount. First months rent and security deposit due at lease signing. Moving costs are around $400 (it’s a 300 mile move so it gets expensive fast)
There are people who are still alive today who worked as teachers in Residential Schools. People who will probably never face any kind of punishment. It makes me so sick.
Let me tell you, as an autistic adult who also was a main caregiver for an autistic boy (my brother).
For the record: I swear that if you use this post to say autism makes people violent and abusive, I will send 12,000 angry geese to flock in your bedroom and destroy every item that you treasure the most. AND I will eat the leftovers you had planned on eating for lunch tomorrow. Don’t you fuckin dare miss the point of this post.
Listen up. I got a story for you.
Bit of background first.
My boy, my little hobbit, was born when I was ten years old. My mother left him alone with my grandparents and me. She legit abandoned him.
My grandparents weren’t sure they could take him in. I begged. I pleaded. I asked as hard as I could to let us keep him and not give him back to my mother.
Of course, they said yes.
I dutifully became the protective older sister.
I would bathe him up until the week I left for college. I measured his medications and crushed them into his favorite yogurt. Blue, if you were curious.I made sure his food was perfect – french fries made just like he wanted, a chicken fry sandwich complete with his favorite McDonald’s sauce we bought in bulk. I went to his speech and occupational therapies several times a week, and practiced the things he learned. I went with him to his first day of school.
I even did a middle school project all about autism (which I am slightly embarrassed about, as I mentioned A$ in it ugh). I read all the autism books a 12 year old could find, and immersed myself in the Vanderbilt paperwork. I delved into the world of IEPs, visual schedules, and basic sign language.
And now, I’m still sending them resources and information on medications, papers for teachers, and going over doctor notes for him – despite being six hours away.
(Of course, I was an undiagnosed autistic girl who also needed quiet. When I wasn’t needed to do these things, I was often in my room away from the loud television and people. I wasn’t a perfect caregiver, but I did do a lot.)
All of that to say: yeah, it wasn’t easy. But since when is raising a kid ever easy? I started looking after this boy when I wasten years old.
But here’s what infuriates me.
I read all the time about these autism moms who complain about how terrible their lives are. They say they’re afraid of being hurt and their lives are destroyed. Some even talk about killing their kids.
You know what?
Yeah, I got hurt by him or when helping him. I got bit, scratched, hit, and everything else. Usually it was just him being frustrated over lack of communicating his needs, so I was rarely angry. I ran after him when he went out the door straight for a lawnmower and I fell to the concrete. I grabbed him right before he ran into a street and ended up with my arm covered in blood.
I was kicked in the head and given a traumatic brain injury that requires me to now use a cane, and has caused a ton of nervous system issues. I even use a wheelchair part-time due to another condition that occurred afterwards. I’m only 20, and my health is pretty comparable to someone with congestive heart failure.
And you know what? I never in a million years thought about hurting my little brother.
I still don’t blame him. He was often overwhelmed, and had meltdowns. As an autistic person myself, I understood it – even if I didn’t know I was autistic at the time. (I suspected, but was too focused on other things.) I don’t know if I’ll ever get better health-wise, and that’s okay. I don’t know if I’ll get to run and dance again, or if there’s worse effects to come. It’s just what it is, and I’ve accepted that.
He’s a child. It’s not his fault. He once asked me if it was, and I hugged him tight and said absolutely not.
I say all this not to demonstrate how violent autistic people can be, but to demonstrate that I get where these autism moms are coming from.
Again, for the record, autistic people are far more likely to be abused and assaulted.
Remember how I said I get where they’re coming from?
Yeah, that’s still not an excuse to be harmful toward your child. Ever.
You don’t give your babies bleach, shock them, or starve them. You don’t talk about them as if they’re literally a death sentence for you. And you sure as hell don’t want to murder your little ones.
And if you literally want to kill your kid, if you would rather have a dead child than an autistic one, I have news for you. You don’t deserve that child, and you better back up and understand this.
You autism moms need to stop. You need to listen.
Your kids are going through a world that wants to “cure” them, force them into suffering so they can look “normal.” Your kids are going to spend their entire lives dealing with a world that is hostile to them. People try to assimilate us to save their own pride, at the expense of our own comfort and stability. Your kid is going to go through life being told that they should be literally “treated” with electroshock therapy because of their neurology. They’re going to be told that they shouldn’t reproduce. They’re going to be told that they’re not worth having space in this world. Your kid is going to grow up one day, and they’re going to hear this and internalize it.
I know that, because that’s what I hear every day.
You say it’s so hard to have an autistic kid?
Well, of course it is. But you know what?
Kids are hard. They’re going to kick, hit, pinch, and everything else. Even neurotypical kids do that. I don’t know a single kid who hasn’t bit their caregiver or thrown something when grumpy. (I’ll say it again for those in the back: autistic kids are way wayway more likely to be abused and hurt.)
When you have a kid, you sign up for this. You love that little one unconditionally, you protect them with all your heart. You give them support. You love that child even if they have a disability, especially when they have a disability.
You teach them that they are allowed to exist, that they are just as valuable and needed in this world like anyone else. We need all the neurodiversity in this world we can get.
You teach your child that they’re not a burden. You teach them how to say no and that autonomy is often more important than compliance. You teach them that you love them, and that they will always have someone in their corner to back them up when times are tough.
I don’t care how hard you think it is raise an autistic child.
Trust me, I know full well it’s hard. Parenting is hard. It’s not easy, and it’s not always roses and fluffy kittens. That has nothing to do with having an autistic kid; that’s just a fact of life.
The fear of getting hurt is valid. I can attest to that, and I don’t think I can downplay that. But that behavior is communication, and you have to learn how to read it. I did. You have to fight for better supports, for ways to make it easier on your kid – and by doing this, easier for you too.
Sure, it’s hard.
But you know what? Your kid’s going to have it much harder.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you more than likely know what’s going on, but for those who don’t know: I’ve been in an extremely toxic, abusive relationship for the past 6 ½ years with my son’s father. We have a 3 year old together. While I did leave him last year, I (stupidly) came back in March under the promises of “things would change” etc etc. He has been emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually, and financially abusive. I am cooperating with the state in applying for all kinds of state assistance I am eligible for. I have an apartment and have our most basic needs covered. I need help with covering rent at the end of the month as I can’t do it by myself (my rent is $936), I have no consistent means of transportation (there is no bus/public transit in the city I live in) and I really realllyyy don’t want to have to allow my abuser into my home just to help cover these bills. I can manage on my own, but I need help getting on my feet and establishing my independence in the time being.
Any resources, encouraging words (I have virtually no support system), or other help is so much appreciated.
My PayPal is c.newago@yahoo.com, or PayPal.me/bizaanideewin
Please please don’t send anon hate or criticism, I cannot stress how hard I am struggling with my own guilt and self-blaming right now
Miigwech
I’m having a sale on my website, if donating isn’t your jam.
Bringing this back, with an update: I wasn’t able to survive on my own so I had to let him in. Lo and behold the abuse continues. Today he punched a hole in the bedroom door. My dad is going to cosign for a new apartment for me back in my hometown, as long as I cover the costs he is going to help me move. I’ve already got a rental application submitted. I’m done I’m leaving I’m OUT. I have tangible proof and I can break the lease without repercussions through the domestic violence clause in the lease.
I just need help with the intial moving costs and initial housing costs- the apartment I applied for is $645 a month, security deposit same amount. First months rent and security deposit due at lease signing. Moving costs are around $400 (it’s a 300 mile move so it gets expensive fast)
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG
I’m almost 15% of the way there!! Please boost!
UPDATE: before my best friend came to get me to visit her, he and I got into a huge fight. He was screaming at me at the top of his lungs calling me a selfish bitch and a slut. He then proceeded to tell me Makoons won’t have any parents anymore if I call the cops.
Please boost!! I want to leave BEFORE this escalates!!!!
If you’ve been following me for a while, you more than likely know what’s going on, but for those who don’t know: I’ve been in an extremely toxic, abusive relationship for the past 6 ½ years with my son’s father. We have a 3 year old together. While I did leave him last year, I (stupidly) came back in March under the promises of “things would change” etc etc. He has been emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually, and financially abusive. He threatens suicide every time I try to leave him. He’s flipped tables, thrown things, pushed me down a flight of stairs, pulled a knife on me, tried to drag me out of the house by my feet at 15 weeks pregnant. He gaslights me DAILY. Yesterday, he punched a hole in the bedroom door. My dad is going to cosign for a new apartment for me back in my hometown, as long as I cover the costs he is going to help me move. I’ve already got a rental application submitted. I’m done I’m leaving I’m OUT. I have tangible proof and I can break the lease without repercussions through the domestic violence clause in the lease.
I just need help with the intial moving costs and initial housing costs- the apartment I applied for is $645 a month, security deposit same amount. First months rent and security deposit due at lease signing. Moving costs are around $400 (it’s a 300 mile move so it gets expensive fast)
My PayPal is c.newago@yahoo.com
Cash.me/$binesiikwens
You can shop my website if donating isn’t your thing! www.bizaanideewin.com
Can we just… normalize teens loving their parents? Like obviously you’re not obligated to if your parents are shitty, but damn, I love my mom. She’s there for me all the time and sure we have rough patches but honestly she’s the greatest. Like. We need teens to know that they don’t have to hate their parents just cause.
It must be nice to come from a nonabusive family. One that doesn’t traumatized every emotional interaction to the point where you drive away any sign of love as a form of manipulation because that’s all that you were raised with. 🤷♀️
It is.
Reading Comprehension
but loving ur parents is already normalized and its the kids w/ abusive parents that actually have to deal with misunderstandings and ignorance from others regarding this topic.
Hey there, I’m talking about the trope where it’s seen as super uncool to like your parents that was literally pushed on teens through the media since the culture shift in the early 60s. The post has nothing to do with abusive parents. I was abused as a kid and honestly if the trope where teens have to hate their parents to be cool died, then kids with actual abusive parents would have an easier time recognizing abuse this has been a psa
“if the trope where teens have to hate their parents to be cool died, then kids with actual abusive parents would have an easier time recognizing abuse”
Teen with abusive parents: I hate my parents
Teen influenced by society: Me too mine are the worst
The takeaway for teen 1: This is normal and it’s supposed to be this way
The takeaway for teen 2: My friend’s parents are like mine
The takeaway for any adult listening: All kids who complain about their parents are just being rebellious
Honestly, I think most teenagers who complain constantly about their parents are being abused, or at least come from families with serious interpersonal problems.
Of the people I know who did this from 12-17 who I actually knew well enough to have any idea, one was being hyper-controlled by parents who thought she was basically a doll and were angry with her for expressing any emotion; one had a stepfather who hit her and was being funneled into the psych system and diagnosed with ODD for denying she deserved it; one I don’t know details about but ‘bringing vodka to first period in tenth grade and chugging it in class’ doesn’t exactly spell ‘functional family life;’ one – my older sister – lived in a house with a child molester and her abusive husband; one – me – was sexually abused.
Teenagers complaining about their parents is common because abusive parenting is common. The people I know as an adult who have good relationships with their parents didn’t do it regularly as teenagers.
(Personal anecdata suggests most teenagers who are at the ‘I hate my parents’ stage know they’re being treated unfairly. I didn’t leave because I was afraid of being arrested, not because I’d “normalized abuse.” Teenagers have very little power to leave on their own, and almost all of their options for asking for help are dangerous, sometimes more dangerous than their families. They don’t invite abuse by accepting it as normal; our legal system just gives parents almost unlimited power over them.)
If you’ve been following me for a while, you more than likely know what’s going on, but for those who don’t know: I’ve been in an extremely toxic, abusive relationship for the past 6 ½ years with my son’s father. We have a 3 year old together. While I did leave him last year, I (stupidly) came back in March under the promises of “things would change” etc etc. He has been emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually, and financially abusive. He threatens suicide every time I try to leave him. He’s flipped tables, thrown things, pushed me down a flight of stairs, pulled a knife on me, tried to drag me out of the house by my feet at 15 weeks pregnant. He gaslights me DAILY. Yesterday, he punched a hole in the bedroom door. My dad is going to cosign for a new apartment for me back in my hometown, as long as I cover the costs he is going to help me move. I’ve already got a rental application submitted. I’m done I’m leaving I’m OUT. I have tangible proof and I can break the lease without repercussions through the domestic violence clause in the lease.
I just need help with the intial moving costs and initial housing costs- the apartment I applied for is $645 a month, security deposit same amount. First months rent and security deposit due at lease signing. Moving costs are around $400 (it’s a 300 mile move so it gets expensive fast)
My PayPal is c.newago@yahoo.com
Cash.me/$binesiikwens
You can shop my website if donating isn’t your thing! www.bizaanideewin.com
If you’ve been following me for a while, you more than likely know what’s going on, but for those who don’t know: I’ve been in an extremely toxic, abusive relationship for the past 6 ½ years with my son’s father. We have a 3 year old together. While I did leave him last year, I (stupidly) came back in March under the promises of “things would change” etc etc. He has been emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually, and financially abusive. I am cooperating with the state in applying for all kinds of state assistance I am eligible for. I have an apartment and have our most basic needs covered. I need help with covering rent at the end of the month as I can’t do it by myself (my rent is $936), I have no consistent means of transportation (there is no bus/public transit in the city I live in) and I really realllyyy don’t want to have to allow my abuser into my home just to help cover these bills. I can manage on my own, but I need help getting on my feet and establishing my independence in the time being.
Any resources, encouraging words (I have virtually no support system), or other help is so much appreciated.
My PayPal is c.newago@yahoo.com, or PayPal.me/bizaanideewin
Please please don’t send anon hate or criticism, I cannot stress how hard I am struggling with my own guilt and self-blaming right now
Miigwech
I’m having a sale on my website, if donating isn’t your jam.
Bringing this back, with an update: I wasn’t able to survive on my own so I had to let him in. Lo and behold the abuse continues. Today he punched a hole in the bedroom door. My dad is going to cosign for a new apartment for me back in my hometown, as long as I cover the costs he is going to help me move. I’ve already got a rental application submitted. I’m done I’m leaving I’m OUT. I have tangible proof and I can break the lease without repercussions through the domestic violence clause in the lease.
I just need help with the intial moving costs and initial housing costs- the apartment I applied for is $645 a month, security deposit same amount. First months rent and security deposit due at lease signing. Moving costs are around $400 (it’s a 300 mile move so it gets expensive fast)
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG
I’m almost 15% of the way there!! Please boost!
UPDATE: before my best friend came to get me to visit her, he and I got into a huge fight. He was screaming at me at the top of his lungs calling me a selfish bitch and a slut. He then proceeded to tell me Makoons won’t have any parents anymore if I call the cops.
Please boost!! I want to leave BEFORE this escalates!!!!
If you’ve been following me for a while, you more than likely know what’s going on, but for those who don’t know: I’ve been in an extremely toxic, abusive relationship for the past 6 ½ years with my son’s father. We have a 3 year old together. While I did leave him last year, I (stupidly) came back in March under the promises of “things would change” etc etc. He has been emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually, and financially abusive. I am cooperating with the state in applying for all kinds of state assistance I am eligible for. I have an apartment and have our most basic needs covered. I need help with covering rent at the end of the month as I can’t do it by myself (my rent is $936), I have no consistent means of transportation (there is no bus/public transit in the city I live in) and I really realllyyy don’t want to have to allow my abuser into my home just to help cover these bills. I can manage on my own, but I need help getting on my feet and establishing my independence in the time being.
Any resources, encouraging words (I have virtually no support system), or other help is so much appreciated.
My PayPal is c.newago@yahoo.com, or PayPal.me/bizaanideewin
Please please don’t send anon hate or criticism, I cannot stress how hard I am struggling with my own guilt and self-blaming right now
Miigwech
I’m having a sale on my website, if donating isn’t your jam.
Bringing this back, with an update: I wasn’t able to survive on my own so I had to let him in. Lo and behold the abuse continues. Today he punched a hole in the bedroom door. My dad is going to cosign for a new apartment for me back in my hometown, as long as I cover the costs he is going to help me move. I’ve already got a rental application submitted. I’m done I’m leaving I’m OUT. I have tangible proof and I can break the lease without repercussions through the domestic violence clause in the lease.
I just need help with the intial moving costs and initial housing costs- the apartment I applied for is $645 a month, security deposit same amount. First months rent and security deposit due at lease signing. Moving costs are around $400 (it’s a 300 mile move so it gets expensive fast)
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG
I’m almost 15% of the way there!! Please boost!
UPDATE: before my best friend came to get me to visit her, he and I got into a huge fight. He was screaming at me at the top of his lungs calling me a selfish bitch and a slut. He then proceeded to tell me Makoons won’t have any parents anymore if I call the cops.
Please boost!! I want to leave BEFORE this escalates!!!!
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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