It’s amazing how seasons work. I’m in Japan, it’s mid-December and I’m freezing…
But apparently back in England, it’s the end of May.
Tag: bad puns
If you were dating an FBI agent and you dumped him
he would be your fed ex
a friend: when I die, plant catnip on my grave
me: necro atsume
What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear?
Horcrocs
Someone: WHAT ARE THOOOOOSE??
Voldemort, being really offended: they are my Horcrocs
Avada Ka-fab-ra amiright
Naughty trees go to tree prison.
Looks like a pinetentiary to me.
“So, what are you in fir?”
“Treeson.”
My partner: “I suspect at least one of them is in because its bark is worse than its bite.”
This is soo bad its good
TIL that 23% of the crew aboard Christopher Columbus’ ship “Santa Maria” was named “Juan”.
via reddit.com
That’s nearly a three to juan ratio
You son of a bitch
I hate seeing this post still go around because I’m reminded of all the people in the notes that don’t know what a ratio is
transphobes aren’t allowed to shop anymore because making a purchase is a trans action ://
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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