anyone can pass as straight, if they silence themselves enough.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
BTW, I’m primarily attracted to women. I doubt that, should I find a life partner, it’ll be a man. I just see no reason to pretend I’m not attracted to men, because I’m not sure who that benefits other than mean people.
When these gremlins say “I don’t have to care about you because you’ll probably end up with a man,” they’re saying “I’m not listening to you; I just want you to do something that makes you an easier target.”
Yeah i even followed the link to their explanation and im still really not getting it like… If some people wanna use mlm or wlw thats their choice. There’s about 10 billion posts all over tumblr using every single term for anything under the Sun, if you want something different go get it. Untill there is a LGBT+ grand council to tell us what the One True Terminology is then its up to the individual to decide what they like best.
You know whats REALLY exhausting? Infighting over nothing.
i’m not real interested in replying at length, because you don’t sound all that interested in listening, but tl;dr: bisexual men & women desire men *and* women. in theory, WLW/MLM should include bi men & women. in practice, as in this post, it doesn’t. and in that post specifically, it basically takes a giant shit all over m-spec/bi+ folks and says “lol ur basically straight”.
make more sense now? or you wanna keep sticking ur fingers in ur ears?
Theres no way you would know this, but your not the first bisexual whose opinion on this particular post (or these terms) that I’ve heard. There are actually many bisexuals in my life, and many more online, whose opinions ive heard on this issue. So please dont assume I’m simply plugging my ears to bisexual voices.
A lot of them actually do use these terms, because they happen to like them. You do not. Thats fine. Thats the thing about the multitude of labels; not everyone is going to click with them. I personally use lesbian for myself, but thats mostly for ease of explanation. Like everyone else, my sexuality can be complicated and I use what terms i feel best suit me for the time being. Its useless and counter productive to get mad about any specific term simply because you feel it doesnt suit you. This post really does not exclude bisexuals, nor do the terms somehow imply they are “basically straight”. You are maby the first person Ive seen pull that from this post. But thats okay! Your life is shaped to your experiences so, if you choose not to identify with these terms dont use them. But dont throw shade at them, because others DO like these terms and find use for them.
Tl:dr: labels and terminology are going to vary from person to person because sexuality is complex and multifaceted and going around saying “this label exhausts me” just because you dont personally use it is actually pretty rude, please reconsider.
I am not even gonna bother tryna talk with you because you’re obviously pretty set, and set on being pretty damn patronizing about it, but just replying to let you know: nah, you’re wrong, you obviously are not understanding the actual issue here, and the words we use as identifying labels matter more than just “what sounds nice” or “clicks”.
Nice dismissal of someone’s emotional experience with your little “don’t show me your pain, it’s rude”, at the end there, though. 🙂
‘The only queer part of a bi/pan person’s experience is the part that looks just like a gay experience.’
That’s all that original post and 90% of wlw/mlm posts ever say.
Well, they say this too:
“We’re only interested in relecting cisgender people.”
If we could stop trying to annex the identities of other queer people to serve our own gay interests, that would be super awesome.
^^^ What Dawn said.
Also, suppose we, as bi people, do fall into the “wlw” or “mlm” categories (nvm that they tend to… not be inclusive of nb people). Nine times out of ten posts like the one in the screencap tend to… shit all over men. And “why are men Like That” and a myriad other things and turns of phrase that essentially come down to “ew boys why would you like those”
It… you’re essentially telling us that the only valid part of us is the part that is attracted to the same gender, while completely invalidating the fact that we do, in fact, like the opposite gender. And, worse, telling us that the opposite gender is gross and we have no reason to like them and, by association, we are gross and should be ashamed for liking the opposite gender.
Y’all…. I like men and women. I am dating a wonderful and amazing man. Do you have any idea how tiring it gets to see people who should be supportive of you shitting all over your relationships and experiences because “you’re basically straight”?
The answer is very.
so i’ll admit it took me awhile to understand what the problem was with a post that i thought was p funny but it finally clicked and is super obvious now lmao
(problem in super-clear language for those still brain-farting like i was: the screencapped post basically says that “wlw don’t like men (because they’re “like that” aka gross)”, but “wlw” does not in fact mean “lesbian”, it means lesbians and bisexual women, and bisexual women sure as heck do like men, so the usage of “wlw” in that post is inaccurate at best, and otherwise, well, what the posters above me said)
although, i disagree that it entirely “shits all over m-spec folk” bc the (actually accurately used) mlm slant is “how can we be expected not to like boys when they’re “like that” aka hot as hell”
or at least that’s how i interpreted it?
sorry if i’m still missing a bit tho x.x
m-spec as in multisexual spectrum, not masc!does that help? if… that was the problem. other than that, yeah, you got it! (mlm still has the exact same problems in common usage, and in that post, as wlw tho. it’s still just working as a synonym for gay.)
thanks for your clarifying explanation for others tho! i’ve been super aggravated by the acronyms for ages, and i’m well aware the saltiness of my OP is a bit obscure for anyone not tuned in to the same wavelength.
worst of it is, the post wld be pretty cute and funny…. if it just said gay & lesbian instead.
oh yes i was reading m-spec as masc-spec lol thanks
i don’t feel that the post excludes bi men though, bc it’s not saying they’re not attracted to women as well, just that they’re not limited to women bc men are (also) hot? that’s how i’m reading it at least
and yeah i can 100% understand your fatigue lol
Yeah, you’re giving it the pretty charitable reading. After seeing so much usage of MLM to mean gay, I’m pretty unwilling to be so generous, lol. It could be read as you are reading It, or it could be seen as just reinforcing the idea of “why be (attracted to women) when men are Like That”.
In honor of Janelle Monáe coming out I put together a lil graphic about bi & pan identities! This is based on my own experiences within the community as someone who uses both terms. It of course does not cover everything! Image description under the cut.
seriously though bisexuality being defined as attraction to men and women is a heterosexual’s definition of bisexuality actual bisexual groups and organizations have been defining it as attraction to two or more genders or same and other genders since the nineties and plenty of nb people actually id as bi and refusing to accept how we define ourselves is so absurdly biphobic and heterosexist and jfc it’s 2014 can other queer people fucking realize and acknowledge this
The purple stripe on the bi flag is meant to represent attraction to nb genders and the bisexual manifesto published in Anything That Moves includes the lines “Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature … In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.” That was published in 1990. It’s older than a lot of people here, including me, and older than terms like “pansexual” and “polysexual” by at least a decade. Bi history is important.
The 1990 Bisexual Manifesto
We are tired of being analyzed, defined and represented by people other than ourselves, or worse yet, not considered at all. We are frustrated by the imposed isolation and invisibility that comes from being told or expected to choose either a homosexual or heterosexual identity.
Monosexuality is a heterosexist dictate used to oppress homosexuals and to negate the validity of bisexuality.
Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have “two” sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders. Do not mistake our fluidity for confusion, irresponsibility, or an inability to commit. Do not equate promiscuity, infidelity, or unsafe sexual behavior with bisexuality. Those are human traits that cross all sexual orientations. Nothing should be assumed about anyone’s sexuality, including your own.
We are angered by those who refuse to accept our existence; our issues; our contributions; our alliances; our voice. It is time for the bisexual voice to be heard.
‘Ultimately, bisexual men themselves will continue to be the most powerful force for changing hearts and minds. I asked each bisexual man I interviewed what he would want the world to know about his sexual orientation. Some wanted to clear up specific misconceptions but so many of them simply wanted people to acknowledge that male bisexuality is not fake.
“It’s important that bisexuality be acknowledged as real,” said Martyn, 30, adding that “there’s only so long someone can hold on to a part of themselves that seems invisible before it starts to make them doubt their own sense of self.”
“I am happy being bisexual and I’m not looking for an answer,” said Dan, 19. “I’m not trying things out, I’m not using this as a placeholder to discover my identity. This is who I am. And I love it.”’
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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