fierceawakening:

hurtleturtle:

redadhdventures:

geekandmisandry:

skeletonjusticewarrior:

rookbodhi:

posts that are like “let bi women date men!” or whatever are like… so embarrassing because i know that what they probably mean is “bi women who date men are still bi” and that kind of erasure is an important issue both in and out of the lgbt community but like please phrase it better bc Nobody is disallowing women to date men kjdgkdf

except for lesbians who tell bi women if they date men, they’re no longer a part of the queer community.

like i get what you’re trying to say here but there are biphobes within the community literally disallowing bi women to date men with the threat of excommunication from the community. “let bi women date men” is an important message that needs to be shared with folks who genuinely believe that a bi woman dating a man is no longer queer. (same with a bi man dating a woman)

so yeah, let bi women date men.

I went back in the closet for YEARS after I first came out as bi because my friends in the community basically gave me an ultimatum and told me that bisexual was a “stop gap” and I had to choose if I wanted to be a “good ally”. I knew I liked boys so I chose straight because I didn’t know what else to do.

With that choice came years of self hate, internalized biphobia and literally forcing myself to have sex with men when I didn’t want to because I was trying to make myself fit. And when I did have sex with women I would go into full denial mode, “just because I can have sex with a woman doesn’t mean I’m bi”.

It takes zero effort to let bi women date men, it takes zero effort to believe us when we say there is a VERY negatively charged association within the community towards bi women who date men and it takes zero effort not to make posts trying to pick at the bi people who make short posts about it.

Let me tell you. I’ve had a few people tell me I wasn’t bi upon finding out I’m getting married to a man. Never met them before that. Never had a conversation with them. Yet they still decided to tell me I wasn’t bisexual upon meeting me and finding out I was engaged.

So yeah. Let bi women date, love, be engaged to, and marry men. Let them. LET THEM. Because this biphobia within the community is one of the most hypocritical things I’ve come across and it needs to stop.

Plus it’s just like statistically more likely for a bi girl to meet a straight guy than a queer woman? Like I’m a lesbian and I have enough trouble finding girls to date, if I were bi I’d probably be way more likely to date men because that would just be easier. 

Erasure goes both ways and it’s really annoying. My girlfriend’s bi, and whenever she’s dated men, everyone just assumes/calls her straight. Now that she’s with me, people assume she’s gay, and it’s super frustrating because being bi is a huge part of her identity, but she constantly has to decide whether or not she feels like explaining that to people. It’s also incredibly frustrating for her when people treat her as though the relationships she has had with men don’t matter simply because she’s with me now. Those are still important parts of her life and they shouldn’t be discounted just because she’s dating a girl now. Seriously, let bi girls date men, and don’t treat them like they’re any less queer because of it.

Also, stuff like “don’t say you’re butch if you’re bi,” which seem to be new things–I’d definitely never heard them before Tumblr.

I get that some lesbians are uncomfortable with community shifts. In some ways, so am I! And I don’t really care what anyone calls me, honestly, just what they want me to call myself.

But the message I get from that as a bisexual person is some weird sort of

“Only women who like only women are masculine enough. If you also like men, you must turn into feminine submissive Cinderella for them. Because no woman could possibly love women as much as she loves men.”