Doctors are less likely to believe black women are in pain-and that can have fatal consequences, particularly for disabled black women and their newborns.
I just learned about the “Husband Stitch” a few days ago and i’m still fucking mortified. Women’s bodies do not exist for the pleasure of their boyfriends or husbands.
Doctors who perform this procedure without the consent of the pregnant person are evil misogynists, undeserving of the privilege of working with pregnant women and other people.
Oh my god, nooooo.
If this is done incorrectly (and yes, I know someone this was done incorrectly to) it makes sex really uncomfortable, like realllly uncomfortable, and can require follow-up surgery to fix. The person I know who this was done to ended up with the, uh, outside getting the ‘husband stitch’ but the inside… not? So she ended up with a little ‘lip’ of tissue that would get seriously irritated during sex, and over a decade later had to have another doctor go back in and snip that ‘extra stitch’ open.
I was first introduced to the husband stitch in 2014, when a friend in medical school told me about a birth her classmate observed. After the baby was delivered, the doctor said to the woman’s husband, “Don’t worry, I’ll sew her up nice and tight for you,” and the two men laughed while the woman lay between them, covered in her own and her baby’s blood and feces. The story terrified me, the laughter in particular, signaling some understanding of wrongdoing, some sheepishness in doing it anyway. The helplessness of the woman, her body being altered without her consent by two people she has to trust: her partner, her doctor.
So many people don’t even know what this is. The Wikipedia article on the husband stitch was published this month.
Just adding my voice that this is indeed real and it was done to me. I haven’t enjoyed sex since I had my son and honestly I’m concerned about having a second child because I was so “small” the first time around I ended up with 3rd degree tearing.
Yes I have that same lip and the only reason I never went back to get it fixed is the conception/birth was so traumatic I couldn’t bring myself to be touched like that by doctors for years.
Just, be aware and let someone advocate for you when you’re in labor. Ask your OBGYN their thoughts on this and choose carefully.
I’ve heard of some really fucked up forced birth malpractice of doctors. Sharing for awareness. This is more fucked up than circumscision. This is as fucked up as doctors returning your baby to you with a botched circumcision after you made it clear they are absolutely not to circumsize him (which yes, has also happened, which helps me to believe some doctors are fucked enough to do these things). Doesn’t matter if you’re a feminist or not, this is a human rights issue by any standard. (I don’t know anything about the organization advertising itself here, not endorsing or condemning it). Share for awareness. Medical treatment to requires consent, because the second it doesnt, some really fucked up shit is possible, orders of magnitude worse than even this.
…I have questions, now
This looks like some serious shit.
My mom has a story similar to this about me.
When they found out I was going to have kidney issues (extra ureters, nothing lethal), a secondary doctor demanded my mom have me three weeks early. This was supposedly when my lungs would be ready enough to immediately go into surgery.
After 16 hours of labor, the original doctor was informed and told my mother how that was unnecessary since I couldn’t be operated on until 8 weeks anyway. My mother had me early for no reason, and they had to monitor my lungs just to be sure I was alright.
The secondary doctor also demanded weekly amniocentesis on me. Mom says you could see on the monitor me visibly distressed and wiggling away/trying to push away the needle. It got to the point where my mom grabbed the doc’s wrist and told her no more.
While not as violating as the stories mentioned above, I want to confirm this does happen and if you feel unsure about a doctor at any point that it’s not wrong to switch to one you feel better with. Pregnancy is a complicated thing and the last thing an expecting mother needs/deserves is to be mistreated.
Also Women I’ve seen talk about this often express it as “don’t medicalize birth”. But this kind of thing happens all over the hospital. And it shouldn’t happen to anyone. Ever.
I’ve heard of some really fucked up forced birth malpractice of doctors. Sharing for awareness. This is more fucked up than circumscision. This is as fucked up as doctors returning your baby to you with a botched circumcision after you made it clear they are absolutely not to circumsize him (which yes, has also happened, which helps me to believe some doctors are fucked enough to do these things). Doesn’t matter if you’re a feminist or not, this is a human rights issue by any standard. (I don’t know anything about the organization advertising itself here, not endorsing or condemning it). Share for awareness. Medical treatment to requires consent, because the second it doesnt, some really fucked up shit is possible, orders of magnitude worse than even this.
…I have questions, now
This looks like some serious shit.
My mom has a story similar to this about me.
When they found out I was going to have kidney issues (extra ureters, nothing lethal), a secondary doctor demanded my mom have me three weeks early. This was supposedly when my lungs would be ready enough to immediately go into surgery.
After 16 hours of labor, the original doctor was informed and told my mother how that was unnecessary since I couldn’t be operated on until 8 weeks anyway. My mother had me early for no reason, and they had to monitor my lungs just to be sure I was alright.
The secondary doctor also demanded weekly amniocentesis on me. Mom says you could see on the monitor me visibly distressed and wiggling away/trying to push away the needle. It got to the point where my mom grabbed the doc’s wrist and told her no more.
While not as violating as the stories mentioned above, I want to confirm this does happen and if you feel unsure about a doctor at any point that it’s not wrong to switch to one you feel better with. Pregnancy is a complicated thing and the last thing an expecting mother needs/deserves is to be mistreated.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 