toopuretobepink:

spicychestnut123:

miss-malaphor:

haiku-robot:

hermoninee-granger:

oniongentleman:

steftastan:

maverikloki:

penbrydd:

leonawriter:

everylineeverystory:

soggywarmpockets:

rnatthewgraygublers:

melancholicmarionette:

emmablackeru:

tassiekitty:

ranetree:

extravagantshoes:

cellostargalactica:

IT’S NOT ‘PEEKED’ MY INTEREST

OR ‘PEAKED’

BUT PIQUED

‘PIQUED MY INTEREST’

THIS HAS BEEN A CAPSLOCK PSA

THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY USEFUL THANK YOU

ADDITIONALLY:

YOU ARE NOT ‘PHASED’. YOU ARE ‘FAZED.’

IF IT HAS BEEN A VERY LONG DAY, YOU ARE ‘WEARY’. IF SOMEONE IS ACTING IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU SUSPICIOUS, YOU ARE ‘WARY’.

ALL IN ‘DUE’ TIME, NOT ‘DO’ TIME

‘PER SE’ NOT ‘PER SAY’

THANK YOU

BREATHE – THE VERB FORM IN PRESENT TENSE

BREATH – THE NOUN FORM

THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE


WANDER – TO WALK ABOUT AIMLESSLY

WONDER – TO THINK OF IN A DREAMLIKE AND/OR WISTFUL MANNER


THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE (but one’s mind can wander)

DEFIANT – RESISTANT
DEFINITE – CERTAIN

WANTON – DELIBERATE AND UNPROVOKED ACTION (ALSO AN ARCHAIC TERM FOR A PROMISCUOUS WOMAN)

WONTON – IT’S A DUMPLING THAT’S ALL IT IS IT’S A FUCKING DUMPLING

BAWL- TO SOB/CRY

BALL- A FUCKING BALL

YOU CANNOT “BALL” YOUR EYES OUT

AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE, IT’S NOT “SIKE”; IT’S “PSYCH”. AS IN “I PSYCHED YOU OUT”; BECAUSE YOU MOMENTARILY MADE SOMEONE BELIEVE SOMETHING THAT WASN’T TRUE.

THANK YOU.

*slams reblog*

IT’S ‘MIGHT AS WELL’. ‘MIND AS WELL’ DOES NOT MAKE GRAMMATICAL SENSE.

SLEIGHT – DEXTERITY, ARTIFICE, CRAFT (FROM ‘SLY’)
SLIGHT – VERY LITTLE, FRAIL, DELICATE

IT’S ‘SLEIGHT OF HAND’.

CAN I ADD TO THIS TOO?

IT’S NOT ‘COULD OF’, THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER. IT’S ‘COULD HAVE’. SAME APPLIES TO ‘SHOULD HAVE’.

And this is why my students look at me as though I’m the devil when I try to tell them that no i’m not lying this really is a thing

IT’S ‘COULDN’T CARE LESS’ NOT ‘COULD CARE LESS’ IF YOU COULD CARE LESS THAT MEANS YOU CARE

it’s ‘couldn’t care less’ not
‘could care less’ if you could care
less that means you care


^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

Please check out Homophones Weakly.

It’s a treasure trove.

And a goddamn delight.

I laughed so hard

as a person whose native language isn’t English, I truly appreciate this

birdblogwhichisforbirds:

thehappypigeon:

wetleavesandfeathers:

coelasquid:

Cute little animals are under the misinformed impression that looking cuter and fluffier will make you want to touch them less.

[Image Description: A cartoon of a person’s hand reaching toward a small parrot who is puffed up with mantled wings. The parrot’s speech bubble says, “Don’t touch me! I’m big!”

Like this

@argumate

elodieunderglass:

(long pointless comic post, press J to skip)

The following post was angrily dumped in my notes a few months ago, authored by an 18-year-old who is absolutely convinced that they know how the American economy works better than I do, and wanted to shout at me about it. I began to respond to it a few times, but I felt that it wasn’t kind or productive to burn the poor kid down when I have a platform, and they clearly had a lot on their minds, and as the responsible adult in the situation I should really offer them gentle kindness and guidance instead. But it was so funny. And they came to my house to shout at me.

So I’ve posted their post below, divorced of context (so they can divorce themselves from the post, as they almost certainly would like to do in the cold light of day) because I thought the comic I produced in response had a certain Absurd Fascination.

image
image
image
image

image
image
image

(LISTEN if we all had multiple adults in every household CAN YOU IMAGINE how we could SPREAD THE PENSION RISK)


image
image
image

image

image