Lesbians that complain about bi women dating men instead of them are officially the “nice guys” of biphobia.
“Why would she date a smelly BOY when she could date me instead? I’d treat her so much better than any man could! I don’t understand what she could possibly see in a MAN!”
if u say this shit, imma leave u for a man immediately. the first one on sight. period.
The same applies to gay men that complain about bi men dating women instead of them.
The same applies to anyone who complains about someone dating someone other than them. Just. Don’t, k? Don’t.
“So-and-so identity I’m prejudiced against is gonna use up all the LGBT resources!” like this is fuckin Age of Empires II or some shit
Reblog if you can’t build any more castles or upgrade your longbowmen because some sneaky asexuals are camping on all the wood and stone
But the LGBT movement DOES have resources. Campaigning funds. Charity funds. Credibility. And it’s being wasted on a redundant movement of people no-one could give two shits about. Take the resources away from the ‘UwU no-one thinks we’re VALID’ asexuals and give it to the gays and bisexuals that get abused, discriminated and killed
okay, but have you considered:
the entire fucking point is that we are a movement entirely composed of “people no-one could give two shits about”. that is why we are abused, discriminated against, and sometimes killed.
“people no one could give two shits about”, especially when the lack of concern for them is directly tied to who they will or won’t fuck, is exactly who those resources are for.
and every time we grow the movement, and get more people, we also get more resources. strength in numbers. unity. solidarity.
it fucking works, man. since i was a kid, we went from “it’s not obvious that killing these people should be considered a crime” to recognition of marriage, most or at least a lot of health coverage and medical standards of care covering transitioning, and so on. it’s working.
and when i mentioned “asexuals” to some coworkers, one of them said “holy shit there’s a word for that? that’s me!” and now a programmer who has a decent salary and no kids to spend it on thinks of us as his people and wants to support LGBT things because he feels like that’s his problem, not someone else’s problem.
for future advocacy: please consider the possibility that, in a community full of people many of whom were homeless in their mid teens because no one could give two shits about them, dismissing people on the grounds that you don’t personally think anyone should care about them is actually a bad look.
also, being jealous because not every birthday party is YOUR birthday party is not cute after you turn three.
“Obviously ‘bihet’ offends a lot of bisexuals, so we need to come up with a better term for bisexuals in m/f relationships.”
How about… and hear me out… this may sound crazy…. but you… continue to call us bisexual… because (and I realize this gets confusing for you people so read this next part slowly) it turns out we continue to be bisexual regardless of who we’re dating.
Okay, this shit gets me all heated up. I’m just a cisgay dude up in here, but I have Some Opinions about this nonsense.
Bisexual people in relationships with folks of the other gender are not only themselves still bisexual (I’m really ashamed of a bunch of all that this shit even needs to be said, like c’mon), but their relationships are queer.
Yes, I just said that straight people can be involved in queer relationships without they themselves being queer.
The reason for this is simple: folks who are in relationships with queer people will always have to deal with their partner’s marginalization impacting their relationship. Always. Even if their bisexual partner chooses to be entirely stealth about their queerness (and that’s their right, by gods, fight me about it), their relationship is still impacted by that very choice existing. It’s a facet heterosexual relationships never have to negotiate.
Frankly, bisexual folks have to deal with active marginalization from multiple angles: heterocentrist and homocentrist. And in case I actually have to say this aloud? We should not be fucking marginalizing our own, y’all. That makes you a bad person, and you should feel bad.
To sum up: Bisexual folks are queer as hell. Straight folks can be in queer relationships without themselves ever being queer. And FFS please stop harassing bi- and pan-folks already, man. It’s 2018. Find hobbies that are not shitty.
A conversation on the fluidity of terms, and how to understand and have a productive conversation with a shifting generational gap in trans terminology.
No, I’m sorry, that’s simply not true. I’ve written an awful lot about this, which you can find under my ‘ace exclusion’ tag. But since there’s a lot under there, let’s hit all the highlights. Frankly, it’ll be nice to have an omnibus post I can just pass to people from now on.
This post is not an argument of your point, it is a reference post, because you are simply wrong.
This post is going to be very, very long, and very, very US-centric. It is important to state right up front that this discussion is extremely Western-centric. I do not have the right personally to speak on gender and sexual orientations from indigenous communities of which I am not a member, but it is absolutely important to acknowledge that the colonization of gender and sexual identity of non-Western peoples is a) wrong as fuck and b) we need to knock it off and c) none of the stuff I’m writing necessarily applies to non-Western peoples/indigenous peoples.
1) This ‘formed to fight homophobia and transphobia’ definition of LGBT is literally and completely an invention of Tumblr. It started on Tumblr, it really only exists on Tumblr, and it only exists for the sole purpose of excluding minority sexualities and orientations (not limited to but currently focused on asexuality). It’s a very recent invention and this specific definition is less than eighteen months old. Probably less than a year old, but I’ll be honest: I don’t have the time or patience to go through the history on Tumblr and read all the hateful stuff that I’d have to in order to find the first use of that particular little piece of nonsense.
I’m gonna keep on reblogging things like this until the faux-historical “But this is why the community was created!” misinformation stops being disseminated.
Can we just.. leave lesbians who don’t date bi girls… alone? I’ve seen to many people complaining about it and honestly, who cares, leave them alone lmao
uh no?? perhaps we as lesbians should…. u know…. address the issues in our community, one of which can be biphobia. ignoring prejudiced members of our community does not make them less prejudiced.
“Who cares?” – someone who’s literally never spent a single moment considering the thoughts or feelings of bi women
I literally do not know what goes through people’s minds that they must defend the right to get all up in someone else’s business about their personal arbitrary boundaries around dating and sex, even when those boundaries are based on silly assumptions. It literally makes you a creep if you decide it’s okay to bother someone about the bad policy choice they are making by being super picky about who they sleep with.
There is no reason to care! There is, I promise you, no connection between being willing to be in a sexual relationship with someone and having a sense of solidarity with them as part of an oppressed community.
There is, I promise you, no connection between being willing to be in a sexual relationship with someone and having a sense of solidarity with them as part of an oppressed community.
As demonstrated by a huge number of straight men
I don’t think anyone is trying to force OP to sleep with bi women I think people may be trying to get them to examine just what quality they think all bi women everywhere share that disqualifies them from the dating pool. The important part there isn’t “disqualifies them from the dating pool” it’s “assumption about all bi women everywhere.”
If people like OP just quietly didn’t date anyone with x characteristic no one would get on their case. It’s the constant shouting about how you’re unattractive/unsafe/disgusting based on x marginalized factor of your identity that gets to people.
i just saw someone completely seriously, without a hint of irony, refer to it as “Q-slur Eye” and my intestines started melting like so many Salvador Dalí clocks
I’ve seen “don’t call the show Qu**r Eye if you’re a cishet and can’t reclaim the q-slur” so nothing surprises me anymore.
“Don’t normalize this word that people fought really hard to normalize! Let it keep its oppressive power because I don’t understand queer history”
God I literally fucking hate this rhetoric. It’s exclusionary, gatekeepy, TERFy, and supports a totally revisionist queer history that erases so many marginalized people, especially people who are marginalized on multiple axes.
“LET IT KEEP ITS OPPRESSIVE POWER BECAUSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND QUEER HISTORY”
Wow that really sums it up.
I lived through the “take back the word queer” movement, so let me further sum it up
The entire point was to strip the word of the power to hurt us. We embraced it by refusing to be offended by it. We were saying “you can’t hurt us with that word, we now feel empowered when we hear it.”
During this time I saw an interview with a gay man who’d been arrested while wearing a “We’re Here, We’re Queer, Get Used To It” t-shirt. He was put into a holding cell with other detainees who tried to verbally abuse him. They started out by calling him queer but after seeing his t-shirt, and him not reacting to that word, they started stumbling over their words trying to find a name to call him. They finally settled on repeatedly calling him a “sissy” which, by the late 90s, had become a very out-dated slur toward queer men and was a laughable effort by these hyper-masculine and sexist bullies
When they tried to call him a queer it had no power because embracing the word, no matter who said it, had taken away that power
tl;dr We took back the word Queer with the intent of it no longer having the power to hurt us, but people now calling it the Q-slur are giving power back to the people who hate us
^^^^^^^^^^
ever since got into disability pride, whenever people start throwing around “retard” have just started accepting it and asking what is wrong with it. it’s really interesting watching them try and make the insult work.
i just saw someone completely seriously, without a hint of irony, refer to it as “Q-slur Eye” and my intestines started melting like so many Salvador Dalí clocks
I’ve seen “don’t call the show Qu**r Eye if you’re a cishet and can’t reclaim the q-slur” so nothing surprises me anymore.
“Don’t normalize this word that people fought really hard to normalize! Let it keep its oppressive power because I don’t understand queer history”
God I literally fucking hate this rhetoric. It’s exclusionary, gatekeepy, TERFy, and supports a totally revisionist queer history that erases so many marginalized people, especially people who are marginalized on multiple axes.
“LET IT KEEP ITS OPPRESSIVE POWER BECAUSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND QUEER HISTORY”
Wow that really sums it up.
I lived through the “take back the word queer” movement, so let me further sum it up
The entire point was to strip the word of the power to hurt us. We embraced it by refusing to be offended by it. We were saying “you can’t hurt us with that word, we now feel empowered when we hear it.”
During this time I saw an interview with a gay man who’d been arrested while wearing a “We’re Here, We’re Queer, Get Used To It” t-shirt. He was put into a holding cell with other detainees who tried to verbally abuse him. They started out by calling him queer but after seeing his t-shirt, and him not reacting to that word, they started stumbling over their words trying to find a name to call him. They finally settled on repeatedly calling him a “sissy” which, by the late 90s, had become a very out-dated slur toward queer men and was a laughable effort by these hyper-masculine and sexist bullies
When they tried to call him a queer it had no power because embracing the word, no matter who said it, had taken away that power
tl;dr We took back the word Queer with the intent of it no longer having the power to hurt us, but people now calling it the Q-slur are giving power back to the people who hate us
This week I had a lovely conversation with an older dyke who reminded me how much a lot of people have always hated TERFs and SWERFs.
She was talking about the time in the 1970s and 1980s when she was a young radical dyke and how many of the awesome dykes in the radical scene were trans women. So I asked her if there was ever any problem with TERFs and SWERFs. She didn’t know those words so I described them. Her reply was (paraphrasing a longer conversation):
“Oh, you mean the political lesbians? That’s what we called them at the time, no one really considered them radical. They hated everyone. They hated bisexual women who dated men. They hated us leather dykes and kinky dykes because they thought we were ‘copying the patriarchy’, they hated trans women. None of us in the radical scene liked them. A lot of them later left and admitted that they were straight but were presured to identify as lesbians in that group because being a feminist to them meant cutting all ties with men. They were like a cult. They often lived together and if you didn’t walk the political line you were dead to them. Intense stuff.
”
And like, I know her memories don’t have global relevance and there have also been places where TERFs had a much more prominent impact on the local radical women’s community, but still, to hear how despised these TERFs have always been by these truly radical dykes cheered me up a lot.
You mean to tell me, that hating TERFs is literally lesbian culture?
Jup, and actually it has been since TERFs first got started.
TERFs began to colonize the RadFem identity as early as 1973 at Radical Feminism’s biggest event: the West Coast Lesbian Conference. The conference was specifically trans-inclusive, but TERFs disrupted the event, demanding that trans attendees be removed. TERF icon Robin Morgan incited violence by telling the TERFs to “deal with” a trans women who was known to be in attendance.
When a group of TERFs tried to physically assault the trans woman, Radical Feminists stepped in to protect the trans woman. Instead of beating the trans woman, the TERFs instead beat the Radical Feminists. After the TERF violence, the conference still voted to remain a trans inclusive space, but the trans woman left the conference
voluntarily to avoid further TERF violence and disruption to the conference.
Perhaps the most iconic Radical Feminist institution was the Lesbian Separatist music collective, Olivia Records. This collective is largely responsible for the rise of women’s music movement of the 1970s. The Collective was trans-inclusive and even helped trans women access trans medical care. TERF icon, Janice Raymond discovered this and began a campaign against Olivia and the trans member of the Collective. This resulted in numerous death threats to the Radical Feminist members of the collective and credible armed death threats against the trans woman. Moreover, TERFs threatened to financially destroy Olivia Records for being trans inclusive with a boycott.
Even though Olivia voted to remain a trans-inclusive space, the trans woman left the Collective to avoid further TERF violence and disruption to the Collective.
[…]
Most of the media coverage around the MWMF casts this as a RadFem/Lesbian/Woman vs Trans issue. It’s not. The MWMF has come to represent a more nuanced struggle between TERFs who target both Radical Feminists and trans people in the name of Radical Feminism. The evidence reveals that almost from the start, the chances were that “there is still a better than 999 in 1000 chance that most Festigoers would welcome trans women”.
Moreover, the evidence reveals that the most iconic Radical Feminist institutions were designed to be trans-inclusive, until TERF violence forced trans people to choose between their own safety, the safety of Radical Feminists, the institution itself and leaving the space. As has always been, TERF aggression comes wrapped in the guise of Radical Feminism, for the purpose of colonizing Radical Feminism.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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