I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:
If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count
I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.
Actual advice! Just yeet a goose
The fact OP has done this more times that they can count is either evidence it works tried-and-true, or evidence OP picks fights with geese A LOT.
i am sitting on the couch, i hear tapping on the door behind me, i turn around and see this
what do i do
he is here….
i still lose it every time i see this post because someone let a fucking goose into their house just because tumblr said to and if that doesn’t perfectly define all of our experiences on this shitty excuse for a website i dont know what does
This is the Goose of Outrageous Self Assuredness. Take from her example, her ludicrous and excellent poise in the face of bullying, and be confident in your place, your course, your equal validity.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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