Mamoudou Gassama, a 22-year old Black man from Mali, without hesitation
scaled four stories of a Paris building to save a toddler facing certain death. Mamoudou is an undocumented immigrant. He knew getting caught would mean deportation.
But instead, France has a new hero. President Macron thanked him, granted him French citizenship plus a job at the French fire brigade.
Look, this is a bit embarrassing, but I’m afraid that I’m a fully-paid-up honest-to-goodness barmitzvahed-and-circumcised Jew myself. And while I would, of course, like sympathisers and money, I most certainly do not want yours.
Also, it’s spelled ‘voluntary’.
Wow.
Imagine thinking something like this How repulsive How awful to have to read it. Much better and calmer response than I would have had.
today i had a man tell me, in all earnest, that i obviously wasn’t very good at my classical studies degree because zeus only had one son, hercules – his source was the disney movie hercules
the balls aren’t censored but something up there is and I’m scared to know what’s more graphic than a set of balls is there a severed, actual, human, dick, on the back of that truck
this is the first image i tried to draw for this blog and its so fucking dark sided that i cant capture it properly at all NOTHING ive tried can portray the deep seated panic & discomfort i feel when i see it
name this cartoon idea
realy really good
This may have already been added, but in Brazil there was an urban legend that Fofao dolls contained a secret murder knife and it’s based on a half-truth about their components:
Oh, that doesn’t even scratch the surface! Fofão (you pronounce it like foh-fah-oom) is… a cultural icon. You probably won’t find a single Brazilian person who doesn’t know who he is, though he hasn’t been on television for decades, and this is because his whole existence is cursed. Cursed, cursed, cursed. I’ll explain:
Back in the early 80s, there was an educational children’s show called A Turma do Balão Mágico (lit. The Magic Balloon Gang. So eighties.) that was pretty much a Sesame Street knockoff and starred children interacting with puppets and people in costumes and learning wholesome lessons and singing songs. Fofão was one of the nonhuman characters, and he looked like the unholy offspring of Chucky from Child’s Play and a Troll Doll after getting stung by bees:
As you can see, the costume was pretty much just some kind of disturbing prosthetics stuck to some guys face and a wig. Those are real human eyes. Did I mention Fofão means “very fluffy”? I reckon it’s because of the jowls.
Anyway, Fofão became the most popular character of the show for some reason, getting himself a spin-off where he was the protagonist and… merchandise, one of these being those cursed dolls. It was then that a urban legend about it began to surface, and it said (get this) that whoever created Fofão had made a pact with the devil to achieve success and that the devil had instructed him to put a black dagger inside each doll that made whoever touched it become a murderer, or at least so went the version I know of. As it turns out, the dolls did have a weird structure to keep the head upright that was kind of shaped like a knife? You can imagine how prevalent this legend was. I was born a whole decade after Fofão’s show used to air and I was still scared I’d come across one of these dolls as a child.
After that, Fofão faded into obscurity, just to be brought back in the year of our lord 2015 after the existence of some… peculiar children’s birthday party entertainers came to light and rose to meme levels. They’re called Carreta Furacão (Hurricane Truck) and they’re basically people dressed up as mascots who take the birthday kids for a ride around town on a modified truck while they dance and do parkour, except they’re unusually prone to accidents, and for some reason they almost all happen with one of the dancers… who dresses up as Fofão, AKA the guy on OP’s picture. There are hundreds of videos dedicated to the Carreta Furacão Curse. Here’s one of them:
So… you draw your own conclusions. I, myself, am of the opinion that Fofão isn’t so much of a guy in a costume as he is a real life goblin that emerges from the darkness every 30-odd years to feed on the fear of children.
Wow, a true Bad Cartoon Idea for the ages
Going even further about this truly cursed character: these modified trucks with lights, sound boxes and mascots doing acrobatics have been common in Brazil, specially in small towns, where traffic isn’t an issue, and mostly from the late 90s to 2005 or so, but the mascots were usually from american media, and adapted through the years. At first you’d always see Mickey, Popeye, Donald Duck and such, and later with new movies and cartoons we started getting more Marvel superhero costumes and even Ben 10 – but for whatever reason Fofão has always been present.
What is even weirder about that is that most young kids are scared shitless of the Fofão costume (hell, I know I was), and most people, even the ones born in the early 90s, no longer remember Balão Mágico or TV Fofão, so they have no idea who this ugly clown is or where he came from – they just know people always dress like him for these truck rides and do sick wallrunning acrobatics.
did I ever tell you guys how I lost the most overtly religious friend I’ve ever had because she insisted I was hellbound over a pair of jeans
apparently not by your reactions SO let’s talk about emily
emily was catholic and found it really, really important that you knew that
she was discrete for the most part (sign of the cross before meals and blushing when the lord’s name was said in vain sorts of things) but she had a habit of berating people for politely declining her invitations to her church services and was sort of a pain in the ass about it at times but that’s beside the point
we were friends for about two and a half years
and then she borrowed a pair of my jeans.
now these jeans
were not just any pair of jeans
they were lucky brand jeans and the nicest jeans I owned at the time, but I was always cool with letting people borrow things when they really needed them
so this fateful day rolls around and emily is freaking out because she tore her skirt (as in straight up the back, mortifyingly torn) while we were out for coffee waiting for her other friend to pick her up because she was going on a weekend trip with this other friend’s (even more religious) family and her only other option was a pair of starchy pants that would absolutely suck to sit comfortably in for a five hour drive
so I do what any good friend would do and give her the extra pair of jeans I have in my car
which are my luckys
now I didn’t think anything of it and just assumed I’d done a great service here right
but flash forward three days
and she comes back
and doesn’t say
anything
just hands me the jeans
pivots
and walks away
so naturally I’m like??????????
so she proceeds to send me a text the next day saying that I made her look horrible to her friend’s mom because she nicely offered to wash the jeans before returning them and that’s right around the time I remember that Lucky brand jeans have a lovely little note on the fly
they look like this
and then you unzip them and
so that’s the story of how my catholic friend stopped talking to me because I accidentally tainted her social life with my subtle sexual vicious trollop jeans
That is both terrible, and absolutely fucking hilarious
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
You must be logged in to post a comment.