there’s some assholes out there just letting their baby “cry it out”?
what the absolute fuck?
It’s a baby. It can’t fix its own problems. And it does, indeed, have problems they don’t just cry for no reason. Best case scenario you’re leaving a kid terrified and alone during its most formative years, more likely you’re risking serious health problems or even death by letting it sit in its own filth or starve or whatever because you can’t be bothered to take care of your fucking kid.
If you’re not willing to respond to a plea for help from somebody who is absolutely defenseless, you should not be anywhere near an infant. Put it up for adoption, hire a nanny, whatever, just don’t force them to rely on you for anything.
Oh yeah, that comes from this mentality people that have no idea of how to be oarents fall.
The “I’m not their slave and I won’t let them order me around” kind of mentality.
It’s really really dumb
Worse- these types of parents believe that their children requesting any kind of support, or expressing emotional responses, is a sign of manipulation. They’re a fucking infant. They can’t manipulate the colorful blocks yet, nevermind a whole human person.
Letting babies “cry it out” used to be common parenting advice, specifically meant to help babies sleep through the night better. My mum was advised to do it, but I remember her saying that she really struggled with it (I’m not sure if she ever wound up following it).
It’s not just bad parents who have terrible practices. First-time parents in particular can be prone to following bad advice through fear, particularly if the advice comes from authority figures.
Oh yeah, totally. I was pointing out the logical flaw of assuming that kids crying was for anything that wasn’t immediately necessary (even if that immediate necessity is “attention”) and kids crying is “bad” and “manipulative” and should be “trained out.” A lot of abusive parenting in general is obscured by ignorance, especially of power structures. For example: telling young boys not to cry, not helping them do things and letting them get hurt needlessly.
I was a baby with a lot of health problems (surprise!) who cried a lot, and the health provider that used to come to our house (a midwife I think) to see how my mother was doing, once told her to put me in the garage to let me cry myself out to “show the baby you won’t be dictated to”.
My mother never followed through with that particular suggestion, but the one time she let me “cry myself out” alone through the night on the advice of the midwife, she opened the nursery door to find me floppy and unresponsive. I was rushed to the hospital where I stayed for some weeks due to a viral infection that ravaged my immune system. After that my mother never let one of us “cry it out” ever again, despite the fact that doctors, nurses and midwives told her to do it again with my much sicker and disabled younger brother.
So yea, it’s ingrained in the system, particularly with older people who were raised by people who were also raised by people who believed that too much affection would “spoil moral character”. And it is some bullshit.
Also just to add, if you are feeding formula to your baby? Thank you for taking care of your child and making sure they get food. Breastfeeding while beneficial for some reasons, is not the only correct way to take care of baby, and people need to stop shaming parents for not breastfeeding. That shit is hard for some people, it can hurt and cause infections and the pressure they get put under to persevere with it to the point of drawing blood is horrible.
Don’t let people make fun of you for liking japanese culture.
I am living in japan right now and let me tell ya:
There are people here who can’t speak or understand English who play nothing but Missy elliot and ludacris, even in businesses like housing offices and restaurants.
There are people who have cowboy hats and dead cow skulls in their home because they idolize what they assume American homes are like.
There are people who learn English strictly through music videos and American television shows.
There are entire karaoke bars with english songs often sung by people who have no idea what the lyrics mean.
Japan often takes American shows like the powerpuff girls and make japanese versions of them.
They often mistake common Americans for celebrities. I have been mistaken for Micheal jordan, tiger woods, Shaquille o’neal, Tyler perry, and saddest of all: queen latifa.
The act of sprinkling English into your japanese sentences is considered cute and cool and is popular with teenagers. Bonus points if you happen to use it correctly.
Japanese stores sell shirts with english on them and people buy them not knowing that most of those word combinations are nonsense.
Don’t let someone shame you for singing an anime opening, using japanese in your sentences, wearing clothing with japanese on it, ect. If anything, this is just one more thing that you have in common with them.
The American/Japanese cultural exchange is so pure and wonderful and I love it so much
OK BUT RESONATE WITH THE SHIRT THING THOUGH
My Chinese relatives buy me shirts from China with English letters on them hoping I think it’s cool
I have a shirt that says “Hi Quality Uality”
It’s amazing
It happens alot.
And then what’s really great is Americans getting tattoos of Chinese characters thinking they mean one thing when they really don’t
Also a topic where the reverse happens.
lemme tell you..i have been in a grocery store in Japan and heard the unedited Get Low playin over the intercom..it was literally a Katt Williams moment
Oh, unsensored songs are pretty common.
I should not be hearing an unsensored ‘Magic Stick’ playing at a family restaurant.
And the best thing is when literally no one shows that they understand what is being said.
I was in a Chinese cafe one time and they had obviously put on their “fuck you” playlist. I mean, uncensored versions of Fuck You by Lilly Allen, Fuck You by Cee-lo Green, etc. No one else had any idea.
Oh, also, I got my favorite shirt ever in a little tchotchky store in Sichuan:
More
that last one got me holy shit.
i wish i had
never met you
TOUCH MY BUTT
then there would be mo need to imprese you
o need to want you.No naed for. loring you
No need tar crying over you.Noneed for
heartbreaks.No nead for paln oru tears.No
neard for forgoure promises .nead for
For every american teenager that is screaming the lyrics to their favorite anime opening, there’s likely at least 1 or 2 Japanese teens singing English profanities at a karaoke bar.
So, you may have seen the below- some of the text is chopped off- it also includes language about fat “strangling” organs (pretty sure, not a thing).
Where does this photo of a heart come from? It’s from a slide show about heart transplants, photo number 9.
The photo’s original text is below.
This is a healthy heart, being transplanted INTO a person who needs a heart transplant.
It is NOT a heart taken out of a dead fat person who died of Fat Heart, which is not a thing.
Fat haters lie. They do it all the time.
Never forget that.
This is the stupidest thing I’ve read in a long time.
Sure, “fat heart” isnt a thing but being obese does cause heart problems as the heart has to grow in order to pump more blood around the body which causes it to strain and struggle just for doing its job.
This is a real picture of a normal heart next to the heart of an obese person’s.
Why do people constantly want to encourage being obese despite the many health risks it carries?
Fat haters lie.
“Martti Tenhu, chief medical examiner in Helsinki, Finland, illustrates the differences between a normal human heart and one enlarged by alcoholism and high blood pressure. Covered in scar tissue, the enlarged organ is nearly twice the normal size. Such alcoholic cardiomyopathy weakens the heart so that it is unable to pump blood adequately.”
“Alcoholic cardiomyopathy is a disease in which the chronic long-term abuse of alcohol… leads to heart failure.”
The original photo is from the National Geographic and does not mention the size of the person who had the enlarged heart.
Fat haters lie.
For a group of people who yell about science all the time, they sure do love clipping off the actual text included with the original photos and replacing it with dishonest garbage.
If you take the time to double check their sources, this is basically how it always goes.
They will say anything to advance their bigotry. Don’t listen to them.
It’s ok to be fat!
Fatty Liver disease though really can be caused by being overweight.
Did you just pick a disease with the word “fat” in it? B/c that’s what it looks like you did.
According to Wikipedia, this is another disease that is caused by alcoholism among other things.
And according to this article by the NIH, hepatic steatosis is a disease that thin people get too.
So once again, we see that fat haters are liars.
Additionally- just randomly picking out a disease that has the word fat in the title does not in any way refute the fact that your buddies are liars.
That they remove the true text from photos and lie about what those photos actually show.
I love how THREE PEOPLE IN A ROW tried to lie or just picked something random to support their fatphobia.
i’m about to die of Fat Heart
Try to defend yourself against any of these I fucking dare you my grandma has diabetes high blood pressure and sleep apnea, ya know what else my grandma is? overweight. None of these diseases run in the family and she didn’t have them in high school when she wasn’t overweight. So try me try to say I’m lying about this shit I dare you
It’s not fat phobia it’s the truth of your disgusting life choices
There’s a lot to pick apart here:
1. You posted a totally unsourced, seemingly random image as your main arguing point. Cherrypicking much? Are fat people simply more likely to have them or are they DYING EN MASS because of this shit? Becaause there’s a big difference between “more likely” and “a self-inflicted disease that kills everyone.”
2. In what way does this disprove the point of the op-that the anti-fat meme was a lie and most of the responses were as well?
3. Not only is the grandma story entirely anecdotal, but you base it entirely on the idea that she magically gained all of these diseases because she became fat. You can’t even say like, the doctor said that, you just assume that correlation exists. And yeah, umm…most people tend to not have the same diseases when they’re in highschool as when they’re old LMAO.
4. Even if you were entirely right about all of hat-did you seriously just mock your own grandmother about her illnesses for the sake of an arguing point?
It always makes me sad when I see people talking like this about their own loved ones, like– how do you think your fat family and friends would feel if they knew you were being cruel about their size to “win” an argument with internet strangers?
Fat people are so dehumanized that this is how the people who supposedly love us, talk about us.
This happens all the time, and it’s really really sad.
How to lose an argument: pull a random picture off Google Image Search and use it against a person who has literally just demonstrated the ability to use Reverse Image Search.
This made me laugh. 😀
Hi, actual doctor here (well, eye doctor, but I treat diabetics regularly and did an entire report on obesity and diabetes to get my doctorate so I sort of know what I’m talking about maybe more than most of you), reminding you that correlation does not imply causation and we know that weight/obesity CORRELATE to hypertension, diabetes, and other diseases but there is no proof of cause. For every peer-reviewed study that says one causes the other, another says it doesn’t. I know because I’ve looked. I’d also like to remind people that, except in men over 55yo with known heart disease/heart risk factors, lowering cholesterol with statin medication does not lower all-cause mortality even though it lowers cholesterol numbers. Why do I bring this up? Because doctors will still put anyone on statin meds even if they don’t benefit from them statistically life-wise because the labs get better because the labs are more easily measurable and make us feel useful and make patients feel like they’re getting better care and doctors are taught in school this is the right thing to do. And doctors are taught the same thing about weight. Diabetic? High blood pressure? Anything wrong at all with the person in any way? Are they overweight? Make them lose weight! Might not help but it won’t hurt right? At least it’s a measurable thing that we know *correlates* to health outcomes and we can control it easier than we can control those other outcomes so let’s control it! It’s like pressing the “easy” button from Staples instead of doing real work! Never mind that “obese” is a useless classification based on outdated BMI equations that don’t take muscle mass, body shape, activity level, or other health factors into account. Nevermind that, despite that BMI is a useless measure, people who fall into “overweight” BMI tend to be healthier and live longer than those in the “normal” or “underweight” BMI categories. Nevermind that socioeconomic factors also correlate with both obesity and diabetes/hypertension/high cholesterol/stroke risk/increased all cause mortality and yet no one says “hey, I know you’re stressed and living paycheck to paycheck…maybe to help with your high blood pressure you should see a financial counselor at the local community center for some help” or “I know McDonald’s has a dollar menu and is quick and easy, but your blood sugar levels would be better if we could find you some healthier alternatives. Are there any local community gardens in your neighborhood?” We just want an easy solution to a problem and we all want someone to blame, so we all say “you made yourselves sick by making yourselves fat” and ignore the other 1000 things going on in this equation, including, again, the most basic tenant that correlation does not imply causation – and it’s no wonder that obesity and poor health correlate when you consider socioeconomic and stress risk factors.
What all of that wall of text is saying is: y’all literally have no idea what you’re talking about, you’ve clearly never done any more research than typing your biased searches into Google and getting your bias-confirmating answers back, and since doctors are also taught a lot of this bias you probably aren’t going to find better info unless you know how to read a peer-reviewed journal. And since, as it was already pointed out, y’all can’t figure out not to lie to someone who was clearly on a “I’m not buying your lying bullshit” streak already, I don’t think y’all can figure out peer reviewed science articles either.
My god, that woman cosplaying Lana from Archer is Lana. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a real life human being so perfectly portray a cartoon character. And she’s gorgeous.
I actually hesitated to reblog one otherwise excellent post a little while ago, very specifically because of that reference to the exploding emotional pressure cooker. As apt as that idea might be in a lot of cases, including my own life sometimes. Because that analogy got used against me when I was younger in ways that turned it very triggering.
I’ve talked some before about how some very serious misinterpretations of what was even happening led to some extremely harmful therapy and psych treatment in general when I was younger.
(Also very relevant there: some other good discussion of the problems inherent in parents/other adults in power being the real clients, with the open goal of “please fix this crazy kid and make them easier to live with ASAP!” Talk about built-in conflicts of interest and potential for abuse, which don’t seem to worry much of anybody who hasn’t ended up on the wrong end.)
Anyway, I landed in the psych system when I was 13, after a series of pretty spectacular meltdowns which were managed very, very badly. With apparently no connection made to all the previous ones that looked pretty much identical when I was a smaller kid–surely that was grown out by puberty to the point of total irrelevance, right? 😩 I say “smaller” for a reason, since being close to full adult size by then probably did not help matters at all.
My mother looked for a therapist, and we saw her once before I had another bad meltdown and New Therapist suggested I be locked up For My Own Good (and before my out of control behavior hurt somebody, yeah). That happened a couple times more over the next few years, and was a close thing many more times.
Now, early adolescence is pretty well recognized as a stressful time for kids in general. With loads of new stressors in their lives. Even if people are preferring to ignore factors such as bullying and (sometimes should-be super obvious) disabilities/neurodivergence. That gets used against too many other kids who are experiencing severe difficulties, to deny that anything unusual is going on at all and avoid looking at the situations causing them distress.
But, my mom did get professionals involved. Who promptly went for a bizarre combo approach: obviously nothing unusual is going on in this kid’s life now, but they’re also obviously doing the emotional pressure cooker thing and just generally coming across as Very Weird Indeed. Therefore, the explosions must be attributable to Severe Emotional Damage from one specific truly horrendous type of early childhood trauma ! 😵 (Which never actually happened, but hey.)
I’ve talked more about how that focus can turn abusive and gaslighty really fast. But, at least as harmful in a lot of ways?
Professional endorsement of the idea that nothing happening in your life right now really matters, except as it may pertain to The Real Problem. In fact, your perceptions and reactions must be skewed enough that whatever you say about what’s bothering you/how you feel cannot be trusted.
(Oh, and it’s obvious that the people paying us have nothing to do with any problems you may be experiencing. May not always be totally conscious, but it really should not be discounted as a potential motivation.)
If you’re angry about anything that’s currently happening? It’s misplaced at best, and likely a sign of severe emotional damage. There is absolutely nothing to get upset about now. It’s all The Crazy.
Not too surprisingly, a lot of extremely stressful things were going on then, or I wouldn’t have started into that cluster of spectacular meltdowns at all. That included my mother’s extremely volatile and sometimes outright abusive behavior–which they did see in action some. And excused/enabled, because out of control severely mentally ill kids.
But yeah, nothing worth mentioning could possibly be going on then and there.
Plenty to try to sort through later, yeah. It’s been almost 30 years since I was introduced to the added psych abuse, and more fallout still keeps coming up.
Another post that’s not intended as a “poor me!” type deal at all, BTW. I am mainly talking about this at all now because I do expect that once you get beyond the specific details? That’s not nearly as unusual an experience as it should be. And it doesn’t get talked about enough, difficult as the subject can be.
It’s just particularly nasty when actual professionals get in on the invalidation and gaslighting. They’re set up to do plenty of damage, and with even less accountability.
A conversation on the fluidity of terms, and how to understand and have a productive conversation with a shifting generational gap in trans terminology.
The easiest way to deal with this is the same as the easiest way to approach all the newer labels and identities:
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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