On Dec 6, 1989, at 5:10pm, a man with a gun a hunting knife, and a vendetta against feminists walked into École Polytechnique, and killed 14 women, and injuring 14 others, in what is known as the École Polytechnique massacre, and the worst gun-reated mass murder in Canada . He separated the men from the women in the classes he attacked, and only shot the women. Within 20 minutes, he turned the gun on himself so he could take an easy way out. The École Polytechnique massacre happened 26 years ago today. That man’s name means nothing but murder and death, so we will not give him the courtesy of granting him media attention. Instead, let us remember the victims, women who were in school to learn, who had hopes and dreams, family and friends, lovers and loving personalities. Let us remember
Geneviève Bergeron (born 1968), civil engineering student
Hélène Colgan (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Nathalie Croteau (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Barbara Daigneault (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
Anne-Marie Edward (born 1968), chemical engineering student
Maud Haviernick (born 1960), materials engineering student
Maryse Laganière (born 1964), budget clerk in the École Polytechnique’s finance department
Maryse Leclair (born 1966), materials engineering student
Anne-Marie Lemay (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
Sonia Pelletier (born 1961), mechanical engineering student
Michèle Richard (born 1968), materials engineering student
Annie St-Arneault (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Annie Turcotte (born 1969), materials engineering student
Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz (born 1958), nursing student
And all of the students who committed suicide after the massacre.
Nous souviendrai vous. Pour les frères, et soeurs, les mamans et les papas, je suits très desolé, je presenté mes condoléances 💖
Ever since that one guy I was playing D&D with called me a “petulant whore”, it’s been the preferred pet name by my inner circle. We call each other that over everything. Yelling at each other over games, greeting each other in the morning, complimenting each other’s accomplishments.
And the guy who originally called me that just found out and wrote me a very long, angry e-mail about how I was supposed to be insulted, and how dare I turn his words around like that.
I’ve been laughing over this for hours. Dude, get a grip.
Men so fragile.
this is the best reaction to casual misogyny ever, I want to high five OP
I think women in authority who don’t understand neurodiverse children are particularly pissed when it’s a girl, because they expect certain behavior from boys and a girl acting that way, well hell, she isn’t being her gender the right way and that’s just a personal insult to women everywhere somehow.
I’ve told this story before but it’s relevant so I’m telling it again:
As you all have noticed, I have a pottymouth. I’ve been trying to swear less because it’s both unprofessional and unbecoming of a gentleman, but I say the fuck word a lot. And I did this as a smol AFAB child, too, only I didn’t know any dirty words because I was a sheltered kid. I said ‘darn’ and ‘heck’ and ‘crap’ and ‘stupid’ and ‘moron’ a lot in the same way I say ‘damn’ or ‘hell’ or ‘shit’ or ‘fucking’ or ‘bastard’ these days.
Wellllll… when I was in school, especially middle and high school, the special ed teachers and paraprofessionals I had to work with Did Not Like That. They banned me from using any of the minced oaths I knew. And I mean any of them- . I can understand them telling me i’m not allowed to say ‘stupid’, but
I wasn’t allowed to say ‘heck’, for pete’s sake.
I started switching to fictional curse words, because I need to have something to put in the ‘curse’ word space- if I don’t have a way to quickly intensify a phrase, I can’t properly express myself. But even the fictional curse words quickly got banned. ‘D’arvit’, for example, sounded too much like ‘darn it’.
For a while, I had to resort to the phrase ‘oh, purple-spotted dalmatians’, because it was the only even remotely-curse-like thing I could get away with using. Eventually, I switched to French curse words, and used them until I was able to escape to the safety of homeschool.
People really don’t like neurodivergent girls being anything but sweetness and light. You’re supposed to be cute and childish and innocent, gentle little Helen Kellers ready to be taught by noble Annie Sullivans.
People forget that Helen Keller was always full of righteous anger.
It baffles me when people don’t think sexism in the medical field exists when doctors tried diagnosing me (and many other women with serious chronic illnesses) with modern day hysteria (which is now called conversion disorder and somatization disorder) multiple times without even considering other illnesses.
even after being diagnosed with fibromyalgia some doctors still used to say that it was all in my head and one doctor actually said “fibromyalgia is another form of hysteria and psychosomatic pain. That’s why most people diagnosed with it are women.”
the mental health specialists that I have seen are frustrated by this. They are tired of having patients with ME, Fibromyalgia and other similar chronic pain conditions getting referred to them. My psychiatrist who diagnosed my PTSD and anxiety told me that my main issue (the fibromyalgia) is a physical illness she cannot treated it as a mental illness (which is what the doctor wanted her to do) as mental illness treatments do not help to treat physical chronic pain and she said every time someone is referred to her with a chronic pain condition specifically for treatment relating to the pain it wastes both her and the patients time and takes appointments away from mentally ill people. Mental health treatment will not help chronic pain conditions because it they’re physical conditions that need to be treated as physical conditions.
misogyny is terrible in the medical field. i have had so many doctors be incredibly rude, unprofessional and sexist to me, to the point that i now have to bring my boyfriend to every appointment (as a masculine presence somehow gives more authority to a female patient). i have now been diagnosed with lupus (SLE) and a muscular skeletal pain disorder by a specialist. my previous GP would not refer me to said rheumatologist because he literally said it was all in my head despite many symptoms and positive blood tests. he had one look at my medical history, saw that i had struggled with depression in the past and made up his mind that I had psychosomatic pain without looking at anything else. when i asked for a referral, he said that he would not send me publicly (which means i would have to pay for it out of pocket which cost $450) and only so ‘that i could get peace of mind’ as he ‘thought there was nothing physically wrong” with me. there was and there is. he hindered my access to medically necessary help just because of his preconceived notion that the only thing wrong with women is their emotions and nothing else.
Getting (non-fibro/CFS/ME) diagnoses which would explain the symptoms doesn’t even necessarily stop this crap. Even after I finally got the lifelong celiac recognized as an autoimmune rather than psych issue as an adult, all the complications and deficiency symptoms –some of them potentially fatal–continued to get brushed off without any testing or referrals. Same with some diabetes complications so far.
If it involves pain, fatigue, and/or neuromuscular symptoms, no other explanation is even going to get considered at least half the time. Not to mention the consequences for people who are dealing with a mixture of chronic conditions, trying to get appropriate treatment for any/all of them.
You know how 1st world feminists get told that they don’t need feminism? They’re told that they should be glad they’re not “really oppressed” like the women in 3rd world countries. That things could always be worse.
You know what my mother tells me? She says I don’t need feminism because I should be glad I’m born in an urban city of Pakistan. She says, at least I wasn’t born in a rural area where girls are married off to men twice their age. That things could always be worse.
And our house maid, Shabana, who was married to her uncle at 15 and, at 18, has 2 children, she doesn’t even know what feminism is. She was told by her father that she should be glad her husband doesn’t beat her and hasn’t thrown tehzaab (acid) at her. That things could always be worse.
Am I the only one seeing a very disturbing pattern here?
OTHER PEOPLE HAVING IT WORSE IS A SHITTY EXCUSE NOT TO MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR EVERYONE
I remember reading Reading Lolita in Tehran, and one bit that really got me was the author talking about how she and some female friends were discussing the regime and someone said something like, “At least we’re not in Somalia or Saudi Arabia. We’re treated like queens compared to those women.”
Again, this is revolutionary Iran we’re talking about. The woman speaking was not allowed to leave her house without a head covering.
I live is Saudi Arabia (I’m Egyptian though) and I’m getting the same concept drilled into my head.
“At least you’re not living with the badou. You’d be forced to cover your face too and you’d not be able to leave the house without a ma7ram (a male relative/husband). You’d be like a prisoner there.”
Excuse you? I have to cover my hair and wear a black full-length abaya at all times and I’m not allowed to be seen with a non-relative male in public, risking banishment and whipping if I’m caught doing that, I can’t drive (that might change soon, although the restrictions on it are more sexist than the driving ban ever was), I can’t even buy my own SIM card because it has to be linked to a male’s Iqama (residency card) so Dad has to do that for me. My parents are subject to constant public admonishment because I wear coloured hijabs and my school’s dress code regulations include full-length sleeves, even in the middle of summer, shirts that cover the back of your pants and full-length pants or skirts – as in, not even showing the calves. Even though we’re in a separate building from the boys.
Gonna stop ranting here because this is getting too long but I hope I made my point sufficiently clear. Regardless of where you are or how much equality there is, feminism is always necessary for everyone.
A New Hampshire Republican State Representative anonymously created the “Red Pill” subreddit.
Wow.
these aren’t just bullshitter dweebs in their mom’s basements trolling the internet, these are men who formulate the way we implement laws and who govern the way we live our lives.
^^^ Hello, yes, everyone needs to see this. It’s not always a bunch of nobodies trolling around on 4chan. It’s, doctors, lawyers, judges, businessmen, bankers, law enforcement, etc. People who have pulls on society. They literally don’t see other groups besides themselves as human or equal
…holy shit like this is bad really really bad but so much clearly so if you’ve ever read the scum that floats to the top of the Red Pill. Like basically he was just outed as the creator of a neo-nazi misogynist pro-rape forum explicitly to recruit online loners and groom them like it’s EVERYTHING we’ve been saying these people do but this is like, the hive.
For the anon asking why not trust red pill guys
Fuck Conservatives
Fun fact: the Red Pill was 90% of the reason I left reddit. I think it’s important everyone understands why, without having to subject yourselves to actually looking at the subreddit.
The Red Pill is a confluence of gross misogyny, rape culture, and vile social darwinism, all tied up under the banner of it being the “truth” behind some grand lie that is PC culture; that is to say, taking the red pill to withdraw yourself from the Matrix, a metaphor nearly as dated as the ideals they espouse.
If you think I’m exaggerating, I’m not. I spent nearly two years on reddit before toxic bullshit like this drove me out. These people build an elaborate construct about treating women like property and sexualizing children because ~evolution~ programmed them to like it, and ~evolution~ can’t possibly be wrong, as though club-wielding Neanderthal brutes are something to aspire to and not something we left behind millennia ago.
They’ve created an incredibly detailed fantasy about how women are evolutionarily predisposed to react to certain behaviors of “alpha males” (another false equivalence; the theory of the alpha male comes from a since-disproved theory about wolf behavior), and how the trick to success in sex is about taking on these characteristics which, spoiler alert, explicitly encourage treating women like garbage.
I cannot overstate how incredibly toxic the Red Pill is and how disgustingly large the community became by the time I left reddit. I wish I could say I was surprised that a Republican senator founded it, but this is the kind of shit they’ve been legislating for years.
Why am I not surprised?
For all you god damn motherfucking doubters, this is not fake, sources include:
how is literally every sentence in this more amazing than the last
I am literally breathless with what-the-fuck.
I still don’t know what “incel” means but I don’t think I want to know at this point.
“Incel” means “involuntarily celibate.” It’s a bunch of guys who hate women and then blame women for the fact that they can’t get a date. As opposed to, ya know, the fact that they’re fucking creeps.
“likely a virgin by not of her smallness and shyness”
Uh….
Good news people, when you have sex for the first time, you get taller! That’s how that works. All short people are virgins. When a short person has sex for the first time, they grow to above average height overnight.
His whole weird theory about penis envy and children being sexually attracted to their parents and secret desires and all that shit actually came straight out of an attempt to ally himself with wealthy and influential rapists and was a direct form of victim blaming.
He had started the research looking into “hysteria” which at the time was really usually referring to women’s symptoms of PTSD. It turned out that the reason so many woman had these symptoms is because so many of them had experienced sexual violence– especially CSA and incest at the hands of their fathers.
At first he was making real progress, and it was through working with these women that he discovered that talk therapy could be used to treat trauma. The symptoms of PTSD were lessened when women were able to safely speak about their experiences out loud and be believed.
But it wasn’t the women who paid for the therapy. It was their fathers, husbands, the same men who were perpetuating the violence in the first place. And Freud didn’t want to validate his patients (the women) if it meant making his clients (the men) unhappy.
So he came up with a new idea. These symptoms weren’t from trauma. The memories weren’t real. These women were just sexual beings as children and had penis envy and it made them lust for their fathers and fantasize about the rape that they had reported to him. That’s where the shittiest parts of Freud’s theories emerged.
Another part of it besides just the monetary aspect, though, was that there was a feminist movement on the fringes starting up at the time and by publishing work about women’s CSA he would be aligning himself with it and therefore losing support, respect, funding, prestige from his male peers and from the psychological community at large. He literally made that gross victim blaming shit up to keep his own reputation with these fucks and to make sure he still got publication and fame.
By coming up with fake theory about little girls fantasizing about incest he not only fucked over generations of women, the feminist movement that was arising, and the entire psychology field for years to come, but he also completely swept away any progress made in understanding trauma and so we didn’t have any clue why men coming back from war had “hysteria” like women during WWI.
And our research on PTSD and trauma is still lacking to this day, especially because of the stigma that maybe traumatized people deserved it or wanted it or imagined it. People don’t want to believe it’s real. Perpetrators of traumatic violence want everyone to forget about it, not acknowledge it, or trivialize it.
And they have Freud’s cultural legacy to help them.
Can you provide academic citations for this? This is really neat.
If you want some more, just google, “Sigmund Freud Seduction Theory Problematic.” There’s lots of academic and non-academic discussion on the topic, but TLDR Sigmund Freud is basically disregarded in almost all aspects of psychology by anyone who actually cares about their patients, so fuck that guy for holding psychology back.
Words cannot express how much I hate Freud. His theories have been entirely disproven by current psychological research, but using him to interpret literary texts is still a widely accepted technique in the field of literary study today.
English departments across the country will not bat an eye at tenured professors bringing Freud into lectures and citing him in scholarly articles and books. Doing a “Freudian reading” of a literary character or theme is regarded as a valid means of understanding and drawing meaning from works by authors as diverse as William Shakespeare, James Joyce, and C.S. Lewis. And it is based entirely on this guy’s unbelievably sexist, flat-out fraudulent, and thoroughly disproven research. It’s insane.
I need people to listen to this, because although his methods might be of use, his entire theoretical work is just fucking lies and bullshit misogyny.
And more importantly (at least to me), it was an utter fucking tragedy and failure of courage. He had his reasons: he was a Jewish intellectual working in Vienna in his day and age. He was in a risky position, and I think that is important to recognize (especially in terms of talking about him vis any and every other subsequent theorist/etc in the field who wasn’t a Jewish man working in a hugely anti-semitic society, okay. *coughJungcough*). His choices were difficult.
But he was still then given the confidence and trust of a whole population of people who also marginalized – who had been hideously victimised and brutalised – and instead of finding solidarity with them and serving the truth, the truth he knew, he sided with their oppressors (who were, for the most part, also his, as they were mostly wealthy white Christian men of money and repute), and reaped the benefits.
And he did it in a way that revictimised the people who trusted him and led to years of further victimisation and harm, almost always of those who were already vulnerable, already victimised, as people were misled by his capitulation rather than led by what he had originally found – what we now know to have been true, but which we basically had to re-fucking-build from scratch through the rest of the century.
He was in a risky position, and he chose to bend to the status quo, to bow to the powerful, to betray the already violated women who trusted him, and set up generations of women of all backgrounds, and of young men, for further violation and betrayal and that’s a fucking tragedy.
And I think it’s important that all parts of that be known and considered, especially by those going into fields where they might have to make the same kinds of choices. Because it’s easy to condemn him outright, and don’t get me wrong: I think he failed his patients and he failed the field he started and left us with a huge fucking mess (and yes ye gods if I never have to fucking hear of “Freudian” analysis in literature again* it will be too fucking soon) but it is also important to remember, I think, that other part:
He was someone at risk in society, who was handed a very dangerous decision to make, that could have had serious consequences for him personally (beyond those of a European Christian man or intellectual) if he’d made the other choice, so he stuck with safety – and it still had all the consequences it had, and harmed all the people it did.
It’s something to think about, I think. Long and hard.
Also, to any men reading my posts who are horrified and want to know how they can help—offer to go with your female friends and relatives to appointments. Explain to them you’ve been reading about medical neglect towards women and let them know that if they ever want emotional support, you are there for them.
No, really, you have no idea how differently doctors react when there is a man in the room. Some female doctors will give ETD the side-eye and try to find ways to ask if I am okay (which, bless them) but once they are made aware that he is there at my request for emotional support, they are perfectly happy to have him there, and don’t talk to him unless I need them to.
Male doctors? Whole other ball game. They spot him sitting there and their whole demeanor shifts, and if they do talk over me to him, he quickly sets them right and doesn’t engage in their misogynistic comments, he just stares them down and steps in if he thinks I am being gaslighted, words and phrases like “is this the usual treatment for symptoms like this?” forces the doctor to explain usually what they’d do for him, at which point I am able to ask “so why am I not being sent for XYZ testing/why am I not being prescribed pain treatment?”
But also remember, you are there to be my ally, not to tell the doctor what you think is wrong with me, but to make them pay attention to me. Direct the conversation back to me, and if it’s not working, repeat exactly what I am saying and make them listen.
It’s entirely fucked up, but your mere presence could mean the difference between misdiagnosis and proper medical treatment.
And just because I am seeing it in the tags “#this shit doesn’t happen with female doctors” oh it absolutely fucking does.
Misogyny in the medical world is fucking ingrained. It’s in the very teachings of modern medicine.
Some of my worst gynecological experiences were at the hands of other women who thought I was bullshitting my pain levels when it comes to certain procedures and illnesses.
I’ve been told to “stop making a fuss” while I have screamed on the table from a speculum insertion (by the way, HUGE warning sign there is something majorly wrong with your muscle walls, pain upon insertion is not “normal” do not accept it if they tell you agony is normal upon insertion of anything) for a “routine” exam. And to give you some idea of my pain tolerance levels, I’ve had two root canals without anesthesia (cause
anesthesia doesn’t work for me) and I breathed deeply through them. I left nail marks in the chair and had to tap out a few times for a rest, but I’ve never screamed and shot out the chair like I was being murdered.
I’ve had female doctors tisk at my medical file and tell me I want to “get myself together”, like I’m having an autoimmune collapse for funsies. I’ve had female doctors tell me I “just need to have a baby” because that will “calm me down” and also “what does your husband thing of all this?”
Which speaking of, I’ve also had female doctors turn to my husband and say “wow you sure are good to be coping well with this” like eXCUSE YOU, HE’S NOT THE ONE WHOSE BODY IS EATING ITSELF ALIVE???!! BUT OKAY, SURE, I’M THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO “BE MORE POSITIVE AND TAKE A TYLENOL”. OKAY THEN. (also as an aside: if they do ask your male friend/loved one to leave the room to ensure your safety and you aren’t being controlled, remember to ask for him to be brought back in. Sometimes they “forget” and you’re left on your own again)
And all of this? All those things I posted up there? Those apply to white women as well.
Women of color and women with disabilities, are more likely to be neglected and gaslighted than cis white able bodied women are—and we (I use the term losely when it comes to able bodied re: myself, heh) already get the short end of the stick when it comes to appropriate medical care. Be aware of your fellow women (all your sisters, not just your cisters) and if you are in a position to offer help and go to appointments and sit in on exams, know that it would be greatly appreciated.
And again, remember, it is not your place to talk over your friend, this is not about you or what you think is wrong.
This is about you using your privilege by your mere presence alone, to make sure your friend is going to get adequate medical care, whether it’s pain management or diagnosis.
Be a witness and hold those in the medical industry accountable for their neglect and actions against the vulnerable. Because by gods no one else will.
@thebibliosphere, are you aware most doctors won’t allow someone else in the exam room? Sometimes even spouses? Even if the patient specifically and verbally allows it? At least, that’s how it works where I live, in the south-east USA.
Besides that, though, good advice.
Oh they can tell you they’re not Allowed but they’ve no legal leg to stand on. If you want someone in there with you, you are absolutely legally allowed to do so. If you explain why you want your spouse in the room with you (you don’t need to say “I don’t trust you” just “I want someone else here to remember things/I get nervous”) and they downright refuse to let your partner in with you? That’s a huge red flag to me.
The only doctors who downright refused to let ETD in the room with me were the ones who ended up being dangerous and abusive in their behavior and I stopped the exams to demand someone else be allowed in the room with me as is my legal right. They might not be behind the curtain with me but they are absolutely allowed to be in the room by US law, regardless of state.
If a medical professional pushes for someone to leave, that is a massive red flag and I will walk out. Any professional worth it wants their patient comfortable – and the only professionals who ever asked someone to leave with me have ended up being assholes.
The last time I agreed to send someone out of the room and be alone, I was then held down and sexually assaulted not a minute after they closed the door behind him. And all involved were women. I still remember in full them talking and laughing about having taught me a lesson and the shocked look on J’s face at the amount of blood on bed. Every case of medical abuse and neglect I’ve dealt with involved women professionals. At minimum for check-ups/tests with nurses/lower risk situations, I let them know I have someone in the waiting room that I may bring in if I feel I need help.
Also, to any men reading my posts who are horrified and want to know how they can help—offer to go with your female friends and relatives to appointments. Explain to them you’ve been reading about medical neglect towards women and let them know that if they ever want emotional support, you are there for them.
No, really, you have no idea how differently doctors react when there is a man in the room. Some female doctors will give ETD the side-eye and try to find ways to ask if I am okay (which, bless them) but once they are made aware that he is there at my request for emotional support, they are perfectly happy to have him there, and don’t talk to him unless I need them to.
Male doctors? Whole other ball game. They spot him sitting there and their whole demeanor shifts, and if they do talk over me to him, he quickly sets them right and doesn’t engage in their misogynistic comments, he just stares them down and steps in if he thinks I am being gaslighted, words and phrases like “is this the usual treatment for symptoms like this?” forces the doctor to explain usually what they’d do for him, at which point I am able to ask “so why am I not being sent for XYZ testing/why am I not being prescribed pain treatment?”
But also remember, you are there to be my ally, not to tell the doctor what you think is wrong with me, but to make them pay attention to me. Direct the conversation back to me, and if it’s not working, repeat exactly what I am saying and make them listen.
It’s entirely fucked up, but your mere presence could mean the difference between misdiagnosis and proper medical treatment.
And just because I am seeing it in the tags “#this shit doesn’t happen with female doctors” oh it absolutely fucking does.
Misogyny in the medical world is fucking ingrained. It’s in the very teachings of modern medicine.
Some of my worst gynecological experiences were at the hands of other women who thought I was bullshitting my pain levels when it comes to certain procedures and illnesses.
I’ve been told to “stop making a fuss” while I have screamed on the table from a speculum insertion (by the way, HUGE warning sign there is something majorly wrong with your muscle walls, pain upon insertion is not “normal” do not accept it if they tell you agony is normal upon insertion of anything) for a “routine” exam. And to give you some idea of my pain tolerance levels, I’ve had two root canals without anesthesia (cause
anesthesia doesn’t work for me) and I breathed deeply through them. I left nail marks in the chair and had to tap out a few times for a rest, but I’ve never screamed and shot out the chair like I was being murdered.
I’ve had female doctors tisk at my medical file and tell me I want to “get myself together”, like I’m having an autoimmune collapse for funsies. I’ve had female doctors tell me I “just need to have a baby” because that will “calm me down” and also “what does your husband thing of all this?”
Which speaking of, I’ve also had female doctors turn to my husband and say “wow you sure are good to be coping well with this” like eXCUSE YOU, HE’S NOT THE ONE WHOSE BODY IS EATING ITSELF ALIVE???!! BUT OKAY, SURE, I’M THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO “BE MORE POSITIVE AND TAKE A TYLENOL”. OKAY THEN. (also as an aside: if they do ask your male friend/loved one to leave the room to ensure your safety and you aren’t being controlled, remember to ask for him to be brought back in. Sometimes they “forget” and you’re left on your own again)
And all of this? All those things I posted up there? Those apply to white women as well.
Women of color and women with disabilities, are more likely to be neglected and gaslighted than cis white able bodied women are—and we (I use the term losely when it comes to able bodied re: myself, heh) already get the short end of the stick when it comes to appropriate medical care. Be aware of your fellow women (all your sisters, not just your cisters) and if you are in a position to offer help and go to appointments and sit in on exams, know that it would be greatly appreciated.
And again, remember, it is not your place to talk over your friend, this is not about you or what you think is wrong.
This is about you using your privilege by your mere presence alone, to make sure your friend is going to get adequate medical care, whether it’s pain management or diagnosis.
Be a witness and hold those in the medical industry accountable for their neglect and actions against the vulnerable. Because by gods no one else will.
@thebibliosphere, are you aware most doctors won’t allow someone else in the exam room? Sometimes even spouses? Even if the patient specifically and verbally allows it? At least, that’s how it works where I live, in the south-east USA.
Besides that, though, good advice.
Oh they can tell you they’re not Allowed but they’ve no legal leg to stand on. If you want someone in there with you, you are absolutely legally allowed to do so. If you explain why you want your spouse in the room with you (you don’t need to say “I don’t trust you” just “I want someone else here to remember things/I get nervous”) and they downright refuse to let your partner in with you? That’s a huge red flag to me.
The only doctors who downright refused to let ETD in the room with me were the ones who ended up being dangerous and abusive in their behavior and I stopped the exams to demand someone else be allowed in the room with me as is my legal right. They might not be behind the curtain with me but they are absolutely allowed to be in the room by US law, regardless of state.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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