Tag: no rebogs please

Time for another attack of feeling like a shitty absentee relative, but that’s been weird again with the holiday season anyway. Plus the recent anniversary of my mom’s death.

Crappy as I end up feeling about it sometimes, there are reasons I haven’t been in touch with my uncle and them for a while now.

But, whatever other problems I may have there? I really am glad that those kids are doing well. The “kids” who are both 25+ now, but old habits 🙄

I do end up feeling like a bigger fuckup by comparison sometimes, reminded by both of them probably having finished grad school by now. But, I am very glad they’ve had an easier time in some ways. Not only “just” not being as obviously disabled, but with a lot more support and resources to help them do stuff like succeed better in formal education. The financial security alone has no doubt helped immensely, but that’s only part of it.

My uncle may irk the hell out of me sometimes, but he and his wife have also done so much better at keeping a way more stable, non-abusive home environment going. A pretty big difference, right there.

And I am so glad for my cousins that they just have not grown up with some of the multigenerational shit affecting them as much. Hoping it’s stopped there for good.

clatterbane:

(What probably should be) minor freakout time again.

I got a letter ftom HSBC oh-so-helpfully requiring me to resubmit multiple forms of ID to them. Given the fact that it is apparently selective and the timing, I have my suspicions that it may indeed be related to the “hostile environment” garbage–if a bit sneakier than I would have expected. If nothing else, it may be a preliminary weeding step.

[New sections 40A to 40H of the Immigration Act 2014 (inserted via Schedule 7 of the Immigration Act 2016) will require banks and building societies to make checks on existing account holders if requested to do so by a specified body, and to notify the Secretary of State if the person may be a ‘disqualified person’ (basically, an irregular migrant).]

My status should be totally “regular”…and surely they never foul anything up. *hollow laughter*

Anyway, of course they’re requiring valid photo ID. Which of course I do not have access to right now. Guess I had better figure out a way to manage an embassy appointment to get a replacement passport sooner than later, never mind my health situation keeping me from doing it already.

Hell, I’m already not looking forward to trying to get to Snappy Snaps for US regulation passport photos–and that’s right in town. I’ve just been that close to housebound for over a year now.

I’m too stressed to check for the deadline right now, but I would not be surprised if it’s more hassle dealing with them, with it probably taking longer to get the passport.

(Even more pissed off right now about the DVLA losing my passport. Otherwise I would probably have both that and a driving license to choose from for the damned bank 😠)

I mean, I have been stressing over not having that for a while now. I really need a passport. But there have been legitimate problems with trying to remedy the situation. Having to keep telling myself that right now.

Hopefully it will be doable with cabs as close to door to door as possible. Mr. C will voluntarily hump luggage all the way through public transport to avoid taking a cab to/from the airport, and I really hope it won’t take much explaining why (a) that is just not going to work, and (b) I don’t feel safe handling the trip alone now even with more suitable transportation. Just not much patience, and hopefully there won’t be any static about it.

I cannot reasonably function with the good old cash under the mattress approach if they block my accounts. (Even assuming his aren’t next…) And I obviously can’t change banks now. That wouldn’t have worked without a valid passport, even before the government decided to get this nasty.

Not a lot of good options here. And this is just too much on top of pretty much everything else going to shit.

Better figure out something pretty fast, though, because it’s not like there’s much choice. Which makes me even madder about all of it.

Also, looking at the embassy site, under required documents:

Evidence of U.S. Citizenship – Such evidence may include but is not limited to: U.S. birth or naturalization certificate, Report of Birth Abroad or an expired U.S. passport.

Valid, government issued photo I.D.(such as a U.S. or foreign passport, drivers licence or military I.D)

Which of course I do not have now. The only photo ID I’ve had for years was the passport. Last time I had to get a replacement (another concern, with it being a repeat request), I still had a valid Virginia driver’s license–though I don’t recall them wanting to see other photo ID then. That was in 2008, though.

(For most purposes here, you’re still OK without any.)

What I do have: Two expired passports (including the temporary one from before 🙄) and my birth certificate, etc. Hopefully that will be enough to satisfy them. As unsympathetic as I do tend to come across, especially when I’m doing “highly stressed autistic person”.

Not much I can do about any of that, either ¯_(ツ)_/¯

(What probably should be) minor freakout time again.

I got a letter ftom HSBC oh-so-helpfully requiring me to resubmit multiple forms of ID to them. Given the fact that it is apparently selective and the timing, I have my suspicions that it may indeed be related to the “hostile environment” garbage–if a bit sneakier than I would have expected. If nothing else, it may be a preliminary weeding step.

[New sections 40A to 40H of the Immigration Act 2014 (inserted via Schedule 7 of the Immigration Act 2016) will require banks and building societies to make checks on existing account holders if requested to do so by a specified body, and to notify the Secretary of State if the person may be a ‘disqualified person’ (basically, an irregular migrant).]

My status should be totally “regular”…and surely they never foul anything up. *hollow laughter*

Anyway, of course they’re requiring valid photo ID. Which of course I do not have access to right now. Guess I had better figure out a way to manage an embassy appointment to get a replacement passport sooner than later, never mind my health situation keeping me from doing it already.

Hell, I’m already not looking forward to trying to get to Snappy Snaps for US regulation passport photos–and that’s right in town. I’ve just been that close to housebound for over a year now.

I’m too stressed to check for the deadline right now, but I would not be surprised if it’s more hassle dealing with them, with it probably taking longer to get the passport.

(Even more pissed off right now about the DVLA losing my passport. Otherwise I would probably have both that and a driving license to choose from for the damned bank 😠)

I mean, I have been stressing over not having that for a while now. I really need a passport. But there have been legitimate problems with trying to remedy the situation. Having to keep telling myself that right now.

Hopefully it will be doable with cabs as close to door to door as possible. Mr. C will voluntarily hump luggage all the way through public transport to avoid taking a cab to/from the airport, and I really hope it won’t take much explaining why (a) that is just not going to work, and (b) I don’t feel safe handling the trip alone now even with more suitable transportation. Just not much patience, and hopefully there won’t be any static about it.

I cannot reasonably function with the good old cash under the mattress approach if they block my accounts. (Even assuming his aren’t next…) And I obviously can’t change banks now. That wouldn’t have worked without a valid passport, even before the government decided to get this nasty.

Not a lot of good options here. And this is just too much on top of pretty much everything else going to shit.

Better figure out something pretty fast, though, because it’s not like there’s much choice. Which makes me even madder about all of it.

Reminded again with that last reblog and my tag commentary, it’s really no wonder that there were zero wheelchair users (and not many other obviously disabled students) the whole time I went through Toxic School System.

Sure, it was a relatively small system, with maybe 100-120 students per class year when I was there. But, as an indication, out of 600-odd people in the middle/HS complex at any given time? I remember one blind person and one with Down Syndrome, besides the handful of recognized LD/“emotionally disturbed” kids stuck in their segregated special ed classes for at least part of the day.

(Including one of my cousins. My mom wouldn’t let them park me in there in elementary school, which may have been motivated by weird-ass denial but I am still pretty glad. Everything I saw and heard was that bad.)

Anybody who could at all–and cared–took their kids to the neighboring county, which actually tried for some accessibility and useful services even before the ADA. I ended up transferring there for reasons I didn’t think were related at the time, and was struck even then by how many disabled kids I had not been encountering in school before.

While AFAIK, people who can’t get up the stairs may still be out of luck at Toxic College Town HS. That was the case years after the ADA went into effect. (But where’s the problem if you’ve already run off all the students with longer-term mobility problems, right? 😩)

When a system just dgaf about blatantly obvious barriers like that, well…

Ouch.

I was never ever allowed to say any of it was bad, and it led to me having a long string of…friends and acquaintances that I’d just put up with, because I’d been taught over and over that if you care about someone, you put up with abusive behavior.

Way too close to home, in multiple senses. I couldn’t even really start processing just how fucked-up some behavior was until I had been out of the situation for a few years. Had trouble even admitting how bad some of it was to myself.

What’s extra bad is that I don’t think my mother ever figured out in her own life that emotionally abusive behavior isn’t just something you have to put up with. Which really doesn’t excuse spreading the joy and taking out her own problems on other people, but yeah. Trying very hard here not to keep some patterns rolling.

(Disclaimer on some framing in the original linked comment. Not surprisingly, one of the big things that kept getting used against me was my own supposed craziness. And I really don’t want to turn that around on anybody else. How you choose to treat other people is the relevant thing, no matter what else is going on.)

Instagram post by Gregg Deal • Nov 15, 2017 at 4:17pm UTC

Some commentary well worth a read, which I found earlier via @robohontas on Twitter.

It also must be noted that in areas that are not near Native communities, we are often mistaken as something other than being Native, but still perceived as an “other”.

That bit jumped out particularly, for some fairly obvious reasons. Talk about “the minority of the minority”.

It can feel even weirder in some ways, living somewhere that you know it’s never occurred to at least 99.9% of the population that they might ever encounter someone like you, if people like you exist now. Much less in their own (colonizing) country. With some different weird dynamics than back home.

But yeah, especially given some of the differences in how things work here, and the current political climate amplifying that? (See also: that last reblog.) You can bet some people are going to make sure you know that you’re still perceived as an “other”.

As I mentioned before, specifically in connection to medical settings but extending well beyond? Even if they’re not sure what stereotype(s) to apply, too often people will choose whatever feels best to them and just run with that. While you can never really predict what that might be. Or, often, figure out what version they’ve chosen while you’re trying to deal with it.

As I know I’ve also commented on before, I am still impressed (and kind of surprised) that so far nobody here has felt entitled to get up in my face with the breathtakingly rude “What are you?!” type questions. Much less tried to argue me down whenever it has come up for some reason. Glad not to be dealing with that these days, at least. Different styles.

But, this is another of those areas where I do get the idea that not being readily able to pigeonhole someone immediately can make too many people very, very uncomfortable. Also liable to react badly and take that discomfort out on whoever prompted it by being disturbingly ambiguous in their vicinity.

That can be pretty disconcerting to deal with, and I haven’t noticed it getting talked about much.

Instagram post by Gregg Deal • Nov 15, 2017 at 4:17pm UTC

Expanding on the doorbell situation, even though it’s more embarrassing than it probably should be.

The previous old wired one that was here when Mr. C bought the place over 15 years ago was terrible enough for me that it was too easy to put off replacing it, even being fully aware that they don’t have to be that aggressively startling. Made me jump out of my skin every time it went off. (And of course I put off just saying fuck this and getting a new one then, because it still worked…)

Besides being super loud and at a nasty frequency for pain in my bad ear, it gave a “ding-DING! ding-DING! DING-DING!” for every button push, and of course people kept mashing the button. 😱

Then it failed by going off crazily and near-constantly for hours while I was here alone, and before long I was too busy having meltdowns and literally hiding behind the couch to be able to get it stopped.

To make that even better? It did that right after some smarmy home repairs probably-scam salesman had been by twice, and I finally got pretty rude at him because he needed it. So, I thought it was some kind of wacked out harassment thing–and that messed with stalker PTSD on top the sheer sensory hell. I also didn’t want to get close enough to the door to try and stop the thing if that was going on, while I was still in a state of mind to even try. (Not because I was afraid of the guy, but because I didn’t trust myself not to land myself in jail and probably get deported by that point.)

The look on Mr. C’s face after he got home and dismantled the thing, and I finally came out of my bunker 😨 Not one trace of anger or disgust, though. If it had been my mother, I might well have gotten locked up, definitely threatened with it. That happened over less spectacular episodes when I was younger, for more PTSD fun. Which kinda took a lot of the relief out of somebody coming home and shutting the thing up, I tell you what. But, he was just horrified in a sympathetic way. Wouldn’t have rationally expected different by then, but not much rational was going on that afternoon.

Not in any hurry to install another bell after that, no. We went a few years without one, tbqh.

But, stressing about hearing the door finally outweighed trying another doorbell. And hopefully this new model will not freak me out every time it goes off. With adjustable volume and a choice of sounds. Worst case, just unplugging the receiver will make it shut up.

OK, I really am exhausted and running very low on wording spoons right now. But, I still have to make one observation that jumped out at me about this post and the weird assumptions about how things work some people are working from.

“Per Capita Total World GDP” (or whatever the exact phrasing was), which starts picking up after 1500 or so. Where the “world” a lot of people would be thinking of didn’t know whole other continents existed until…around 1500 🤔 Never mind sensibly estimating GDP.

(And of course the usual run of assumptions are still generally not based off much knowledge about social and economic conditions across those “new” areas before ca. 1500. When they started getting plundered for resources.)

Assuming everyone everywhere has always inevitably run with that type of unequal scarcity-based approach to available resources–and inevitably will!–just doesn’t make any sense.

Just one illustration of one of the many many wtf-inducing things about some common economic/social assumptions underpinning whole popular schools of political/economic thought. Not very well expressed, because wording spoons.

But, the “world GDP” graphs kinda stuck out.