So freaking interesting and detailed and all-around useful and informative!
The title made me Nervous As Fuck, but it’s actually a very interesting read.
Here are the main parts:
In the author’s experience, the 1-2-3 fingers ‘preparation’ thing that we all know and love (and happens in 99% of fics) isn’t done by gay men. It’s important to be relaxed and go slow, then take a minute to adjust – but the idea of ‘stretching’ with fingers isn’t recognised. (According to the author. There’s some fighting in the comments. He adds that written fingering is hot – it shouldn’t be wiped from fanfiction by any means – but it should instead be embraced as a pleasurable sex act of its own, rather than a mandatory stage of all anal sex ever.)
Anal sex without preparation and lube isn’t actually going to cripple you. It’s commonly done, especially by long term partners, and frankly it can be part of the appeal.
I’m so guilty of this. I’m sorry, End Game Myc, I didn’t know. Continuing sex after the bottom has come is generally very unpleasant and uncomfortable. It’s also seen as bad etiquette and very selfish.
Cock rings don’t stop you coming. They prolong an erection, sometimes even after coming.
The prostate isn’t a ‘press for pleasure’ button. It doesn’t produce an immediate shower of stars. Like all sexual pleasure, it builds gradually and needs sustained stimulation.
Coming after two or three tugs of the cock shouldn’t be written as ‘standard’, even if the character has been on the edge for a while. It generally takes longer. Ten seconds is given as a ‘minimum’.
Male orgasm isn’t really heat – it’s pressure – and it’s located more in the groin than in the belly.
The slit at the end of a man’s cock isn’t that sensitive. The frenulum (underneath the head) is the sensitive bit. There’s also no large vein on the underside of a penis, and it certainly doesn’t swell up.
Apparently we can make more of a thing out of pre-come. It’s normal for there to be loads of it. (Hurray?)
There’s more discussion, personal experiences and arguing in the comments.
I’d love to pioneer the “fingering isn’t necessary” campaign – but I know that the first fic I post without dutiful fingering will get at least twenty comments explaining to me how anuses work (i.e., they’re elastic and need to be stretched.)
I’m a cis woman, but I’ve had my share of anal sex and I’ve been campaigning that fingering isn’t necessary for years. Lube up, start slow, relax, and you can insert a penis without any prior prep.
Anuses don’t so much “stretch” as “dilate.” And if you’re experienced, you have some control over the muscle. I’ve even had anal sex without lube, and while I wouldn’t necessarily recommended that, it was not particularly painful and I certainly didn’t bleed or anything. There’s such a thing as rectal mucous. It’s not at all like vaginal lubrication, but a rectum isn’t totally dry. It definitely helped that my partner was uncircumcised (which will be true of most UK/European characters) and we weren’t using condoms. Foreskins reduce friction and condoms add it, so, I wouldn’t recommend unlubricated anal sex except in those circumstances.
The “one finger, two finger, three finger fuck” trope annoys me and I never write it. My characters usually just get down to the anal intercourse if that’s what’s on the menu. Or, if I do write prep, it usually involves butt plugs or rimming, since I like those things and I dislike fingering. I’ve never had anyone lecture me in the comments about how anuses work (and if they did I’d tell them where to stick it, literally).
I AM DYING!!!
AND THESE ARE ALL WRITTEN BY MEN, PUBLISHED AUTHORS, SO I DON’T WANT NOBODY COMPLAINING ABOUT SEX SCENES WRITTEN BY FANGIRLS EVER AGAIN!!
In case anyone was wondering why they should click the link, here’s a gem for you
“”Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her.“
Storytime. Cooking in a different country makes you realize how many things you take for granted are just, Not A Thing Here. Like apple juice. Surely you can find apple juice at your local Athenian grocery store, right? Wrong. Greeks drink orange juice and peach juice and mixed fruit juice and sour cherry juice, but… plain old apple juice, nope, not so much. You’ll have a hard time finding vanilla extract in Greece too, since Greeks are used to vanilla powder in little plastic capsules and you have to go to specialty shops for the liquid stuff. Sour cream is virtually nonexistent here (but hey, it’s the land of yogurt, which is a good enough substitute). But surprisingly cornmeal (which is a specialty ingredient in the UK) is everywhere, since Greeks have their own versions of cornbread and corn pudding.
So basically: I knew it might be impossible find vegetable shortening (aka Crisco) for my Thanksgiving pie crust here in Athens. Crisco is pretty uniquely American, and Greeks are more likely to use phyllo than shortcrust anyway. That said, there are a handful of specialty shops in central Athens that sell things like Heinz baked beans and custard powder and Worcestershire sauce and other Weird Foreign Foods™ so us Sad Homesick Expats don’t have to go hungry (I’m always reminded of A Passage to India and their corned beef and tinned peas). So I went on Skroutz (the search engine for buying stuff in Greece) and typed in “vegetable shortening” to see if any stores carried it.
A notification came up asking me to confirm that I was over 18 years old?
???
I clicked “yes”??
Turns out there is, in fact, one shop in Athens that carries vegetable shortening. It’s a sex shop. The shortening is listed under “sex essentials”, as lube. For fisting. It’s literally called “βούτυρο για fisting” – “butter for fisting”.
I decided I didn’t need a flaky pie crust that badly.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
You must be logged in to post a comment.