runcibility:

catheruin:

calmer-chameleon:

Just saw this abstract nativity set unironically posted on instagram by some craft lady

Ah yes, the traditional 7 buttplugs of xmas

And who could forget the three wise sphincters came with gifts

[lube, lube, and more lube]

alienatedaugmenter:

marisatomay:

toboldlylesbian:

marisatomay:

toboldlylesbian:

pick your fighter

the ‘$1000 to go to Hawaii’ bride, the ‘I bought a $99 polygraph on amazon’ lady, or the ‘why was $200 so huge’ birthday girl

a lot of people seem to be confused and think the hawaii bride and the polygraph lady are the same but they’re actually 2 separate people so here’s all 3 in one go

the “$1500 to go to hawaii” bride

Ms Polygraph Test

$200 birthday

bask in the unfiltered nonsense of it all

since someone mentioned this and I had forgotten, a last minute entry fighter: “Squire Sebastian” lady

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

War- Ms.Polygraph

Famine- $1500 for Hawaii

Pestilence- Squire Sebastian

Death- $200 Birthday

candidlyautistic:

abcsofadhd:

One upside of having an absolutely shitty memory is rereading or watching, a book or a movie and being surprised at twists all over again.

For real! But also try adding aphantasia into the mix as well! Not just all the plot twists are new again, but so are the actual images and words.

relatablepoetryandquotes:

“The most intimate thing we can do is to allow people we love most see us at our worst. At our lowest. At our weakest. True intimacy happens when nothing is perfect.”

– Amy Harmon

via @quotemadness

blackzagan:

angelictactics:

ayellowbirds:

ash-ash-bo-bash:

others: “so, how ~southern~ are you?”

me: “The entrance of my hometown has a shrimp boat sitting in the main street. At Christmas theres a shrimper Santa and alligators pulling him instead of reindeer.”

others: “what?!”

me:

this is the only xmas content i want to see, fuck everything else. Shrimper Santa and his flying albino alligators

@blackzagan

OH MY GOD GHATS WHERE THE IMAGE IS FROM I LOVE IT

taggediconic:

abandonedfarm:

This guy lit just reinvented fatherhood and being a parent omg.

“my 3 year old was mean to me and can’t hold a conversation so I did what I had to and never saw them again”

Also, this post (from 2015) has been getting some traffic today. I don’t think that’s even the full count, and I’m not the OP 😅

(With another 13 reblogs showing up while I was messing with the screenshot…)

3 plz~> the history of the emu war

facts-i-just-made-up:

Hardcore. Punk. Alternative. Pop. My grandmother used to tell me stories about the old days, a time of peace when Guy Picciotto kept balance between the Hardcore Tribes, Punk Kingdom, Alternative Nation, and Pop Nomads. But that all changed when A Fire Inside attacked.

pajamaben:

“Hey, do you own any cats?”

“yeah i own cats. i own them all the time. *points at a passing cat* you walk like a moron. hey, who’s your barber? some kind of…bad barber or something?? idiot”

loving-women-is-rad:

tinatinabrown:

yrfriendliz:

http://www.wsj.com/articles/BL-LB-51793

This is honest to god one of the funniest things I think I have ever seen. The idea of giving a baby a theme party based on a local personal injury attorney is something i am so jealous of I dont know how to properly put it into words.

Also the fact that the lawyer didn’t come to the party somehow makes it even funnier.

this is the kind of content i came here for

he didnt come to the party because he sees the baby as a future opponent