At least I did escape the unisex ‘70s kids’ bowl cut, is all I can say. I got kept in weird ’70s pixie cuts instead.
If not the ’80s curly perms also demonstrated there, a couple of times. Though mine tended more toward closer clipped poodle.
(The main idea there was to make it easier to maintain and stop it from sticking out all over my head as chaotically. Spoiler: That failed on both fronts. Almost glad I don’t have any pics.)
Seriously though, the main reason I haven’t dyed my hair at all in over a year now is the level of hassle rinsing/ washing it out properly without staining everything has turned into around here. Between the lingering shoulder BS and the (yes continuing) shower thing.
Going to have to figure out some sort of workaround, short of getting a salon to do it, because jfc. I know getting some color in my hair would make me feel more like me.
(Not looking for suggestions, just venting!)
One of the reasons I am kinda wanting to get a lot of it chopped off. Much easier to manage less of it when you’re having shoulder and washing problems. Besides just being past time for a change.
Back to decidedly analog text messages here: leaving another Post-it where he should hopefully see it before he leaves for work, while I’m reminded to ask him to make a pharmacy stop later 🙄
Glad I did remember to do that, but yeah. Suboptimal arrangements.
So now I’m just remembering one year when we ended up doing a big grocery run on like the 23rd, trying to make sure we were well stocked up for when basically the whole country shuts down.
That time, not only was the store (our closest Sainsburys, in fact) a total madhouse worse than before a big storm back home? The fastest estimate he could get on a minicab home was like 3 freaking hours. Trying multiple places.
So yeah, we ended up taking turns pushing the overloaded trolley home. Good thing it was only about a mile, and the worst uphill you get around here isn’t very. Because of course it was vaguely uphill too 😅
ETA: Somebody had also nicked the trolley from outside the back gate when he went to wheel it back the next day. Another hike avoided, at least.
I actually thought I might still have a couple of days’ grace period left before the full-on Christmas rush made getting any grocery delivery slot outside prime hours impossible.
(I like the late slots, and those normally just don’t fill completely up at all. I’d have been willing to take an early morning one, which often don’t either.)
Yeah, not so much 😊
Should have gone ahead and checked that basket out when I added most of the stuff to it over the weekend. Though, from the look of things, that may have already been too late.
Hopefully I will remember next time, if it comes up again. Guess I’ll just need to either drag myself to the closest Sainsburys within the next few days, or give him a shopping list. We hadn’t gotten a delivery in a while, because I am pretty good at putting it off, and we do need several things specifically from there.
“I should go ahead and get that Sainsburys delivery booked before it’s too late!”
Hahahahaha
How everything until the 27th looked. Including the early and late slots.
We should finally be getting a fairly big grocery order in a week, though 🙄
Not that surprised by now that ongoing circumstances have really got the OCD crap kicking into overdrive too. It doesn’t always take that much, and I was already pretty deep in a burnout.
Glad I do also have enough perspective by now, though, to step back from it a little and try not to engage with the looping bullshit. Or so I try to tell myself 🙄
OK, I am just about ready to say “fuck it, we’re getting delivery tonight”.
Standing up and busting my ass to put food together is not a reasonable expectation of myself today. Even if I didn’t also need to gimp out to the store after subpar pain relief.
I don’t need to put myself into more of a state by trying to push through and do that.
At this point, I would rather deal with the persistent scripts telling me that I’m lazy and (probably deliberately) making things harder on everyone else than keep pushing myself tonight.
OK, I really need to get down for a while and prop that leg up. But I’ve been avoiding it even more because I had maybe 4 hours of not great sleep earlier before pain (in that damned leg) got me up for good.
Really do not want to zonk out at 5 p.m., when that’s been enough of an issue on more sleep. But, I had better try for a while anyway, before I work on supper 😵
Not quite ready to say “fuck it, we can get delivery” and just have a nap if that wants to happen. But, it’s getting close.
I did get down, at least.
But, I’m also kind of irritated right now because I really do not feel up to dragging myself out to the store after something pressing.
(More ibuprofen, actually. Because I can maybe gimp to a store that sells that, and not an actual pharmacy when I am out of stronger behind the counter nonprescription stuff. With the leg waking me up, on top of the usual background garbage.)
And, if anything, his staying incommunicado has intensified.
I’ve mostly just not been attempting to message him, but sometimes I get desperate enough to try. Like “out of pain relief, getting woken up by pain”, yeah.
It’s hard not to feel like a selfish jerk, after finding out why he’s apparently not been keeping his phone charged. I also have (installed) actual scrupulosity issues around not wanting to inconvenience people by even asking for anything.
But, honestly? I’m having a hard enough time getting out after some basic items that this is causing me problems. These things do go multiple ways. I’m not necessarily a bad person for getting upset when I am having significant trouble getting some needs met.
He assured me before that it had nothing to do with my getting overly demanding, and that he didn’t mind stopping for things. He’s not prone to just lying or telling you what he thinks you want to hear, either. So, I’m guessing that is really not the main thing here. As much as the jerkbrain keeps insisting it must be. I don’t think it is some weird passive-aggressive number on his part. He really doesn’t seem to mind when I do manage to make “bread and cat food on the way home please!” type requests.
But, I cannot reasonably anticipate everything and also remember to ask him before he leaves in the morning. I’ve tried, and it just has not been working out well. Even if my executive function were better, you just can’t anticipate everything. It was already pretty hard to get some basic needs met, and this recent change has not helped my overall wellbeing.
Again, not looking for any type of advice. Just needing to vent some, and remind myself that needing to ask for more help doesn’t make you a terrible person who is lucky for whatever you do get. Including being tolerated at all.
I feel bad about the difficulties he seems to be having lately, but that also doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person for getting concerned about that making things harder on me. No matter how many times I got the message before that other people are dealing with Real Problems and I am making things much harder by even mentioning anything going wrong in my life.
(Also, things can be hard without anybody in particular being to blame 😧)
Yeah, some pretty PTSD-heavy stuff. No wonder I’ve been having some extra trouble coping, or even processing some things.
OK, I really need to get down for a while and prop that leg up. But I’ve been avoiding it even more because I had maybe 4 hours of not great sleep earlier before pain (in that damned leg) got me up for good.
Really do not want to zonk out at 5 p.m., when that’s been enough of an issue on more sleep. But, I had better try for a while anyway, before I work on supper 😵
Not quite ready to say “fuck it, we can get delivery” and just have a nap if that wants to happen. But, it’s getting close.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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