Tag: personal

One of my recent purchases:

Meanwhile, back home:

I mostly did a quick comparison out of curiosity, because I remembered it being like 2-3 pint bottles for $1 when I was last buying any. About the same price still. Figured it couldn’t be much more now, and definitely not around 20x as expensive 😨

This time I was specifically wanting some for a skin problem, and to dilute for a mouth rinse. Best thing I’ve found for some uses. (And it’s not going to turn your teeth brown like the chlorhexidine they push for any kind of gum problems here… 😦)

And I would rather avoid unnecessary additional ingredients which might cause more irritation. (There is one Peroxyl mouthwash formulation available, but yeah. It’s more expensive, besides the extra crap I don’t want.)

I may have been able to find some plain peroxide a little cheaper somewhere else, but possibly not by that much. It’s barely used as an antiseptic here, and IME really is not worth the hassle of trying to buy in person. Which really surprised me the first time I tried.

Some context.

Maybe my favorite comment I ran across on another site, though:

There are some very dangerous uses for hydrogen peroxide, using it to clean a cut is a very strange idea. I would not like to be the one helping OP to obtain it.

That would be in reference to another American looking for the 3% stuff to treat a cut. It would be very difficult indeed to do anything nefarious with that weak a solution, even if someone wanted to try.

Reminds me of when my first GP here was appalled to hear that I’d regularly been taking Benadryl, because it is “a powerful sedative” 🤔 Including with the attitude. (No joke. Turned out they only sell diphenhydramine as a Nytol/Sominex here, in small boxes behind the pharmacy counter.)

Meanwhile, in Ireland, from just last month: Boots ordered to pay €700 to man after hydrogen peroxide purchase queried. With an added racist element in that case, though that’s basically the reception I got before at a Boots here.

Oh yeah, I also had no trouble buying the 40-volume hair kind at Sally’s before. No questions whatsoever. Shame that’s not something I would want to use except for hair.

Impressive differences sometimes, yeah. And it’s definitely not just the US that’s prone to weird panics. Unfortunately.

clatterbane:

I can’t even find one earlier post complaining about one ridiculous thing: fighting falling sleep whenever I mostly lie back with my legs propped up in the bed. Which I should be doing much more often trying to heal something, but not if it means a nap every time 😪

Sitting down for very long is bad enough that way these days, but lean back and get comfortable at all and it’s honestly kind of worrying.

Anyway, reading is a definite no-go. Watching something I’m engaged with is sometimes better for staying conscious, sometimes not so much.

But, I just discovered new depths of ridiculousness with it a little while ago. Caught myself dozing off while trying to go through a dungeon in Skyrim!

Didn’t even want to try anything but sitting totally up last night, but I figured actively playing a game should be enough to keep me awake. Tonight I could tell I really needed to elevate that leg (after not doing so all day), and…not so much. Trying to go out like a light anyway.

Taking a break and fortifying myself with caffeine right now, but yeah I don’t think I’ll try that again tonight.

Looks like this post is 5 months old, but yeah that’s still a problem. I just haven’t been getting down and propping that leg up much at all except to sleep, which is probably one of the reasons it’s still an issue.

I know I really need to stay off it more, but honestly I manage to get little enough accomplished around here anyway without fighting zonking out whenever I do. Probably a good indication that my system does need more rest, but hey.

Anyway, I do actually feel a little better about it now. I mentioned being frustrated with that tonight after supper, when I really needed to get down for a while.

Mr. C’s response? “Sleep more!”

I am aware that I do worry excessively about coming across as lazy when that’s not what’s going on. (And no wonder. That was a repeating theme, just extra jarring under those circumstances.) It can be hard to work past, though.

Seems like a pretty good indication that the people around you are maybe not tending to think that way if they’re actually suggesting you should rest/sleep more, however. Guess I needed the reminder.

(Then there was that “Seems like the problem is the opposite of laziness!” comment a few years ago. The jerkbrain is stubborn 🙄)

More demonstration of the whole “communication can avoid trouble” point.

One of the things that prompted the little talk was the fact that he’s been going around with his phone out of battery a lot lately, and didn’t make any move to put it on charge when I reminded him this evening. That’s a recent change.

Without my directly mentioning that, he assured me that it had absolutely nothing to do with me personally. Which yeah, I had been concerned that he was sick of the frequent requests to pick up stuff that I couldn’t get out to buy, and that sort of thing.

Apparently not. Everything (including “the whole Internet”, in his words) has been too much, to the point of his at least half-deliberately avoiding it by not keeping his phone charged.

And spending basically all his time at home gaming and very little messing around online, now that I think of it.

I mean, I could tell that he was acting more stressed lately. But, I had no idea it was to that point, because he hasn’t been talking about it at all. Probably also not wanting to worry me, though he didn’t explicitly say that. It was obviously uncomfortable enough to talk about at all, though I’m glad he finally did say something about it. Understandable, the way things have been going, but not a good situation at all.

Like I said, we’re both pretty bad about that. And the fucked-up stoicism act is rarely helpful to anyone 😱

I’m still kind of shaky, but glad I went ahead and brought up something that had been bothering me for a while before Mr. C went to sleep.

On most levels, I know communication is good and can actually help avoid a bunch of problems. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy, especially with enough ingrained training to keep your mouth shut to avoid conflict. Difficult subjects really don’t make it easier. Both of us can be pretty bad about that, and for similar reasons AFAICT.

I also have some extra (carefully instilled) scrupulosity issues around the idea of Causing Problems For Other People. Including by mentioning existing ones 😳

Anyway, he didn’t act like a jerk about any of it. He was listening, and obviously did care how I felt. (Not that I really expected otherwise, but yeah. PTSD.) And I’m feeling better about what was bothering me in the first place. Which was also heavily wrapped up in some of the same scrupulosity BS, since that is apparently just the way I roll 🙄

That is indeed kinda how respectful discussions in a relationship are supposed to work. But, even after this many years? I am still pleasantly surprised on some level when they do.

Guessing it’s been at least 5 years now since those lower ribs decided to break. (I could look it up, but nah. Doesn’t really matter.)

But, I just keep getting impressed at how, anytime something makes the muscles around them tighten up, they will still hurt like a sonofabitch. With as far down as mine go, that also means the lower back tightening up will set them off 🤗

Tonight they’re being particularly fun, after that fall earlier and then getting really cold. Usually it’s mostly the one side with more (totally healed for years) breaks, but the other side wanted to get in on the act too.

Hoping that will calm down some with sleep, but we’ll see.

One not-so-funny thing about that ridiculous little spill earlier. (Well, besides ending up in rather a lot of pain, which probably isn’t helping the rest.)

When I suddenly came down almost on top of him, Mr. C’s immediate impulse was to throw his arms around me. Which probably wouldn’t be a bad impulse at all, dealing with most people.

I, however, yelled at him to get his arms off me.

(Then did manage to add that I knew he was trying to help, but everything was overwhelming right then. Trouble talking or no.)

I apologized and explained more as soon as possible. He seemed reasonably OK about it. But, I did lose it and yell when I shouldn’t have.

So, now I can’t stop doing the good old Scrupulosity Shuffle. Yell at somebody you care about when you don’t have good control, and wind up triggering yourself 😱

But yeah, if it had been my mom? That would have been enough to leave her seriously pissed at me and prone to explosions for at least the rest of the day. If not longer. With the potential to turn into some very ugly scenes. (But, that’s different, whatever she did. I was the one who created the entire situation, when she was Only Trying To Help 😵)

Let’s just say that my stressed autistic person behavior and her unaddressed borderline tendencies did not always mesh well. (Which tended to turn into a problem when I was sick/in pain in general, for that extra bit of PTSD background dread for a good while now.)

Anyway, I don’t think he’s liable to respond like that. Especially understanding (and, frankly, caring) why that happened–with apologies. We’ve known each other in person for over 15 years now, and he has yet to behave that way.

A lot like with the sudden spate of meltdowns a while back, though? I can’t stop feeling like maybe I have seriously fucked up, however unintentionally, and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Besides going off into more “maybe I really am a terrible person who doesn’t care about anyone else and just keeps hurting the people around me” garbage, naturally.

Never much fun to ride out, but as usual trying to argue with it is a bigger losing proposition.

OK, I doubt falling right on him would really crush Mr. C too seriously. He probably has a good 90 lbs on me these days, and it wouldn’t be the first time either. But, I still get concerned 😑

Seriously though, my mother could come out with some of the cringiest 2nd Wave crap. With some of it directly harmful to people like me.

But, I still feel like I was better off being raised hearing that than some other kinds of ideological BS.

(That’s also a good bit of the reason I have such a low tolerance now for Zombie Bad ‘70s Politics, tbqh. Maybe especially of the concern trolling kind. It would be tiresome enough anyway, but I heard more than enough hurtful shit like that to last a lifetime before I was 10. And people persist in resurrecting it😩)