papapan:

jess-do-it:

finnobliterateshux:

avada-matata:

ghostfiish:

proserpine-in-phases:

roachpatrol:

thegaynewsboy:

cerfcoeur:

urufu-arts:

flo-here-from-progressive:

meesta-egg:

the-tevinter-biscuit:

huhpotatoes:

frogmp3:

Here lies Asia. They are not going to be able to make it.

Here lies Kay. She is a great friend.

Here lies Charlie. They were in a few weeks ago and the machine is happening.

Here lies Meesta. She was a little late to the party.

Here lies Flo. She was just so confused about how she is.

Here lies Navy. He was a good time.

Here lies Cerf. She was a cursed lady with no mercy and then she was a blessed mother

Here lies Ryan. He was just like a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who is just like a guy.

here lies roach. he was told that he was told to weld it up to the point of a knife.

here lies andrea. she was just a little bit of a difficult concept.

Here lies Carlie. She was a kid in a cape with the dog in a cape.

Here lies Nell. She was just like a man to me and my mom and her sister and her family and I was like oh yeah that’s what I was like yeah.

Here lies Niks. He was born that way to move him to selflessness.

Here lies Jessie. She was a very happy and sweet friend to me and her family and I hope y’all have a wonderful day and I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope you’re having a wonderful day and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Here lies Mel. She was just rude.

Here lies clatterbane. They were not the intended recipient, you can also be used to be a good time to time.

havingbeenbreathedout:

fleamontpotter:

ummmwine:

ummmwine:

ron was going to be spiders. he just was.

god just saw i forgot to put in the last one

Ron’s Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself. 

‘What about Ron magic?’ offered Ron. To Harry, Ron was a loud, slow, and soft bird. Harry did not like to think about birds.  

The pig of Hufflepuff pulsed like a large bullfrog. Dumbledore smiled at it, and placed his hand on its head: “You are Hagrid now.”

Gins just linked me to the Guardian piece on this Botnik chapter half an hour ago and I cried laughing, so of course within three minutes of getting on Tumblr there are illustrations. ❤ ❤

thebibliosphere:

crowdiamagio:

thebibliosphere:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

I’ve been making sentences out of predictive text only. It’s come up with these gems:

“I JUST WISH THERE WERE A WAY TO GET MORE COINS AND THEN I COULD MAKE A BETTER LIFE FOR MY FROGS.”

“You are not going to make me feel happy and I don’t want to see you again.”

“I want to be a happy boy but my uncle is a very intimidating person and he sees me as a human and I don’t want him to know that I am not going to be a god or something.”

“I’m so glad that you are here to make me feel like I am a great grandmother.”

“My heart broke into a werewolf and a vampire and a frog boy who was never told that he was a gay man and the emperor and the holy queen of sass.”

“God is a lesbian and she has no plans for the next few days.”

“Female robots have never been more aggressive than they are this year and I think they’re the best thing to happen to me.”

“The emperor of the pines is the only man going to my birthday party and he is going to come to my room to help me out with my friends.”

Oh shit… we’re gonna fuck the Emperor of the Pines this weekend, guys!

“Giant frog attempts to eat my daughter for dinner and I ended up having to eat a whole tub of chocolate cake for her birthday.”

“I’m not sure what you think of my twitter account but I’m not sorry.”

“I think I am deeply uncomfortable with the idea of having an actual relationship with the emperor of the pines.”

I’d join in but I have work files on my phone so it’s all just porn.

So, essentially, your phone in terms of text suggestion, nearly identical to your average dude bro fifteen year old white highschooler? 

I find that somehow… ironic 

Excuse you, my phone generates only the highest quality of consenting and respectable filth between adults. 

poetic-poppy:

fuckyeahvalidation:

meedoragon:

wern:

cosmicmoves:

hiija:

podencos:

I️ was born to be one of my favorite people and my life is better than my loss

i was born to be a good night to be a good good night out again thank you for your help today i love you bye

I was born in the middle school so I’m glad you had to go get there a few days before I get to work I have a good day and I have to go get your hair appointment tomorrow I’ll let y’all be good I don’t think I’ll ever get it to go get it and then I’m just going back home and I will see y’all there.

i was born in the fact that Hong Kong’s oldest son and she was like b isnt purity culture

I was born in the middle of the year and I was wondering if you could give me a little more information about the job

I was born in the morning at least it’s less then I can take.

I was born in the past and I have been told that you are not alone.

I was born in the morning and evening of the most important part of the day of work to do with the same time