Stop mocking who you used to be stop belittling and insulting the child you were for things everyone in the world has gone through: puberty and all it comes with, braces, a bad haircut, your clothes, the childlike things you said. 13-year-old me wanted good friends and hated her acne and wanted better clothes and was terrified of people making fun of her for it so why should i do that now?? I deserved the love and respect at 13 that i do now and i’ll be the first to give it!
if u wouldn’t say it to a kids face today, don’t say it (or think it) about yourself at that age either. being embarrassing isn’t an unforgivable act, so forgive yourself for it and move on
It’s funny, I don’t particularly like myself, but it’s never past me that annoys me. I get why he did what he did, why he was how he was. I’m not sure what he’d be expected to do differently
i don’t know whether the russian agitprop bloggers are back under new names or whether there’s a fresh new footbullet brigade who actually bought their nihilistic message, but in the end it doesn’t matter
anyone telling you that, if you hate the way america is turning into a fascist puppet state, you should do nothing, is an enemy
anyone telling you that exercising your rights as a citizen is a bad thing, and that you should totally stick it to the man by sitting around with your thumb up your ass fantasizing about ‘burning it all down’, is a dangerous enemy, or dangerously stupid
and anyone who actually tries to get you to make real plans to go out and blow shit up, do murders, start fires, and get a lot of gung-ho idiots and innocent bystanders killed, is a literal felon, and either it’s a sting or they’re a terrorist
i don’t care if the thought of being a gun-toting shoot-first patriot sounds a-ok to you as long as you’re a leftist gun-toting shoot-first patriot, i am telling you, as Internet Dad, Local Calm Person, and Guy Who Has Seen This Shit Before, put the hateboner back in your pants, wash your hands, and go do what real americans do when they want freedom and progress: VOTE.
Also keep in mind that there is NOTHING about voting that restricts your future options to protest, tear shit up, riot, or otherwise Do A Revolution. Like, I’m not saying you should definitely do those things, but I AM saying that if you think you want to do those things or that those things are the only way to effect real change… you can both vote AND ALSO do those things.
Voting takes a few minutes, assuming you’re already informed about the issues you’re voting on and don’t have to do more research. It does not take a lot of energy, time, nor does it cost money (you may need an ID, depending on laws in your state, but you’re not going to be charged money specifically for voting).
And it may not solve everything all at once, or as fast as you’d like, heck it might not even successfully solve anything… but your armed revolution has a pretty significant chance of failure too, so doesn’t it make sense to take any avenue open to you to influence things in a positive direction??? Particularly when, again, there is NO reason to think that casting a ballot will limit your options when it comes to the armed revolution y’all seem to want so badly.
“All or nothing” is a crappy mentality that generally ends up getting nothing done.
And also. If you really think there’s no point in voting because all the candidates are somehow “problematic” anyway and no one’s Ideologically Pure enough for you… consider this: Right-wingers have been voting for whoever had a shot at winning that would nudge things even slightly in their direction for a long damn time, and look where it got them NOW.
Do exclusionist really think that when we say “include aspecs, even cis aroaces and cis het aspecs” we mean to say that they can weigh in on conversations about how homophobia and transphobia affect us or any other conversations specific to gay/bi/trans/nb people? Because it’s really not
Cis aroaces and cis het aspecs would be able to weigh in on discussions about acephobia and arophobia and how it affects ace and aro people, as well as general discussions about cisnormative and heteronormative society and oppression and how to tackle things like homophobia, transphobia, etc
Being part of the lgbt community doesn’t and never has meant you can speak about the experiences of other people, I’m a cis lesbian so I’m not gonna start talking about how transphobia and biphobia have affected me, but I can talk about how homophobia and lesbophobia affect me
This is the problem with exclusionists.
They think that’s what we mean when we say “I think cis/het aces/aros should be included” because in their minds, their inclusion in the queer community gives THEM the right to talk over the experiences of people with orientations that are not their own.
Ever notice how much overlap there is in the way ace exclusionists talk about aces, with the way biphobes talk about mspec folks, with the way terfs talk about trans folks? And also the way that all those people talk about orientations that are not their own? Like they know better than the person they’re speaking over.
There’s this attitude in any group that tries to gatekeep the queer community that they are the ultimate, all knowing authority. And if they haven’t experienced something (which they wouldn’t have anyway, because they’re NOT ace/bi/trans/whatever) it CLEARLY doesn’t exist.
It’s a superiority complex problem for the most part. That’s exacerbated by the identity politics/oppression olympics on tumblr.
Minding one’s own business needs to be a course in college…
This makes me sad. I grew up in a diverse area near the westcoast and I love casually hearing other languages. It makes me feel closer to the world and happy that they’re free to speak whatever language they want. This might sound weird, but whenever I hear them, it reminds me that strangers are real people with their own life and history. It’s a fact we easily forget. Language is such a huge part of who we are. I can’t imagine being forced to deny a part of my identity. To be told that I need to squish myself into their boxes or I’ll become the nail that needs to be hammered down. I hate this and I am so sorry this is happening to you.
If you move to an English speaking country, speak English, or better yet go back to the country that speaks your language and no one will say shit to you 🙆🏻♀️ the complete entitlement from immigrants when the loacals ask them to assimilate to their country. I wouldn’t go to Korea and cry like a baby because they told me to stop speaking English. Its expected I speak Korean. You people need to grow up .
While the United States is a predominantly English-speaking society, there is actually no official language. What would you say someone speaking an indigenous language? Also, the person who wrote these tweets speaks English? She was speaking Korean over the phone to her cousin in Korea. Do you expect her to speak in English to someone who might not speak it rather than a shared one because she’s in a public space in an “English speaking country”? Do you believe that everyone sharing a public space with you owes you something?
There’s a big difference between assimilation and integration and I don’t know how to tell you that assimilation is not a desirable thing.
Literally how the fuck are you going to call the victim entitled? They were having a private conversation and some fucking rando told her what language she could be speaking in a private fucking conversation that didn’t involve her at all. Gtfo.
For someone as paranoid and worried about people making fun of me behind my back as I am I was startled I discover other white people I knew objected to people speaking their native language in the street here in the U.K. because “they’re probably talking shit about me”
I remember going “but if you were in Spain with your family and walking down the street talking English with your family would you think that was wrong?”
“No”
“Then why is it wrong for them to speak their language?”
“Because I know they’re just talking shit about me!”
And how arrogant is that? Like paranoid “everyone secretly hates me” me thinks that’s arrogant and unnecessarily paranoid and also deeply racist
And it confused me as well because I never ever assumed people were speaking a different language to make fun of me specifically.
But yeah, attacking people for speaking a different language than English is atrocious
And even if they were talking shit about you, who gives a shit? Suck it up, Buttercup. Make like every fat kid in high school had to and keep walking.
Not only can you see a therapist if you have no life problems, I’ve heard from a bunch of therapists that they really value having clients who are in pretty good shape life-problems-wise and able to pay for therapy, as it enables them to offer sliding-scales and other forms of support for people in really dire situations.
Also, if anyone is telling you that you have no life problems because of demographics, that’s….not how anything works and sounds pretty unhealthy to internalize. Depression, anxiety, traumatic events, etc. can all hit anyone, and one of the reasons wealthy people are better off is because they can often afford therapy, time off, and supports that help them cope. And on a broader level, I don’t think the world we live in is really okay, for anybody, and I think it’s a mistake to tell anyone living in it that theirs is what a life without problems looks like.
I have known a lot of fairly well-off, college-educated, white males who had some pretty serious problems and mental health issues.
And yes, many therapists love to get clients who can afford to pay full prices, or whose insurance will pay full prices, because those full prices absolutely have some amount of sliding-scale fee baked into them usually.
anyone who thinks institutionalized oppression is the only real problem you can have… is not someone you should be listening to. at all.
ALSO ALSO mental illness is in fact an issue of institutionalized oppression and inequality.
I mean ALSO what @jumpingjacktrash said. But also this.
Anon is a manipulative asshole. Obviously they deserve therapy and they know that, they just want to delegitimize the struggles of systemic oppression. No one actually thinks that privileged people don’t have mental health problems. That’s not a thing people say. This whiny privileged person getting numerous marginalized people to validate them, and subtly delegitimize their own struggles, just because they happen to have mental illness symptoms is pretty sad.
How about NOPE. I see a shitton of people as a therapist who went without adequate mental health treatment FOR YEARS because they were told this shit. YES, PEOPLE DO TELL PEOPLE WITH ANY SEMBLANCE OF PRIVILEGE THAT THEIR PRIVILEGE MEANS THEY DON’T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS AND THEY DON’T DESERVE BASIC HUMAN CONSIDERATION. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. It’s a favourite tactic especially of abusive partners who are on the lower end of a societal power dynamic and use it to justify treating the person they profess to love like shit.
“By asking if it’s okay to go to therapy you’re asking marginalized people to delegitimize their own struggles” is EXACTLY the kind of bullshit that will lodge in somebody’s brain and convince them that they’re not allowed to ask for the kind of support and encouragement TONS of people need to reach out for help.
Not to mention, the acrid contempt in your reply is exactly the kind of shaming, virulent response OP was afraid of getting.
I see people from EVERY CATEGORY asking, “Am I allowed to go to therapy?” I get it from traumatized Indigenous women, because they didn’t get sent to residential schools like their parents were. From South Asian trans kids because they’re not actively suicidal like the friends they’re trying to keep alive are. From chronically depressed lesbians because they’re educated, white, and cis.
“Am I allowed to go to therapy?” is a conversation A LOT of people need to have before they’re ready to go. Asking it is asking for an act of simple kindness the like of which unitofcaring is the PERFECT place to go there because they SPECIALIZE in being kind to people. Yelling at anon for doing it is like yelling at someone going to a “Free Hugs” booth for expecting physical human contact.
Stuff your bitterness somewhere you’re not actively hurting vulnerable people with it.
“The very rude elevator screamers are paid professionals only looking to make Senators look bad Don’t fall for it!” he tweeted.
Trump claimed that billionaire liberal activist George Soros is among those funding the demonstrations against the judge, who has been accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women. He did not provide evidence for his claim.
the reason that social and sexual dynamics are screwed is that most people don’t like most people, but still want things from them.
i was thinking, for example, about the “respectful promiscuous” male archetype. the kind of guy that gets laid a lotand is very good at sex, and so acquires a reputation as being some kind of player, with the implication that being a player means being kind of a jerk. women like him, so of course he doesn’t care about them. except that in reality, the reason he gets laid a lot is that he really really–almost to the point of weirdness–likes women. people focus on the negging part of game, the idea of manipulating someone into seeking your approval. but half of the fun of being teased is the idea that someone is paying enough attention to you to tease you. when it’s well-intended, teasing is an attempt to build intimacy and rapport. it’s attractive because the attention part is complimentary while the “insulting” part reassures you that you are not being pedestalized. it suggests that you 1) like someone, 2) as they are. it’s a kind of pact to be okay with each other’s imperfections. teasing is just a shortcut, though. as long as someone believes that you like them for “authentic” reasons, attention is extremely attractive.
so people (notjust women, this is a broader social principle) “like jerks” because jerkishness is a signal of authenticity, but they will absolutely accept authenticity in other forms. confidence is attractive because it assures people that you like them because you like them (or will like them because you like them, if they can convince you to like them), not because you want people to like you so you can feel good about yourself. imo, the focus on the idea that confident = high status = attractive obscures this more important reality, namely, that people really like being liked.
problems happen because unless you’re a rare charismatic bird that likes everyone, you probably can’t give credible signals that you authentically like all the people that you might want social or sexual validation from. this is why “be yourself” is seen as the best advice to win friends, lovers, and social influence. it’s an admonition to make your (liking-people) signals more credible. which is great advice, in some ways, but often feels like terrible advice because the more actually credible (rather than fake-credible) your signals become, the more the pool of people you can convince you like them shrinks.
Not sure how much of this i agree with but I will say that I think it is spot on about teasing. In my experience as a slightly neuroweird human who often takes things too literally but can sometimes reason my way out of doing that:
Teasing between friends makes sense to me because I already know they like me. Either they are making note of flaws I actually have and assuring me they know about them but don’t take them too seriously, or they are bullshitting. In either case, I know what they are doign and can laugh at myself.
Teasing from people I don’t know confuses me, because I don’t know if they are saying my flaws are deal breakers, letting me know they see my flaws and can use them to hurt me, etc.
This is why negging as a strategy has always confused me.
I dont know how you could find a line of logic in that to agree with. It looks like a bot wrote it.
to me, one of the weirdest things about our economy right now is the credential inflation
like my dad got a job as a mechanic when he graduated high school, and he was employed with a high school diploma to a full time job with a union, and had health insurance and benefits.
at this point, I have graduated from high school, have a Bachelor’s degree, have a Master’s Degree, have two years of experience working in my field, and am a due paying member of multiple professional organizations. And that qualifies me to compete in a two-stage interview process for a part time job that offers no health care.
This is what decades of stripping the working class of their rights looks like.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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