Tag: reminder

thesunismyrolemodel:

I know you might be hurting right now, physically and/or mentally. I know people might be dragging you down and being hurtful to you. I know that you might feel like no one loves you and that you’re a waste of space. but no matter how hard your life gets, I want you to remember these three things:

you are enough

you are strong

and you are worthy of love.

this doesn’t fix what you’re going through, but I just want to remind you.

nurseyxbitty:

what-even-is-thiss:

Yesterday my dad told me something that I think maybe more people need to hear.

You’re allowed to just do things for fun.

He told me that in this modern society, especially the United States, we seem to have this attitude that we shouldn’t do something unless we’re aiming to be the best at it. If we can’t sing like Beyonce or Frank Sinatra or something there’s no point to singing. If we can’t make the next big breakthrough there’s no point in looking into mechanics and engineering.

But, he tells me, it took him a long time to figure out that life doesn’t have to be a race. If you want to take up the piano when you’re a teenager or later you’re not going to master it. You’re not going to be able to play to huge concert halls, but that also shouldn’t stop you. You can study a language out of curiosity and then drop the ball if you want. You can just get okay at something or even be terrible at it. You can drop it for days or years and then pick it up again and it doesn’t have to be a shameful thing.

I’m really glad he told me that because today I opened my sketchpad for the first time in months and just started drawing. And it looks terrible. But I don’t care. I don’t have the talent or patience or spacial awareness to get anywhere near good at drawing, but it’s fun. It helps me focus my mind and nobody has to see it.

And because of what he told me, I’m thinking maybe someday soon I will take up the bass guitar. And I won’t worry about how well I do, or how fast I learn, or that I haven’t played an instrument since sixth grade, or that I don’t have that much time to practice. I’m just gonna enjoy the experience. Maybe I’ll try swing dancing again and take a class because I’m not the best dancer but damn if it isn’t fun.

Yeah, you don’t have to be good at things. It’s not a requirement. Maybe that seems obvious but it had never occurred to me before. You’re allowed to just enjoy what you’re doing. For me, that feels like a life changing revelation. I don’t have to be good at something to like it. I don’t have to put 100% effort into everything I do. It’s kind of amazing.

i love this post and i love you

clatterbane:

karynchaotic:

if you see someone active on social media or something, and you message them, and they don’t reply, they don’t have to. just because they are awake and alive does not mean they have to engage with you whenever you want them to. you are not entitled to someone else’s time. 

in the past, an abuser would see me post online and then hound me on aim until i answered. i felt like i had to hide. they also lived in my building and would pound on my door if they saw me online and i wasn’t responding to them. i had to completely ditch a screenname, lie about having skype, and turn off my phone to hide. if i saw they were online i couldn’t post on facebook or interact with anyone without them demanding to interact with me. the only legitimate excuse not to talk to them was being asleep. in their eyes, if i were really their friend, i would always want to engage no matter what, even if i had a migraine or work to do or wasn’t feeling very social. it didn’t matter. 

please do not do this. if someone doesn’t write you back, don’t guilt them about where they are or what they’re doing. if you see someone posting on tumblr or facebook and they aren’t signed into aim or google or skype or whatever, that’s their business. if they are signed on but don’t write you back, it’s okay. sometimes people can’t talk to everyone all the time every time. some people can only talk to one person at a time without getting overloaded. some people are signed on in case someone needs to contact them with something important and not to be social. they’re not always hiding from you, and you shouldn’t make them feel like they HAVE to hide from you.

this is probably jumbled and i’m probably missing a lot here, but pressuring people to always be available to you every hour of the day and always answer the phone or text or chat or pm or whatever…if you require that of someone, you might need to take a step back.

Reminder: There are also actual reasons that some of us may have serious trouble responding to messages at all. And it’s unlikely to be about you unless you are acting like that.

I really don’t want to come across as some kind of antisocial asshole, but notifications popping up still freak me out every time. It goes way beyond “I don’t like IMs”. Seeing that it’s from someone I would want to talk to if I weren’t having a PTSD reaction doesn’t actually make it easier to respond, unfortunately.

No worries for anyone who hasn’t been aware of the problem. I’m still not entirely comfortable talking about it. And I feel bad about just leaving people hanging.

(To add to the OP’s excellent points.)

pro-autistic:

falloutsettler:

pro-autistic:

Wanting not to be touched doesn’t make you a mean person. Wanting people to respect your personal boundaries doesn’t make you annoying. You shouldn’t have to put yourself through things that hurt or upset you just because other people think they are harmless.

Ok but people that are touchy are allowed to not want to be around you or your friend either

Absolutely. Conflicting needs is a real thing; some people are just incompatible and that’s okay.

pro-autistic:

It’s okay to need explanations for things that other people don’t. It’s okay to ask questions with “obvious” answers. It’s okay to need instructions present in a way that’s different from the norm.

Your needs aren’t obnoxious or “asking for too much”. You deserve to get the help you need and you deserve to get it in a way that you can understand it.

kantala13:

ndpsych:

hey-nicemarmot:

imakesensejournal:

furiousgoldfish:

good parents don’t raise children with flashbacks

good parents don’t raise children with extreme fear of touch

good parents don’t raise children who can’t say no

(continue the chain! reblog with “good parents don’t raise children” and write your own symptoms!)

good parents don’t raise children that fear their own emotions

good parents don’t raise children that don’t know what consent is

good parents don’t raise children to be silent about their reality

good parents don’t raise children that feel like their existence is a problem

good parents don’t raise children that hate themselves

good parents don’t raise children that feel guilty over basic needs (food, clothes)

good parents don’t raise children who are paranoid about whether their parents are mad or not (not at the children, just mad/not happy in general)

good parents don’t raise children who think “if I don’t get mad at someone else and pin the blame on them first, someone will get mad at me”

good parents don’t raise children who can’t ask for things and just learned to passive-aggressively hint at stuff instead

good parent don’t raise children who cry with confusion and happiness the first time someone accommodates their needs because the concept is so alien to them

good parents don’t raise children who feel they need to apologize for basic needs

good parents don’t raise children who think that anytime there a fight they might as well go down swinging, metaphorically or literally, because they are going to be hurt no matter what they do

good parents don’t raise children who blame themselves for uncontrollable events

good parents don’t raise children who think if they don’t make everyone around them happy they are worthless

good parent don’t raise children who expect to be mocked and ridiculed by the ones they trust