I used to think i didn’t have any triggers. I’m an abuse survivor and i really thought maybe i came out of it just fine with no triggers.
Then a man slammed his hands on the desk beside me in frustration, he wasn’t angry at me he had just messed up something he was doing.
I froze, like literally froze, then tears started streaming and i was shaking.
I was so fucking upset and distraught, all i could manage to get out was “I didn’t like that.”
My body had a really surprising reaction and i guess i’m not as over my abuse as i’d like to think sometimes. I’m making this post to tell others things like this, triggers, they can pop up at any time.
Try to be patient, and understanding when someone has a reaction that you might not understand.
If you’re the person who was triggered, be patient with yourself.
Don’t be like me and blame yourself for overreacting.
Now i realize what it was that happened to me, and i’ll try to be better with myself in the future, and not blame myself immediately after.
It’s also possible to not even understand this are triggers. I used to think I just had “sudden mood swings” without realising the common thread because I was so deep into denying myself as a victim I couldn’t even recognise my own trauma.
They can appear long after trauma, they can be hard to recognise and it isn’t your fault.
reblogging for the comment. this explains so much.
I think Mr. C was maybe looking for a good excuse not to drag himself into work this morning. He was just about to put his jacket on to head out, and suddenly let out this huge sneeze.
“Well, from the sound of that, I guess I’m staying home!” *start taking off shoes*
(I had to get a little tickled, but yeah it was probably a good decision anyway, as sick as he was all weekend.)
“The findings indicate that forcing children with autism to look into someone’s eyes in behavioural therapy may create a lot of anxiety for them,” says Hadjikhani. We have been saying that for so many years, it’s nice to see someone actually making an effort to do the science. (Although it puzzles me why they don’t use eyetracking in the tests – it’s not a new thing.)
it’s amazing
science has finally confirmed that if you ask humans how they feel about a thing, and they tell you, they may actually have been right, relying on some kind of mysterious innate ability to discern their own experiences
This is the first damn time I’ve ever seen any allistic admit that autistic people feel bad when they make eye contact. Water may be wet, but at least I’ve got one more weapon when people try to tell me that it’s “impossible” for eye contact to hurt me.
why 99% of the time a picture of someone looking at me makes me deeply uncomfortable.
Does anyone feel like singing is their way of stimming?
When I’m bored or feel like I need to be stimulated, I just start singing a piece of a song I really like over and over again, just a bit that really calls to me and I just act like a record player on the fritz for 10 minutes. I do this alone, usually when I’m driving to or from school. I really like the feeling of belting out certain notes or channeling the vocals stabilizes me. Anyone else stim like this?
hoooboy yes I sing as a stim. I also echolale song lyrics quite frequently. 🤗
This doesn’t even apply to every school district within those counties.
2. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THE WINTER BREAK IS SCHEDULED AT THAT TIME IN THE FIRST PLACE? IT’S DELIBERATELY SCHEDULED AROUND CHRISTMAS YOU NITWIT
Ok but Christmas is celebrated by a lot of people who are not Christian in any way, shape, or form. Most of my friends are Atheist or Agnostic and they celebrate Christmas. The truth is that the holiday has been Secularized and is no longer seen as a purely Christian holiday.
However, one of the main Catholic (which is the main branch of Christianity) times of worship, Lent, is not a time that students have no school. I’ve had to go to school during Holy Week many times, and I’m a very devout Catholic. I’ve had testing, both from teachers and from the state. I’ve even had AP tests during Holy Week, which was difficult to balance with my religious obligations. However, we had most, if not all, of the Jewish Holidays off.
I️ realize this is not all over the country, but that’s the situation where I️ live
I️ think we should all work together and have all major holidays off for all religions, rather than borderline attack each other. That won’t help at all.
Atheist and Agnostic Jews (yes, we’re a thing) don’t celebrate Christmas. Atheist or Agnostic people from Hindu backgrounds don’t celebrate Christmas. When you talk about your “Atheist or Agnostic” friends who have Christmas, you mean secularised Christians. They’re non-religious people from Christian backgrounds still partaking in the cultural aspect of their people’s own holidays.
Just as non-religious, secular Jews still attend family Passover seders and go to Rosh Hashanah dinner, many non-religious Christmas celebrate Christmas and Easter. It’s only secular within the context of how you interact with your own religious group, not across the board. Christmas is not “secularised” for people who do not come from Christian backgrounds, it’s still Christian. The secularisation only plays a role if you’re lapsed from Christianity as a faith, not if you were never part of Christian culture or faith to begin with.
Stop saying things are blanketly secular when you mean they’re secularised for a specific group of people in a specific context, rather than for everyone.
Also, @ibdeath, the same reason schools have a winter break is the same reason they have a spring break. It used to be that spring break fell on Holy Week every year; it’s only been more recently as school actions have been challenged under the Establishment Clause that it has drifted away. This is because Easter, the only really important day during the week, is always on Sunday, whereas Christmas falls randomly throughout the week so (Christian) school administrators could claim happenstance and not Establishment for why they get their holy days off but not other religions.
While that may be true, winter break is also scheduled the way it is because of New Years.
I have some information for you about New Year’s Day and the Gregorian Calendar that you might want to sit down for…
when my parents were kids, they weren’t called winter and spring break. they were called christmas and easter break. that’s what they were called
That’s what they were informally called even when I was growing up (although, horrifyingly, I might be the same age as the above commenter’s parents). More importantly, while I do not know if the same is necessarily true for primary and secondary schools, many universities or at least individual professors will excuse absences or reschedule exams for students who talk to them ahead of time about holy days/religious holidays, so college students should be sure to look into that.
I hate when straight people talk about how we “should never assume anyone is gay!!” based on appearance/mannerism/behaviour/anything
But they never talk about how assuming everyone is straight is harming people!!!
Not letting us talk about gay aesthetics and traditions and culture is just another way to silence and isolate us 🙂
It’s so disingenuous, too. Like…I know I look gay, okay? I get called out and harassed by strangers all the time over my appearance. And I do most of it on purpose! This isn’t some high school movie ugly duckling narrative; lesbians aren’t awkward wallflowers wishing desperately that they could look like straight girls, if only they’d ever learned how. As if we could escape being taught! I’m a grown adult and I choose to look this way.
If you really don’t think there’s anything wrong with being gay, why do you think it’s the polite thing to pretend you don’t see it, especially since it’s how I wish to be seen?
This is such a good post, my god. Sometimes I feel so guilty for recognizing other queer folks by picking up the signals – aka, “assuming based on stereotypes” – but the reality is that most of us who do have those signs and signals are intentionally coding to find each other and be ourselves visibly and loudly.
I actually have a broken Gaydar. I have no idea what a lesbian looks like. For the longest time, I thought I was the only person in my group who was queer. Then I discovered in a conversation pretty much everyone was LGBT+. I ASSUME EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO LOOK FOR! AND BECAUSE OF IT I AM TERRIFIED TO ASK A GIRL OUT BECAUSE I CAN’T TELL IF SHE IS STRAIGHT OR NOT!
(It is easier to tell about a guy, though. I have been learning about them slowly.)
I have literally never skipped a class and have no idea how I could.
One time in high school I skipped advisory – which was not even a class, just a 20-minute check-in twice a week – because it was my birthday and I went to go eat cake with a friend in the band room or something and I literally got detention
Our high school was more anal about missing advisory than missing actual classes. It was almost funny how fussy they were about advisory.
But if you don’t show up to play ten minutes of board games, how will they know if you’re doing drugs?!
What’s “advisory”?
(This is a serious question; maybe this is a more recent development than my school years, but I’ve never heard this word in this context before.)
at least in my high school, you got assigned at the start of the year to an arbitrary ‘homeroom’/’advisory’ – a group of ~ten students and one teacher
homerooms would meet on certain days of the schedule in a dedicated time slot, with the idea that the homeroom would be, as @funereal-disease said upthread, and opportunity for the teacher to socially check in on the students in their homeroom and an opportunity for the students to socialize with some of their fellows they might not have met otherwise (since class sections and streaming generally mean that there’s some fraction of your grade you have no classes with and thus have less social exposure to)
(my high school was rather small, hence the ~ten students per homeroom; I imagine larger schools would have somewhat larger homerooms)
Homeroom meant something different in the old days (I was in high school in 1992-1996). You went there for the first 10 minutes or so of every day for attendance and announcements and such; in my school, you had the same homeroom teacher for all four years, but there was no advising function associated with it.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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