Tag: sexual harassment

bittersnurr:

technohumanlation:

emmersdrawberry:

bigbardafree:

the thing about being someone who’s never catcalled is that you start to wonder why like is it because im ugly???

and then you realize that youre judging your worth by whether or not you are objectifiable to a man and thats so fucked up like honestly its so fucked up 

but the worst part about the patriarchy is that it still sits at the back of your mind regardless like “nobody thinks youre pretty because they dont see you as a sex object” like somehow thats a desirable thing and it fucks me up

You’re either public property or completely invisible.

It sucks I related to this and it was finally put into words

Also I feel like it should be pointed out, it’s often not *just* the lack of sexual harassment. It often is combined with women gossiping about how they think you are ugly too. This is important because it’s not just about men, it’s about not being acceptable to women or being the designated “ugly friend”.

If you are a woman or dumped in that label as “close enough” your human worth is directly tied to your appearance. It’s not just men enforcing that. It’s not something you can avoid by sticking to women’s spaces and only being around girls.

Idk I have just had too many woman act like it’s disgusting I have self esteem problems from this but like, it’s not just guys lack of attention, it’s the fact women find me a fun target to beat up on to raise their own self esteem. But people will brush this stuff off as internalized sexism.

We have a major problem in general I think with this expectation this shit shouldn’t bother you because it is stupid. Like you shouldn’t worry about aging, you shouldn’t worry about fitting molds, you shouldn’t worry about how conventionally attractive you are… but rejecting that shit doesn’t make it go away. Society will still enforce it on you and if your self esteem isn’t good enough it will rip you apart. People shouldn’t have to feel guilty for caring about this shit when it has a DIRECT RELATION to how much of a person most people see you as.

One other thing I want to point out: how commonly sexual harassment is treated as only consisting of the “what, you can’t take a compliment?” catcalling variety.

And not so much the “you are such a disgusting freak, and we must loudly go into great detail about this at every opportunity” variations which tend to get thrown at marginalized people more. (Disability, sexuality, gender, you name it.) Which often seems to be far more gender neutral in terms of both targets and who is doing the harassing/assaulting.

Some pretty good discussion of a couple of people’s experiences with this, specifically influenced by disability:

Undesirable: Toxic Romantic Dreams, Disability, Sexuality and Relationships

And prompted by that post: Undesireability and sexual mockery (from autism meetups to high schools)

Instead, I got a series of messages that I was in fact a sexual being, but anything to do with my sexuality was gross and an object of mockery, or, to be used only for really fucked up fetishes for which I could become a fantasy object (but that was much later).

That type of sustained harassment can be brutal, and mess up your head longer term in some slightly different ways. Especially when it is coming from such a variety of your “peers”.

working-class-worm:

mediamattersforamerica:

On Tuesday, September 18, McDonald’s workers in 10 cities went on strike over sexual harassment. 

40 percent of women in the fast-food industry have experienced sexual harassment, but way too often their #metoo stories are left out of the conversation.

Workers in the U.S. are not eligible for SNAP if they are on strike. Every one of these workers is taking a HUGE risk to stand up to McDonald’s.

Calling out Female Abusers Shows That #MeToo Is Working

rapeculturerealities:

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “Nearly 1 in 10 men in the United States has experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner and reported at least one measured impact related to experiencing these or other forms of violent behavior in the relationship” and while most offenders of that are “predominantly male perpetrators” it doesn’t mean women can’t do it themselves. Especially when they have grown up being heavily sexualized and believe it to be “normal” behavior.

A study focusing on the way that female sexual assault perps are treated notes that:

“Female perpetration is downplayed among professionals in mental health, social work, public health, and law, with harmful results for male and female victims, in part due to these “stereotypical understandings of women as sexually harmless,” even as ongoing “heterosexism can render lesbian and bisexual victims of female-perpetrated sexual victimization invisible to professionals.”

Studies have also shown that when men are abused by female predators, they are less likely to report it, because “male victims may experience pressure to interpret sexual victimization by women in a way more consistent with masculinity ideals, such as the idea that men should relish any available opportunity for sex.”

None of this erases the fact that we have issues with men in authority abusing women, but feminism is not supposed to be about ignoring the problematic and awful things women in power do. Asia Argento and Avital Ronell do not undermine #MeToo—they stand as a reminder of the work that needs to be done, and a sign of progress that men now feel like they can come forward about sexual abuse no matter who perpetrated it.

read more

Calling out Female Abusers Shows That #MeToo Is Working

Terry Crews Speaks Out In Support Of Brendan Fraser

aegipan-omnicorn:

rootbeergoddess:

fgsshinyhoard:

the-collecting-turnip:

rootbeergoddess:

This is what I’m here for. Not only do we need men supporting women who come out about sexual abuse but we really need men supporting other men when they come forward about these stories. Like not only am I happy that Brendan came forward but I’m so proud of Terry for voicing his support of Brendan. This is huge.

Brendan Fraser was sexually assaulted!? What the fuck!

Back in 2003 he got sexually assaulted by the former president of the
Hollywood Foreign Press Association.  This was during the year “Looney Tunes: Back in Action” came out just to ruin that movie for everyone but nobody would listen to him.

Only last month he worked up the courage to try and contest and the HFPA just literally said “lmao it’s a prank bro get over it” which is pretty shitty to hear, so yes.

Yeah. Brendan deserves much better

I caught a germ, this week, when I bought something from my local pharmacy (just like the doctor’s office, that place is full of ‘em). So I’m a little brain-foggy.

But somewhere around Tumblr, I saw a link to an article about how this may be the real reason older actresses’ careers suddenly dry up. It’s not just the “aesthetic” of the young ingenue, but it’s that, as women mature, they’re less willing to put up with sexual harassment, and the “casting couch,” and get labeled a “Bad team player.”

I suggest we keep that in mind whenever any really talented rising star disappears off the radar. Instead of asking: “Were they a flash-in-the pan?’ We should ask: “Has an abuser pushed them out of the business?“

Also: Brendan Fraser was set to play Superman? That’s the Clark Kent I want to see.

Terry Crews Speaks Out In Support Of Brendan Fraser

Former flight attendant draws attention to sexual harassment in airline industry

sincere-serene:

allthecanadianpolitics:

On Friday, Mandalena Lewis returned to her former workplace at Vancouver International Airport, with the goal of raising awareness of sexual harassment toward flight attendants and other women working in the airline industry.

The former flight attendant initially set up shop inside the airport to hand out pamphlets about her campaign, #youcrewandmetoo — but was asked by security to move outside the building.

“What I’m doing here is showing up, I’m here to show solidarity because I don’t think anyone from the airline industry has stood up to what’s going on. I’m not afraid,” Lewis said. “I just feel like now is the right time to be doing this … enough is enough.”

Continue Reading.

listen y’all I literally have had so many instances of sexual harassment since i started and i can’t do anything bc flight attendants are so replaceable

Former flight attendant draws attention to sexual harassment in airline industry

t3trahedron:

heavenearthandhoratio:

dollsonmain:

sevensneakyfoxes:

thewriterchick:

dealyndus:

thentheysaidburnher:

datarep:

Age that women first noticed men were looking at them sexually

by Teelo888

Girls don’t get childhood. They get girlhood.

Because I don’t want to see any comments after this reblog on how it’s perfectly normal for boys to start noticing girls when they’re all going through puberty – this graph is based on women’s responses to an /r/AskReddit thread that specifically mention grown, adult men. 

I remember doing a shift at my work experience placement in a bookstore and some grown man (he was starting to grey around the beard) came up to me while I was stocking the shelves. He was asking if I always worked in the History section and I said no, I stock all over the store (duh?) and suddenly went from zero to a hundred by asking “What time do you get off work? Can I take you for coffee?” 

The feeling was instantaneous – hot and cold at the same time. Your stomach curdles and chills while your skin heats and feels like it’s melting away. My whole face turned red and all I wanted to do was vomit.  “I am fourteen years old.”

He looked embarrassed as hell.

… And yet …

“What? No, you can’t be.”

“… BUT I AM. I AM FOURTEEN YEARS OLD.”

“Bullshit, where’s your ID?”

“SIR, the only ID she has is from her JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL.”  My (male) manager had walked up behind me (he later said he heard me say my age the first time around and came running over). “She’s a minor. She doesn’t have to show you anything. Can I help you with something? Do you need help with a purchase?”

The word ‘minor’ set this guy off and he started ranting about how I was leading him on. Another customer (probably in his 20s) overheard it all, looked at me and back at the guy, obviously determined that I was not in my twenties, sneered and went “Gross, dude” – which, yeah, but that set this creep off even more. My manager and another male employee ended up walking him out.

I will fucking love that manager until the end of days for stepping in like that – but unfortunately nothing will take away that cold, gut wrenching feeling a young girl gets hit on by a man twice her age.

I was fourteen, in the Bahamas on vacation, and a full-grown man tried to lure me away from the table where I was waiting for my mother who was in the washroom.  I was timid and shy and had absolutely no idea what his motives were, but in retrospect, best case scenario, he wanted me to have sex with him.  Don’t want to think about the worst case scenario. 

I looked mature for my age, but he ASKED ME MY AGE AND I TOLD HIM AND HE CONTINUED TO PURSUE IT.

Thank the fucking lord my mother returned a minute later and had a fucking meltdown when she saw what was going on.  

If men want to complain about how they’re always seen as predators, this  graph is  a good fucking example of why most women do.  I guarantee you that most women have one or two stories like this.

I used to ride on the back of my step-dad’s motorcycle sometimes (he’s like 6′2″ and over 200 lbs, I was 5′4″ and about 110) and one time this guy pulled up beside us and says to him “That’s a hot piece of ass you got back there!”

Dad raised his visor slowly.

“THAT IS MY DAUGHTER. SHE IS TEN.”

“Oh shit…. Sorry…”

I hadn’t even hit puberty, yet.

I was reading through all of the comments on this post, most of them echoing similar stories about harrassment at very young ages by much older men. But i noticed a few people trying to argue with the source and stats. So here. This isn’t just coming from reddit. 

A new report, taking in 22 countries, shows that on average 84 per cent of women are harassed on the street before they turn 17. Over 16,000 women were surveyed. It found that most women experienced harassment for the first time between the ages 11 and 17. source

more. more. more. 

Both photos from the first source

Source: datarep

heavenearthandhoratio:

dollsonmain:

sevensneakyfoxes:

thewriterchick:

dealyndus:

thentheysaidburnher:

datarep:

Age that women first noticed men were looking at them sexually

by Teelo888

Girls don’t get childhood. They get girlhood.

Because I don’t want to see any comments after this reblog on how it’s perfectly normal for boys to start noticing girls when they’re all going through puberty – this graph is based on women’s responses to an /r/AskReddit thread that specifically mention grown, adult men. 

I remember doing a shift at my work experience placement in a bookstore and some grown man (he was starting to grey around the beard) came up to me while I was stocking the shelves. He was asking if I always worked in the History section and I said no, I stock all over the store (duh?) and suddenly went from zero to a hundred by asking “What time do you get off work? Can I take you for coffee?” 

The feeling was instantaneous – hot and cold at the same time. Your stomach curdles and chills while your skin heats and feels like it’s melting away. My whole face turned red and all I wanted to do was vomit.  “I am fourteen years old.”

He looked embarrassed as hell.

… And yet …

“What? No, you can’t be.”

“… BUT I AM. I AM FOURTEEN YEARS OLD.”

“Bullshit, where’s your ID?”

“SIR, the only ID she has is from her JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL.”  My (male) manager had walked up behind me (he later said he heard me say my age the first time around and came running over). “She’s a minor. She doesn’t have to show you anything. Can I help you with something? Do you need help with a purchase?”

The word ‘minor’ set this guy off and he started ranting about how I was leading him on. Another customer (probably in his 20s) overheard it all, looked at me and back at the guy, obviously determined that I was not in my twenties, sneered and went “Gross, dude” – which, yeah, but that set this creep off even more. My manager and another male employee ended up walking him out.

I will fucking love that manager until the end of days for stepping in like that – but unfortunately nothing will take away that cold, gut wrenching feeling a young girl gets hit on by a man twice her age.

I was fourteen, in the Bahamas on vacation, and a full-grown man tried to lure me away from the table where I was waiting for my mother who was in the washroom.  I was timid and shy and had absolutely no idea what his motives were, but in retrospect, best case scenario, he wanted me to have sex with him.  Don’t want to think about the worst case scenario. 

I looked mature for my age, but he ASKED ME MY AGE AND I TOLD HIM AND HE CONTINUED TO PURSUE IT.

Thank the fucking lord my mother returned a minute later and had a fucking meltdown when she saw what was going on.  

If men want to complain about how they’re always seen as predators, this  graph is  a good fucking example of why most women do.  I guarantee you that most women have one or two stories like this.

I used to ride on the back of my step-dad’s motorcycle sometimes (he’s like 6′2″ and over 200 lbs, I was 5′4″ and about 110) and one time this guy pulled up beside us and says to him “That’s a hot piece of ass you got back there!”

Dad raised his visor slowly.

“THAT IS MY DAUGHTER. SHE IS TEN.”

“Oh shit…. Sorry…”

I hadn’t even hit puberty, yet.

I was reading through all of the comments on this post, most of them echoing similar stories about harrassment at very young ages by much older men. But i noticed a few people trying to argue with the source and stats. So here. This isn’t just coming from reddit. 

A new report, taking in 22 countries, shows that on average 84 per cent of women are harassed on the street before they turn 17. Over 16,000 women were surveyed. It found that most women experienced harassment for the first time between the ages 11 and 17. source

more. more. more. 

Source: datarep

Opinion | I’m a female chef. Here’s how my restaurant dealt with harassment from customers.

shrewreadings:

girlsmoonsandstars:

heringstuff:

The catalyst was a customer — ­ a father of four who had put his hand up the shirt of a busser clearing his family’s table. The busser was so stunned she didn’t report it, but the event sparked a flood of reactions from staff members who’d had similar experiences. At our meeting, women shared stories about harassment from customers and said that when they tried to report it to male managers, they were often ignored because the incidents seemed unthreatening through a male lens.

We decided on a color-coded system in which different types of customer behavior are categorized as yellow, orange or red. Yellow refers to a creepy vibe or unsavory look. Orange means comments with sexual undertones, such as certain compliments on a worker’s appearance. Red signals overtly sexual comments or touching, or repeated incidents in the orange category after being told the comments were unwelcome.

When a staff member has a harassment problem, they report the color — “I have an orange at table five” — and the manager is required to take a specific action. If red is reported, the customer is ejected from the restaurant. Orange means the manager takes over the table. With a yellow, the manager must take over the table if the staff member chooses. In all cases, the manager’s response is automatic, no questions asked. (At the time of our meeting, all our shift managers were men, though their supervisors were women; something else we’ve achieved since then is diversifying each layer of management.)

In the years since implementation, customer harassment has ceased to be a problem. Reds are nearly nonexistent, as most sketchy customers seem to be derailed at yellow or orange. We found that most customers test the waters before escalating and that women have a canny sixth sense for unwanted attention. When reds do occur, our employees are empowered to act decisively.

The color system is elegant because it prevents women from having to relive damaging stories and relieves managers of having to make difficult judgment calls about situations that might not seem threatening based on their own experiences. The system acknowledges the differences in the ways men and women experience the world, while creating a safe workplace.

Brilliant. 

And to support her brilliance, I’ll be buying her cookbook,  Mac and Cheese. 

(Goodreads link here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16169870-the-mac-cheese-cookbook)

Opinion | I’m a female chef. Here’s how my restaurant dealt with harassment from customers.

appalachian-ace:

glumshoe:

everyone says “flexibile people are sexy” but when I bend my elbows backwards and put my feet on my head suddenly it’s all “body horror” and “someone grab the salt”

I have actually used the fact I can put the insides of my elbow joints together in front of me to stop sexual harassment. He was too horrified to keep touching me.