lj-writes:

jewishcomeradebot:

nutheadgee:

oldmanyellsatcloud:

nirnnet:

Death to the Empire!

AS FEARLESS IN DEATH

AS HE WAS IN LIFE

Bitch why is everyone just staring at him as he runs off WTF

Is this guy part chicken or something?

Though tbqh, if I saw a decapitated guy grab his ax and run off while yellingĀ ā€œDeath to the Empireā€, I’m not sure I’d be capable of doing more that stand and stare with my mouth open.

I showed this to my husband and evidently it’s a Skyrim bug exploit where you can pardon a guy just as the axe is coming down, so the guy is alive by virtue of being exonerated but still beheaded by sheer inertia. And uh… bursting with aggro from the looks of it. I am told you can make an army of invincible headless warriors this way.

youngnoblewoman:

blood-splattered-satisfaction:

persephones-flowers:

benepla:

perifucker:

benepla:

benepla:

i think the best practical joke any video game pulled was Skyrim opening their game making you think the rebellion was this amazing noble cause against an oppressive government (as most fantasy universes frame it), but then you pretty much immediately find out that the stormcloaks are just racists with swords and the empire isn’t really all that terrible save your standard government problems.Ā 

yall are gonna have to stop sending me messages about how im an imperial government of tamriel apologist

the greybeards aren’t any help either. or the blades. Skyrim is just a bunch of rednecks who hate each other.

THE DARK BROTHERHOOD WAS GOOD TO EVERYONE

they killed people for money

But at least they weren’t racist about it

I was a khajit so both sides were racist to me from the start and I saw the imperial torturer dude so I was likeĀ ā€œfuck this war I’m not joining either of youā€ and wandered off and did what I wanted and I’m still not sure whether or not that was what the game was trying to get me to do.

wastelandmae:

lady-feral:

anotherconfusedfuck:

fueled-by-nightcore:

unrepentantwarriorpriest:

I can respect that.

this is the realest reason to use one handed weapons.

Here’s why all of you who have Skyrim for PC should ABSOLUTELY install the Inigo follower mod, even if it’s your only mod. It’s the cat man saying the line in this screenshot, and he has tons of equally wonderful lines just like this.

This fucker has thousands of lines of dialogue. He is the only character
in the game, modded or otherwise, that feels like an actual character
and not a cardboard cutout complaining about the cold.

And yes, he is fully voiced.

Some things to know about Inigo

  • He’s openly and vocally anti-racism, and he will make sure you know it.

  • He’s a recovered skooma addict that survived a suicide attempt and travels with you to help himself find redemption for his past.
  • He will be concerned for you if you’re carrying skooma in your inventory
  • If you sit with him in an inn and know him well enough, he will let you vent to him about being depressed, and he will do his best to hear you out and help you feel better.
  • He has a friend he carries with him everywhere named Mr. Dragonfly. If Mr. Dragonfly is in his inventory, he will occasionally tell you what he’s thinking.
  • If Mr. Dragonfly is not with him, he will be sad and ask if he can have him back. He’ll be sure to let you know that it’s not personal, but he and Mr. Dragonfly are really good friends.
  • Give him back his dragonfly friend you monster.
  • he WONT TALK TO YOU WHILE YOU’RE SNEAKING

tl;dr go download Inigo and you’ll never use another follower again

I need this version of Skyrim

I fucking love Inigo, but just to add to these very excellent points: DO consider taking him out with another follower, because chances are if they are a/ vanilla b/ use a vanilla voice type (ie the generic followers you can download that just have Lydia’s voice or whatever) or c/ are the fantastic Vilja mod and you introduce them through Vilja’s dialogue, they will interact! (I don’t *think* he has interactions with any other custom-voiced followers, but I could be wrong.)

Like, he will chat to them, and they will chat back.

He teases Lydia a bit, but after a while travelling together, they seem a bit more friendly. His conversations with the vanilla/vanilla-voiced followers are made by picking and choosing from their existing lines and then the mod author wrote and recorded lines to go with them to make conversations (Vilja also does this, and I’m pretty sure if you have, say, Vilja, Inigo and Marcurio, sometimes they have chats together, or at least it sure feels like it.)Ā 

He has some excellent banters (in the fun, Dragon Age party sense, not the horrible jerks being mean and then yelling IT’S JUST BANTER sense, of course) with Vilja, as the authors of the two mods worked together to write and record custom conversations.Ā 

He even talks to the vanilla dogs. The first time I played with the most recent version of Inigo, along with Vilja, I was absolutely gobsmacked when we were running around the wilderness and Meeko was lagging behind, nowhere to be seen, and the first I noticed of this was when <i>Inigo</i> started calling for Meeko (something likeĀ ā€˜Meeko! Where is that silly dog?! Oh, <i>there</i> you are!’) I’m honestly not sure that wasn’t somehow a scripted event, but either way, it was ruddy impressive.

Oh, and if you want, you can buy him his own horse (by buying an extra horse from one of the stables, I think you can also give him *some* mod-added horses, though I’d recommend sticking with vanilla – Shadowmere and Frost work, too) and he will thank you in a very sincere sort of way, ride the horse, give them a name (or I think Shadowmere and Frost get to keep their existing names?) and even *sing* about riding when he’s doing so!

Also, the mod author seems to be a really nice dude, which is always good.

lady-feral:

anotherconfusedfuck:

fueled-by-nightcore:

unrepentantwarriorpriest:

I can respect that.

this is the realest reason to use one handed weapons.

Here’s why all of you who have Skyrim for PC should ABSOLUTELY install the Inigo follower mod, even if it’s your only mod. It’s the cat man saying the line in this screenshot, and he has tons of equally wonderful lines just like this.

This fucker has thousands of lines of dialogue. He is the only character
in the game, modded or otherwise, that feels like an actual character
and not a cardboard cutout complaining about the cold.

And yes, he is fully voiced.

Some things to know about Inigo

  • He’s openly and vocally anti-racism, and he will make sure you know it.

  • He’s a recovered skooma addict that survived a suicide attempt and travels with you to help himself find redemption for his past.
  • He will be concerned for you if you’re carrying skooma in your inventory
  • If you sit with him in an inn and know him well enough, he will let you vent to him about being depressed, and he will do his best to hear you out and help you feel better.
  • He has a friend he carries with him everywhere named Mr. Dragonfly. If Mr. Dragonfly is in his inventory, he will occasionally tell you what he’s thinking.
  • If Mr. Dragonfly is not with him, he will be sad and ask if he can have him back. He’ll be sure to let you know that it’s not personal, but he and Mr. Dragonfly are really good friends.
  • Give him back his dragonfly friend you monster.
  • he WONT TALK TO YOU WHILE YOU’RE SNEAKING

tl;dr go download Inigo and you’ll never use another follower again

I need this version of Skyrim

taibhsearachd:

ruffboijuliaburnsides:

jessicalockeisveryconfused:

ruffboijuliaburnsides:

taibhsearachd:

So apparently in Skyrim, if you just eat all your stolen items in between the ā€œwait I know youā€ and actually getting arrested, the guard will just… walk away???

I LEGITIMATELY DOWNLOADED AND INSTALLED SKYRIM JUST TO TEST THIS.

I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING AFTERWARDS.

You do know you can just… keep walking, right? Also why are you only stealing food items???

1) it’s not about the fact that you can keep walking

2) it’s not about playing properly only stealing food

It’s about CAN YOU, if your only stolen items are food, eat them all and get out of being arrested. The answer is yes.

If you’re trying to make this into some sort of logic or reason thing you are not playing Skyrim correctly my dude.

It’s about the mental image of a guard starting to apprehend you, watching you devour three cheese wheels in like half a second (presumably looking him dead in the eyes as you do), and deciding that he is not getting paid enough to deal with this bullshit.

taibhsearachd:

ruffboijuliaburnsides:

jessicalockeisveryconfused:

ruffboijuliaburnsides:

taibhsearachd:

So apparently in Skyrim, if you just eat all your stolen items in between the ā€œwait I know youā€ and actually getting arrested, the guard will just… walk away???

I LEGITIMATELY DOWNLOADED AND INSTALLED SKYRIM JUST TO TEST THIS.

I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING AFTERWARDS.

You do know you can just… keep walking, right? Also why are you only stealing food items???

1) it’s not about the fact that you can keep walking

2) it’s not about playing properly only stealing food

It’s about CAN YOU, if your only stolen items are food, eat them all and get out of being arrested. The answer is yes.

If you’re trying to make this into some sort of logic or reason thing you are not playing Skyrim correctly my dude.

It’s about the mental image of a guard starting to apprehend you, watching you devour three cheese wheels in like half a second (presumably looking him dead in the eyes as you do), and deciding that he is not getting paid enough to deal with this bullshit.