the thing about being someone who’s never catcalled is that you start to wonder why like is it because im ugly???
and then you realize that youre judging your worth by whether or not you are objectifiable to a man and thats so fucked up like honestly its so fucked up
but the worst part about the patriarchy is that it still sits at the back of your mind regardless like “nobody thinks youre pretty because they dont see you as a sex object” like somehow thats a desirable thing and it fucks me up
You’re either public property or completely invisible.
It sucks I related to this and it was finally put into words
Also I feel like it should be pointed out, it’s often not *just* the lack of sexual harassment. It often is combined with women gossiping about how they think you are ugly too. This is important because it’s not just about men, it’s about not being acceptable to women or being the designated “ugly friend”.
If you are a woman or dumped in that label as “close enough” your human worth is directly tied to your appearance. It’s not just men enforcing that. It’s not something you can avoid by sticking to women’s spaces and only being around girls.
Idk I have just had too many woman act like it’s disgusting I have self esteem problems from this but like, it’s not just guys lack of attention, it’s the fact women find me a fun target to beat up on to raise their own self esteem. But people will brush this stuff off as internalized sexism.
We have a major problem in general I think with this expectation this shit shouldn’t bother you because it is stupid. Like you shouldn’t worry about aging, you shouldn’t worry about fitting molds, you shouldn’t worry about how conventionally attractive you are… but rejecting that shit doesn’t make it go away. Society will still enforce it on you and if your self esteem isn’t good enough it will rip you apart. People shouldn’t have to feel guilty for caring about this shit when it has a DIRECT RELATION to how much of a person most people see you as.
One other thing I want to point out: how commonly sexual harassment is treated as only consisting of the “what, you can’t take a compliment?” catcalling variety.
And not so much the “you are such a disgusting freak, and we must loudly go into great detail about this at every opportunity” variations which tend to get thrown at marginalized people more. (Disability, sexuality, gender, you name it.) Which often seems to be far more gender neutral in terms of both targets and who is doing the harassing/assaulting.
Some pretty good discussion of a couple of people’s experiences with this, specifically influenced by disability:
Instead, I got a series of messages that I was in fact a sexual being, but anything to do with my sexuality was gross and an object of mockery, or, to be used only for really fucked up fetishes for which I could become a fantasy object (but that was much later).
That type of sustained harassment can be brutal, and mess up your head longer term in some slightly different ways. Especially when it is coming from such a variety of your “peers”.
Pleasant surprise: the Amazon delivery guy came back a few minutes ago, instead of waiting for tomorrow! And we’re better set for cooking.
(Plus a few other things like shoe insoles, but I was particularly glad to see these because I wanted to use some of the oyster sauce tonight.)
I was glad to find some celiac-friendly Chinese soy sauce, because all I can find locally now is Kikkoman. Which is a lot better than nothing, but a pretty different flavor profile. I also added a liter bottle of the Kikkoman when I saw it, because why not. Glad to more readily be able to get the smaller bottles, but they don’t last that long.
And hopefully I can remember not to basically hoard back the oyster sauce this time. The last one sat in the fridge until it molded, with about half the bottle left 🙄
Think an issue with it is that everyone sees racism as purely skin colour. Racism is abhorrent in all forms, but people tend to jump into ‘whataboutery’ when different types of racism is mentioned whether that’s skin colour, or nationality.
We should be able to have a discussion about anti-Irish racism, without having pull all the other types in some form of comparison. It can be sensibly framed in the conversation but ‘this racism overrules that racism’ is a stupid mindset.
I also think, and correct me if I’m wrong on this, quite a lot of the ‘this is anti-white racism’ crew automatically jump on anti-Irish racism as if it’s some form of shield they can use to prevent them from addressing issues with other types of racism.
I’m not American so don’t know for sure, but I know in EU law there’s specific ruling on discrimination against nationalities etc.
@bubblepunk99s Just so we’re clear, under the Equality Act 2010 defines Race Discrimination as being treated unfairly because of one of the following:
Colour
Nationality
Ethnic Origin
National Origin
Nationality is based on citizenship or membership of a particular nation.
National Origins are a connection to a country or nation through birth. An example of this would be a citizen from Japan, moving to Ireland, and acquiring Irish citizenship. Their nationality would be Irish but their national origins are Japanese.
Ethnic Origin is if you are part of an ethnic group, which the law defines as a people who share the same history and cultural traditions. These could be the same language, religion, literature, geographical origin, being an oppressed group, and being a minority.
For clarification the courts have said Irish Travellers, Jews, Romany Gypsies, and Sikhs are all ethnic groups.
The law goes on to state that people can be part of several racial groups. If you are a British citizen with Jamaican parents, it is possible you could be discriminated against because of your nationality, your Jamaican national origins or the colour of your skin.
Hope that clarifies things. I understand that other parts of the world would see some aspects as xenophobic and other parts as racist.
In Europe, xenoracism (which “others” all immigrants, but definitely takes on racial dimensions for people who cannot pass as the local dominant ethnic majority) and ethno-nationalism (which elevates things like a specifically “Slavic” identity and “look” in Russia, “Englishness” and Anglo features in England, etc.), creates a completely different landscape for race and conceptions of “partial” and “full” whiteness.
Xenoracism is totally a thing, also speaking from personal experience. These social constructions have not worked exactly the same everywhere and everywhen.
One that struck me as kind of funny, in a “familiar enough word that I never really thought about the etymology” way. Especially since the Scots “skitters” coming ultimately from Norse skíta somehow passes for MUCH more polite back home than saying somebody has the shits. 😉 When that is still precisely what you’re saying.
Apparently “skitters” is another one that made it into Geordie and Yorkshire dialects, too.
Hadn’t even thought of it in terms of the Anglo-Saxon sk->sh shift before, though I’d noticed other examples especially from Dutch.
I actually wondered about that one after following a link to “Inflections and putting spaces where they don’t belong” for modern Swedish( http://goo.gl/MpLWIk ), with “Skit gott” vs. “Skitgott”. 🙂
Reminded of this one again. Maybe my favorite borrowing.
People with messy cars full of garbage are actually pretty good people because they don’t throw their garbage out the window
in high school i was once out with a guy who threw a can out the window and i made my date go back and pick it up
edit: in retrospect this sounds like one of those ‘the whole bus applauded’ stories but no, i’m just a very bossy person and throwing trash out the window is appalling, his feelings were hurt but i was not sorry
If u throw an apple core or something like that out the window, ok, it’s biodegradable and it’d stink up your car if you left it in, it’ll decay fast enough it’s not gonna be a problem.
If u throw cans/bottles/candy wrappers out the window what the actual fuck is wrong with you.
I’m five foot nine. My hair is long and it’s dark brown. I wear leather a great deal, high boots always, and sometimes glove-soft vests and even leather skirts now and then, and I wear lace, especially when I can find the kind I like: intricate, very old-fashioned lace, snow white. I have light skin that tans easily, large breasts, and long legs. And though I don’t feel beautiful and never have, I know that I am. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be a trainer at The Club.
–Exit to Eden by Anne Rice (aka Rampling), 1985
Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
*”Rampling” was Rice’s pseudonym while she was writing erotica, mainly for this and the Sleeping Beauty quartet
i mean ….
lestat is on the my immortal train too lol
Anne Rice hates fanfiction! My Immortal is a satire of fanfiction about the fiction from an author who hates fanfiction. This makes everything even better.
This is just more evidence that you could teach a full semester course on My Immortal.
Add this to the ‘My Immortal was a troll all along’ evidence pile
I am absurdly, pettily happy that it’s Anne Rice getting slammed with the My Immortal comparisons.
(Is it me or does “My Immortal” sound very like the sort of title an Anne Rice book would have?)
Have we considered the possibility that Anne Rice actually wrote My Immortal?
:: squints ::
Y’know, the theory of Anne Rice having written My Immortal is nowhere NEAR as cracky as her last book was …
I didn’t know what the hell “My Immortal” was referring to for a long time and I just ASSUMED it was an Anne Rice novel by all the quotes I saw.
Anne Rice being the secret author of My Immortal is actually… not a bad theory? I mean, we know she HATES fanfiction, but also seeks it out (at least well enough to sue them) so she has some knowledge of fandom and probably of some of the styles/themes of the time. I could totally see her writing My Immortal in the dead of night, trying to wrap up every single thing she hates about fanfiction in one terribly-written package.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
You must be logged in to post a comment.