“children all move a lot and have difficulty paying attention wich is proof that adhd doesn’t exist. Also adult adhd whomst?”
reblogging for the word “whomst” –
Also: by that same logic: No babies can walk on their own. Therefore, cerebral palsy does not exist.
Things that can be equally true, simultaneously:
1) ADHD is real, and people of whatever age who have it need appropriate accommodation and treatment.
2) Sometimes, people of whatever age who have ADHD are never diagnosed, and just called “lazy,” instead. Because it’s easier to blame the person than get the proper diagnosis and offer accommodation.
3) Sometimes, people of whatever age (but especially children, because they are marginalized in this society, and have little autonomy regarding life circumstances) are incorrectly diagnosed with ADHD, because doctors don’t have or take the time to examine more complex symptoms and situations, and jump to conclusions too quickly.
If you’re going to be giving advice on how to get better at something – and I’m thinking particularly of visual art, but applies to just about anything – then the key thing to understand is that most of the time, the reason that beginners don’t practice isn’t because they’re too lazy or because they’re looking for shortcuts, but because they don’t know how.
Engaging in productive practice is, itself, a skill that must be learned. Without it, what you’re doing isn’t practice: it’s just repetition, and all repetition does is reinforce existing shortcomings. If you’re good at what you do, you’ve probably sufficiently internalised that skill of how-to-practice that you don’t even realise you have it – which is a big problem when it comes to helping others improve!
Folks don’t need to be told to practice. They need to be told how to practice. There’s really no such thing as too much detail here – stuff that seems obvious to you almost certainly isn’t.
As a 90′s kid, it blows my mind that origami youtube videos exist. You can look up any model and watch a pair of manicured hands assemble the thing in real time, in full color, in 3D, with cheerful flute music in the background. When I was little, you had a library book with no words and these esoteric little dotted lines and arrows and it was just you, your hands, your paper, and the cruel, uncaring eyes of God.
I think one reason we are fatigued a lot of the time is because we are constantly fighting. Fighting to be heard, to get the right treatment or referrals or just fighting to keep our heads above water. If this is you today, don’t give up and take encouragement that you are not going through this alone.
Gotta love the proposed solutions to other people’s problems which largely seem to consist of, “Have you considered adopting my set of priorities instead? Because that’s the best way to human.”
Ran across this again, while looking for something else. Always relevant, unfortunately.
You don’t have to be grateful that it isn’t worse.
read that.
read it again, and again, and again.
somebody, somewhere, always has it worse than you. there is one person on this planet that has it the worst of all, and that person is NOT the only person allowed to be unhappy with their lot.
if things are bad for you, they are bad for you. period.
This goes for trauma as well. A lot of times survivors get trapped in a cycle of minimizing/diminishing their trauma because “other people have it worse” – but there is no hierarchy of trauma. There is no ranking system for which traumas are “better” or “worse.” Your trauma is valid. Period.
IMPORTANT TRUTHS.
As a therapist, lemme just say: almost every trauma survivor I’ve ever had has at some point said “But I didn’t have it as bad as some people” and then talked about how other types of trauma are worse. Even my most-traumatized, most-abused, most psychologically-injured clients say this.
The ones who were cheated on, abandoned, and neglected say this. The ones who were in dangerous accidents/disasters say this. The ones who were horrifyingly sexually abused say this. The ones who were brutally beaten say this. The ones who were psychologically tortured for decades say this. What does that tell you? That one of the typicalside-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.
Don’t buy into it, because it’s nonsense. It doesn’t matter if someone else had it “worse.” Every person who experiences a trauma deserves to get the attention and care they need to heal from it.
“one of the typicalside-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.”
if abled people spent even half the amount of time supporting disabled people that they spend ‘calling out the fakes’ the world would be a much a better place for disabled people.
I don’t see how it’s unsupportive to expose people utilizing resources and garnering false sympathies who do not need those resources or sympathies. If anything it frees up those services for people who legitimately need them.
Of course! But the problem is that people take it upon themselves to go after absolutely anyone who is disabled and requires services, and us disabled people end up having to constantly (literally on a daily basis) explain and justify our needs. I think people think it’s very easy to get gov assistance, when that is completely not the case. It takes years, a lot of money and time, and a whole lot of proof. It’s super stressful to go through the whole process, and then every year/few years you gotta do it all again and reprove yourself. Most people have no issue with the gov keeping tabs on it all, since we don’t want people misusing it, but when regular people try to do the governments job, that’s where I have a problem.
Plus, they’re never kind about it! It’s always done in a horribly rude and sometimes actually scary way. You shouldn’t be forced to divulge your whole medical history to every person on the street (or in whatever institution you need access too, even though it’s illegal, people don’t care and do it anyways). 💜
@fightinginthenameofnothing I understand what you are saying, if someone is genuinely faking an illness to use resources they don’t need and you are 1000% sure they are not genuine then sure, expose them, call them out.
The problem with this whole “exposing the fake disabled” culture, like @fogblogger says, is that people are going after anyone on disability, anyone using disabled badges or getting any extra help/support etc.
I have been attacked for using my disabled badge, harassed when people see me walking because that must mean I am not disabled. I am in constant fear of people accusing me of lying and just being a lazy scrounger (all these things have been said to me in the past) and I even have severe anxiety as a result. People have taken this whole thing too far and so many genuinely disabled people are being harassed and abused because of it. This may have started with good intentions but is turning into a hate crime against the disabled.
People are even being investigated by the government because they’ve been reported as falsely claiming benefits. The governments own figures show that most of the people reported are genuine and they’ve just wasted all that tax payer money investigating someone who didn’t deserve to be investigated in the first place.
Obviously I would like the people who are not genuine and taking resources from those who need it to be caught out but if I had choose between protecting the disabled community as a whole or trying to catch out the 0.7% (actual figure of people in the UK fraudulently claiming benefits). I would rather one person get away with benefit fraud than risk hurting thousands of disabled people in a witch hunt to “catch out the fakes”
The public have no right to judge every single disabled person who needs help. It is not up to them to decide who is or isn’t disabled. We go through enough stress trying to prove that we need the help in the first place. We undergo assessments, Appeals, medical tests.
This is culture is not even helping to stop benefit fraud, it is just harming the most vulnerable people in society. disabled people don’t deserve this constant harassment and fear of losing their support just because some asshole on a power trip thinks that they can stop benefit fraud by going after vulnerable people.
Instead of trying to make sure “fakes” aren’t taking up limited resources, why not spend that same time and effort building more resources?
Also looking at the UK, with its ongoing austerity dumpster fire and encouraged easy anonymous reporting:
DWP also admit they don’t record how many people make malicious allegations – mainly due to the anonymity they provide accusers – and take no action (legal or otherwise against those who do.
There seems to be a large disparity between this and public perception: an Ipsos Mori survey in 2013 found the public believed 24% of benefits were fraudulently claimed – 34 times greater than the level seen in official statistics.
From last month (October 2017), and not at all unconnected:
Of course, it’s not as if the ones harassing and assaulting disabled strangers can even know who may or may not be receiving benefits at all, much less how legitimately. Just being disabled in public is plenty. Scroungers by default. It’s an unfortunately socially acceptable excuse for abusive behavior wrapped up in resentment. Self-righteousness can be one hell of a drug.
And letting other people go about their business without interrogation and harassment should be the default. That includes everyone.
Instead of trying to make sure “fakes” aren’t taking up limited resources, why not spend the same time and effort building more resources?
I mean, there are some obvious reasons the government would prefer to scapegoat us all as drains on society, but “concerned citizens” really don’t need to do so much of the dirty work for them. It’s really not in anyone’s best interest to keep squabbling over crumbs.
Here is one thing that I tell my students about competitions, which I think is absolutely crucial:
Your horse always gives you the best he has. Sometimes his best isn’t as good as other times, due to factors such as stress, fatigue, discomfort, fear, confusion – but know this: your horse is never willfully withholding something from you.
Similarly, you are always riding your best. Sometimes your best is not as good as other times, due to factors such as performance anxiety, nerves, excitement, frustration, fatigue, physical discomfort, distraction. Some of these things you may be able to get control over if you realize they are happening. Some of them you may not be able to fix in a few minutes, or even a few sessions.
So if you go to a show and you screw up because you were nervous and that made you stiff and restricted your horse’s movement and he didn’t score as high as you thought he could based on how he performs at home, take that as feedback for something to work on. Do not get discouraged and say, “I didn’t ride as well as I could.” Yes, you did. Your anxiety is a legitimate factor that inhibits your performance. You rode as well as you could given your anxiety. Do not beat yourself up – berating or shaming yourself is not a positive or constructive use of your time and energies. Instead, think of ways to improve your experience next time.
Similarly, if you go to a competition and your horse is stiff or tired from the journey, or tense and distracted in a new environment, do NOT get discouraged and say, “my horse wasn’t as good as he could be.” Yes, he was. He was the very best he could be given his nerves, or given his fatigue. He could not have been better on this day, with these factors influencing him. Accept that, praise him, and find a way to help him overcome these factors next time. Maybe he needs better fitness at home so that the journey doesn’t tire him so much. Maybe he needs a better warm-up next time. Maybe he needs more experience traveling and being exposed to different things. Whatever it is, don’t hold it against him, and don’t hold it against yourself. You both did your best. Training yourself and your horse for competitions is a process. I find that this simple shift in attitude makes competing and training so much more fun and fulfilling.
“I didn’t ride as well as I could.” Yes, you did. Your anxiety is a legitimate factor that inhibits your performance.
Do not beat yourself up – berating or shaming yourself is not a positive or constructive use of your time and energies. Instead, think of ways to improve your experience next time.
…This is useful life advice for everyone with an anxiety disorder, tbh.
I am glad I read this.
Historians have finally come to recognize the obvious premise that discourses about women produced by men tell us more about men themselves than about women.
Ueno Chizuko, The Politics of Memory (via bellemaddox)
This is why I think acknowledging a lot of evil comes from people’s consciences and not from the absence of them is important when considering things like abuse and neglect.
Because I run into this scenario a lot… where people want to help disabled people… but they can’t deal with the fact that a lot of the things their boss is asking them to do are hurting those people… so they make up reasons why this is actually “good” for their clients. Or why it’s somehow the client’s fault for not being able to work in their system, rather than questioning whether the system works for them. And how an entire office full of well-meaning people who think they’re saving the world create systems of extreme neglect that kill half as many disabled people as they help.
Some particular versions of the self-image of “Goodness” stuff seems to be a big problem there. Abusive systems in general.
Too easy to come up with justifications and double down on the harmful shit once that cognitive dissonance rears up
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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