What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear?
Horcrocs
Someone: WHAT ARE THOOOOOSE??
Voldemort, being really offended: they are my Horcrocs
Avada Ka-fab-ra amiright
Tag: terrible
What happens when a sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff? Ba Dum Tss
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
you’ve got to be kidding me
I am in physical pain

Baby are you down down down down down? DOWWWNNN — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/2QghQ0S
The second best pun I’ve ever encountered in the wild was when I was walking down the street in a “hip” part of Seattle and saw a couple of Budweiser cans thrown into a bush. And I said to a random stranger walking nearby “damn, the local beer harvest is really poor this year”. And the random stranger responded “give it time, they’re only buds”.
why is this the second what the fuck could top that
A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. ‘Are you the friar?’ he asks. ‘No. I’m the chip monk,’ he replies..
😁😁😁
What did the ghost teacher say to the class? Look at the board and I will go through it again..
some people???? stab emperors??? to coup????
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