According to NCADV, 4 in 10 people have experienced some kind of coercive control from an intimate partner. Sadly, #MaybeSheDoesntHitYou is raising much-needed awareness for a widespread problem.
So this whole thing started with this tweet by Twitter user Katie Henry (KT_NRE). I started plowing through newspapers to find every mention of her – and found most that were out there, but a man named Todd Sanders, who had access to Pennsylvania libraries, found quite a few more. All of this takes place in October and November of 1922, before timeskipping to September 1923 (her third escape), October 1923 (her guilty verdict), and March 1924 (her escape attempt with Roxie Starcher).
I have been unable to find her obituary or anything else out there about my new hero.
“bodies associated with cis women are harshly stigmatized, made taboo, and policed as part of misogyny, often in violent ways or with the threat of violence” and “not all women have vaginas and not everyone with a vagina is a woman” and “trans peoples’ bodies are harshly stigmatized, made taboo, and policed as part of transphobia, often in violent ways or with the threat of violence” are not mutually exclusive facts and in fact all of these things are deeply interlinked, and should not be used as gotchas! against each other
‘Fake It Till You Are So Ill You Can’t Get Out Of Bed’
‘Fake It Till You Have A Flare’
‘Fake It Till You Have A Flare, Continue To Fake It Till You’re Hospitalised‘
OR
‘Accept That You Have One Or More Chronic Illnesses, Adapt Accordingly And Look After Yourself’
This is really important. I grew up believing I had to just use mind over matter to power past my symptoms, and that eventually led to a complete mental and physical breakdown that left me unable to walk on my own for a month. We really need to get rid of the idea that people aren’t trying hard enough if they don’t push themselves to the breaking point. It can be really harmful to pretend you’re okay when you’re not, especially if you’re struggling with chronic illnesses. It’s okay to accept that you have limitations and set boundaries so you’re not hurting yourself trying to keep up with able-bodied people.
this problem isn’t that men “misread” signals (and even verbal statements), it’s that men are unwilling to accept what’s being communicated, because it’d mean they won’t get what they want–and they value getting what they want more than they value their partner’s comfort, safety, and desires. this is a matter of will and values masquerading as a matter of knowledge and communication. men’s “confusion” is their justification for continuing with what they want to do (and society will accept it too!), so there’s always a motivation to be “confused.” that’s the problem.
Unfriendly fucking reminder that the best predictor of mass shootings is not mental illness, but being an angry young white man who has recently experienced rejection and has easy access to guns.
Bringing this back because it makes terrible people angry. And I’ll add a note to all the people saying “But you’d have to be mentally ill to do that!”: Mental illness is, by definition, abnormal. Does “mediocre white boy is so entitled that he resorts to violence when told no” really sound particularly unusual to you?
I devoted my entire graduate studies and thesis on mass school shootings, multiple murderers, and criminal psychology and I can tell you that this is in fact completely true and is suported by an unbelievable amount of emperical, quantifiable data that I slaved over for years. 💯
Like most people don’t like to admit this, but one of the reasons a lot of us have so many mental health issues is because we live in a world that has basically become untenable. People can’t afford basic necessities, let alone to cultivate their interests or take breaks and rest or do any of the things necessary for good mental health. People my age are wracked with debt, working at jobs they hate or studying topics they hate, living in a shitty apartment with five roommates. We live in a world that’s very hard to be healthy in. So while yeah, a lot of people obviously do have mental illnesses that would need medication no matter what, they are greatly exacerbated by these issues, and a lot of people have basically just been thrust into an eternal situational depression. So if that doesn’t change, medication is just a band-aid.
And for people suffering, it’s okay to acknowledge your illness is a direct result of being in a terrible situation. It neither invalidates your illness or people who have that illness genetically.
Same goes for more personal-level harmful life situations. If you’re stuck in a destabilizing environment, medications may or may not even help while you’re still living under bad conditions.
None of that is your fault. No matter how invested some people may be in blaming things on you, to avoid looking at/addressing bigger problems in the situation.
And none of this is zero-sum. That type of thinking only harms people more.
i love when people say “wow you go to the Drs a lot. i never really bother” like they think you go there when you don’t 800% have to.
they think you get a bit of a headache or the sniffles and book an appointment.
when really they would be rushing to the emergency department with something that just has you sitting at home like “hmm…maybe i should ring someone tomorrow? or mention it next week? nah i probably got this.”
The really frustrating thing is when people who are like, personally responsible for antibiotic resistance getting worse because they ALWAYS go in the first week of the sinus infection or whatever but in general chronic ill people do not go for years for anything because drs aren’t worth it then get hit with something that impedes function and are forced to.
Like there is an extra level of insulting when you have not been to the dr in 5 years because you suffered and fought off every acute problem w/out asking for help and then treated like you suddenly out of nowhere from there started going in for minor shit and being a baby about it.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
You must be logged in to post a comment.