Has anyone else noticed how, when you have a chronic condition of some kind, that there’s always the basic assumption from people around you that you’re not already doing everything you can?
It’s all about the illusion of control. People who are healthy like to believe they can always keep being healthy if they do the right things. They don’t want to think about how good people get struck with terrible circumstances for no reason.
So they keep assuming that if they got sick, they could do something to make it better.
And if you’re still sick, that must mean you’ve done something wrong or not done enough.Nail. Head. The same attitude can be seen in how a lot of people talk about poverty.
And sexual assault. All they have to do is not go there not drink that not wear that not date them and they’ll be fine, right?
The Just World theory – that as long as I do everything right, I’m safe, and everybody who isn’t safe is at fault for not doing everything right – is perhaps the most harmful and widespread mindset today
if you ever see a conservative and wonder just how in the world they have so little compassion? they are genuinely convinced that most – not all, but most – bad things that happen are the fault of the person affected, because then they don’t have to feel bad
somebody explaining this to me as a young adult was, quite literally, the start of me seeing the world in a new way and moving considerably to the left politically. by letting go of the just world mindset my conception of reality shifted considerably
this is why people NEED TO STOP saying things like “you’d never say that to someone with cancer/MS/whatever” to try to advocate for mental illness. it’s not TRUE they DO say that, all the time.
recently I saw someone claim autism is the only disability where people question your diagnosis and ask invasive questions. it really, really isn’t.
the Just World fallacy is so pervasive. it seeps in anywhere. if you ever feel inclined to say “you’d never say that to [person from a marginalized group you don’t belong to]” in order to highlight injustices to [group you’re a part of]…. don’t. literally super don’t.
When I was a kid, my stepdad needed surgery for liver cancer, which had spread there from an earlier bout with colon cancer. The number of people who couldn’t wait to make assumptions so they could blame him for bringing it on himself through problem drinking really amazed me at the time. Because liver, don’t you know 
(And of course that wouldn’t be remotely right if someone were also dealing with alcoholism. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment, much less to get kicked when they’re down and trying to cope with an already difficult situation.)
That’s just one example, involving cancer and not a more chronic condition.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 