Tag: scrupulosity

A bit of incidental validation I probably shouldn’t have needed, but here we are:

“What happened to your blood sugar?”

“It was almost 400 when I woke up. I felt so sick, and I couldn’t go to work that day.”

Yeah, that does feel more strikingly terrible when things are better managed as a baseline. (From past experience.) But, it’s actually not been unusual for mine to run somewhere around there for a good while now. Maybe a legitimate reason to have some trouble functioning? Hmm 😵

Another of those times that the damned scrupulosity isn’t making anything else easier.

One added bit of fun with those weird cold episodes? They also leave me extremely weak and shaky, more than woth most flu. Not so fun, on its own.

But, of course I had some other plans to try and get some work done tonight. (In this case, an aquarium water change. Again.) Not a reasonable plan right now, all else considered. Feeling like I’m going to pass out is a problem when I start in way stronger than this, and it’s taking a while to recover tonight.

So yeah, not only am I a lazy POS who doesn’t care about the fish even after killing Canary? I’m obviously faking being sick at all as an excuse for being such a lazy POS.

I know that’s not right, but it doesn’t matter. (Seriously, no comments to that effect needed. I know it’s messed up.)

These stupid OCD loops are also of course harder to deal with when my health situation is bad and there’s basically no energy left for that. Kicking people while they’re down, to make things that much more awesome.

I try not to complain about things nobody can really do anything about, but it does get hard to take sometimes. So I can feel guilty about venting too 😩