tropylium:

erkkistoryteller13:

siivekaspaskapostaaja:

returquoise:

improfem:

johniaurens:

commander-ledi:

commander-ledi:

im in physical pain every day because finnish tumblr users have the weirdest urls ever but nobody knows it because the urls are in finnish

seriously its shit like moomin-rectal-prolapse, jesus-spanker, foreskin-cum-burrito, turbo-bream-orgy and satan’s-titty-slurper and so on. and im not exaggerating at all. and this is not small minority among finnish tumblr blogs, its more like the standard to have urls like these. and none of you non-finnish-speakers have seen this mess because its written in finnish

i just spent a couple minutes going thru finnish tumblr tags. here’s a short list of some of my faves

roughly “chaotically fertilized” (or maybe inseminated? sikin sokin doesn’t really have a direct translation but it’s kinda like, willy nilly, disorganized, chaotic… like things can be “sikin sokin” (messy, disorganized, chaotic) on ur desk or in a drawer)

pourtmanteau of carousel (karuselli) and celery (selleri)

the lord’s vagina (vittu technically means like. the whole of the genitalia associated w vaginas not just the vagina, and is a curse word that has a denotion that boils down to abt the same as c*nt when used to refer to genitals, but with the severity/social acceptance level/usage of “fuck.” if you can put “fuck” there you can put “vittu” there. herra/the lord means specifically The Lord in the religious sense here)

foreplayground

satan’s pineapple

pourtmanteau of mental illness (mielisairaus) and dinosaur (dinosaurus)

extreme diarrhea

dick mountain

sex toy box

self-beer-er, roughly, but it’s a pun/joke on flasher (itsensäpaljastaja, lit self exposer) and beer (kalja)

@pikkuinen

I’m adding a few as well because I’ve loved these things since I joined Tumblr.

A portmanteau of umbilical cord and tightrope walker = umbilical cord walker.

The new shit house (outhouse), written in the style of 1500s.

The never-ending [state of being] fucking annoyed. Please refer to the entry “herranvittu” for the use of vittu.

I-won’t-give-up-beer.

Radical fuck satan.

Repe Sorsa is the Finnish name of Daffy Duck, so rebel-duck is not far off.

my translation skills might not be the best but let me add some:

onion of modesty

seashell fetish

broccoli worm

blueberry hater

gay drumming

brutal banana

ok first you need to know that the word “bead” is the same as “pearl” in finnish. so this could be pourtmanteau of analbeads and seashell, or anal pearl seashell.

I’ll probably have to change my tumblr name to fit in with the other finnish users – my username is way too normal

I did a survey of this circa 2015; looks like things are still going strong.

specsthespectraldragon:

orkraken:

clocks-rising:

maybe-a-lizard:

shieldfoss:

brazenautomaton:

aconnormanning:

liamdryden:

great-tweets:

First there was Yanny Vs. Laurel, now there’s Brainstorm Vs. Green Needle.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

level 2 is Greenstorm and Brain Needle

I don’t understand how you can hear “storm”

as someone who lives with a mumbler, “brain” and “green” sound very similar when mumbled. that’s not surprising, that’s not witchcraft, that’s mumbling

but I can only hear “needle” and don’t get how you can hear “storm”.

they neither start nor end the same way. there isn’t even the same number of syllables.

That’s why it’s so freaky (Nb: I can hear both)

Yeah, I can hear both depending on which one I’m thinking about, and either way they sound pretty clear and not like sort-of-one-and-sort-of-the-other. It just straight out sounds COMPLETELY different depending on which one I’m thinking about. I don’t understand how either.

(Although I assume I could understand if I did some research. Basically, brains are fucking weird.)

I think it’s the same phenomenon when someone points out that song lyrics sound like *insert something ridiculous here* and then you can’t unhear it. Like your brain can be nudged to be predisposed to see/hear certain things and this isn’t any different. I guess it’s like the audio version of those uhh, foreground/background optical illusions. Except we’re used to visual tricks and not audio ones so much.

Yeah, I can hear both depending which one I think about.

You’re right about song lyrics, too. I heard “wrecking ball” as “rainbow” for the longest time and it’s still starbucks lovers in that one Taylor Swift song haha

As someone with auditory processing disorder, this is hysterical to watch from the perspective of an outsider.

curiosityandcollections:

trickandswitch:

wizzard890:

thegestianpoet:

thegestianpoet:

loismacgiver:

novitiate2017:

I know everybodys talking about the article but its this tweet itself that makes me lose my shit

tinder link in bio.

JGKJDFHGJDF TINDER LINK IN BIO?

moodest

me: “yo every time you put a hand down my pants my clit feels like a terrified wwi regiment getting buzzed by the red baron”

you: “when will this stigma end”

Gloves, you use gloves, I know this is hard to believe but this is a common situation especially for sex workers, you just put on gloves, I know it’s fun and cool to make fun of femininity (no way that’s rooted in misogyny).

You get gloves, which you should be using with casual partners and partners with skin sensitivity anyway, and you stuff the fingers with cotton fluff.

But yeah, no, I get it, it’s more socially acceptable to hate femininity, and the people who perform it (hint: many trans women have to perform femininity to stay safe).

God, I mean, I say use gloves but you don’t even HAVE TO, you can in fact learn to stimulate a vagina with long nails without protective covers, it just takes some practice but WHATEVER, let’s all just make up random sex myths, that’s never backfired. /sarcasm

For fucks sake, the image literally says “libfem.” If this post chain isn’t 85% radfems, swerfs and terfs in particular, I’ll eat my own fucking ass.

Like, sorry to start fucking screaming, but g o d, I have seen this post so much and it makes me want to claw off my fucking face.

Seriously the first time I saw people laughing over this I was confused because gloves+cotton is a thing that solves the problem easily like what’s the big problem. Honestly stuff like this is why there needs to be comprehensive sex-ed.

Source: novitiate2017

tilthat:

TIL British spies stopped using semen as invisible ink because it began to smell if it wasn’t fresh.

via ift.tt

However, the discovery also led to some further problems, with the agent who had identified the novel use having to be moved from his department after becoming the butt of jokes. (X)

pearlescentbirdmom:

exception-witch-proves-the-rule:

graffiti at the bus stop: “fuck your god”

my pagan ass: are…are these instructions?

@bloodlooksblackinmoonlight

welcome to dick religions?

jcalvinist:

jcalvinist:

newt-loves-tina:

Reminder that:

– The film “Sucker Punch” had a sex scene between a male and female where the female character was in control of her own sexuality.

– The MPAA would only allow it after it was edited to look like the girl wasn’t into it and the guy was taking advantage of her.

– Note that if the sex scene had been kept as originally planned and filmed, then the film would have been given an “R” rating – but with the guy taking advantage it was a PG-13.

– The director didn’t want to send that message so he just cut it completely.

If that doesn’t say something about the media and women/female sexuality then I don’t know what will.

The actress who played said female character, Emily Browning, stated:

“I had a very tame and mild love scene with Jon Hamm. It was like heavy breathing and making out. It was hardly a sex scene… I think that it’s great for this young girl to actually take control of her own sexuality. Well, the MPAA doesn’t like that. They don’t think a girl should ever be in control of her own sexuality because they’re from the Stone Age.

I don’t know what the fuck is going on and I will openly criticize it, happily. So essentially, they got Zack to edit the scene and make it look less like she’s into it. And Zack said he edited it down to the point where it looked like he was taking advantage of her. That’s the only way he could get a PG-13 (rating) and he said, ‘I don’t want to send that message.’ So they cut the scene!

I’m torn. I want an ‘R’ (rating) because we can get a lot of cool scenes into it, but then I like the idea of younger girls being able to see it.”

Actually there’s a great documentary from about ten years ago called ‘This Film Is Not Yet Rated’ and they go into depth about the strangeness and the sexism surrounding the MPAA, in an interview for the documentary, the director of the LGBT film, ‘But I’m A Cheerleader’ complains that her was slapped with an NC-17 (which means no one under 17 can see the film, period) initially partially because of a scene where the main character is masturbating over her clothes, but ‘American Pie’ was already rated R (meaning anyone under 17 can see it if accompanied by someone of age) and the freaking TRAILERS showed the main character masturbating into an apple pie with his pants and underwear clearly between his ankles.
There’s a later segment where they show multiple side by side comparisons of scenes of masturbating characters in films rated R vs rated NC-17, and only consistent difference was that R films featured men getting off and the NC-17 ones showed women doing the same. Similar angles, similar elements surrounding each scene, but one was a woman so NC-17!

Another great bit from the documentary, was that multiple films were slapped with NC-17 because they had sex scenes where a woman’s face was shown while she orgasmed, and the MPAA insisted these scenes were shown too long and were therefore “offensive.” You can’t make this shit up people

akaltyn:

testblogdontupvote:

cptsdcarlosdevil:

I think a lot of people’s opinions about the incel community (as opposed to shy and romantically lonely men or shy and romantically lonely people in general) are looking way too hard for an explanation for something that’s kind of obvious. if you are the sort of person who responds to loneliness by posting sentences like “[SuicideFuel] daily reminder, every female you see has had a dick in her mouth,” you don’t have to be fucking Einstein to figure out why you can’t get laid

daily reminder, every female you see has had a dick in her mouth

This is actually weirdly inspirational. Like, at the end of the day we’re all humans doing human things, and we can be vulnerable. This is something I occasionally do think about: public personae people project are very devoid of vulnerability, and thinking that it’s pretty wild to imagine that the same people I talk to every day can be snuggling someone or having sex in a different context.

There are two kinds of people….

cromulentenough: