Denny’s is your local, friendly diner open 24 hours a day every day of the year. A place to relax and enjoy a breakfast at any hour, a fulfilling lunch or delicious dinner. All are welcome at Denny’s, and it’s your safest location, provided you follow this very simple guide for the nightly hours.
Never close your eyes in a Denny’s parking lot.
Walk calmly to the door; you will hear sounds. Do not look behind you.
Always make sure the door closes behind you, unless it was already open when you arrived, in which case do not touch the door.
Never sit at the table farthest from the front door. Your server will sometimes try to seat you there. Politely refuse and ask for another table.
If you see a table with two salt-shakers, walk past it; that table is taken. Sit at the table directly across from it instead.
Eat your pancakes. Box any leftovers; it would be a shame to waste food. It might attract something.
Do not, under any circumstance, look into the eyes of your own reflection in the bathroom.
If your server’s eyes turn black, do not panic; order a coffee with extra cream. Do not ask for a refill. Do not stare.
Think you recognize someone who just walked in? Best to ignore it. It’s probably not what it seems. They will proceed to sit at the table farthest from the door.
If you are walking past a Denny’s and you see yourself sitting in the corner booth through the window, keep walking. Do not eat at Denny’s that night.
Did you tip? You better double check. It’s only polite to leave a tip.
Do not ask questions. They will Notice.
Your local Denny’s is the perfect place for a delicious meal at all hours of the day. Hope you enjoy your next visit to any Denny’s Diner!
what would you think of a woman who addressed a club meeting of men by telling them how charming, how well gowned, how pretty, they were?
This is why I really like books that are set in oldey times with people who have views like this, and why it annoys me when people say but that’s not historically accurate
tbh, half the time ‘not historically accurate’ is code for ‘i wish things were still like my imaginary version of 19th century England only minus the cholera’
This just makes me absurdly happy, especially because it’s written by a man calling out other men for this shit.
“But they didn’t know better” you sure about that?
dude was so mad about this he was snarking in all caps
“average homosexual sleeps with more than 500 ppl in their life time” factoid actualy just statistical error. average homosexual sleeps with 3 people per year. Homosexuals Georg, who lives in cave & tops over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
Trees can get email in Australia.
In 2013, trees were assigned email
addresses by the city of Melbourne
so its citizens could report potential
problems, but people ended up
writing thousands of love letters
to their favorite trees instead. Source
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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