Month: June 2017

Abuse does not make you a broken monster

realsocialskills:

Our culture often sends the message that if you were abused as a child, you’ll inevitably abuse your children.

It’s not true. I know multiple people personally who grew up in violent homes who have chosen not to be abusive. They experienced violence as children; they do not commit acts of violence as adults. It is possible, it is happening, and people making that choice deserve more respect and recognition.

It’s easier to learn how to parent well from growing up with good parents. It’s also possible to learn from other people. I know this because I’ve seen people do it. To some extent, *everyone* learns from people other than their own parents. (Including their own children. Kids are born with minds of their own, and people who respect their children learn a lot from them about how parenting can and can’t work.) 

It’s a matter of degree. Everyone needs some degree of help and support in learning how to parent; some people need more help and support. Abuse (among other things) may mean that someone needs more help learning parenting; it does not mean that someone will inevitably become an abuser. 

I think we need to talk about this more. Abuse survivors should not be treated as broken monsters. Violence is a choice, and abuse survivors are capable of choosing nonviolence. Abuse survivors are full human beings who have the capacity to make choices, learn skills, and treat others well. 

disexplications:

I was just reading a blog post by Will Creeley about the recent revocations of Harvard admission offers. I don’t care very much about the main subject of the post, but:

Having spent the last decade defending student and faculty rights, I’ve learned a couple of things about exactly what type of campus civil liberties violations receive the most media attention. It’s not always what one might expect.

For example, I remember feeling shocked that a student’s expulsion over a Facebook post protesting the construction of a parking garage didn’t warrant above-the-fold coverage. I was amazed that students blacklisted for complaining to administrators about being subjected to mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds, performed by their peers, somehow didn’t go viral and make its way onto every social media timeline in the country. And my colleague Samantha Harris just penned a powerful piece for Vox about the relative media silence regarding Princeton University Professor Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor, who has received death threats and been forced to cancel appearances following her Hampshire College commencement address last month.

All of that actually happened, and as far as I can tell, Creeley is not exaggerating or misrepresenting any of it. Yet I have never heard about the parking garage case or the transvaginal ultrasound case. What the fuck?

Admittedly, the parking garage expulsion happened in 2007, but the ensuing litigation went on until 2015.

Click here to support Winnemem Wintu Salmon Restoration organized by Caleen Audrey Sisk

theemperorsfeather:

In the late 1800s and early 1900s, salmon eggs were taken from the
McCloud River to populate the rivers in other parts of the world. After
the Shasta Dam was installed, we thought we had lost our fish forever
but in 2004, when news about our War Dance
went around the world, a New Zealand professor contacted us saying, “We
have your fish, do you want them back?”We learned that the eggs that
had been taken to Aotearoa (New Zealand) survived in the glacier-fed
rivers and existed in healthy numbers. Now we are on a mission to bring home the genetic descendants of our wild chinook salmon. This June we need to raise $85,000 to begin the process of restoring our wild, genetically pure winter-run, chinook salmon in our California waters. This has never been done before, but it is the only chance we have to save our endangered Salmon relatives.

One of the other articles linked within the above, which has additional  background: http://californiawatch.org/dailyreport/tribe-travels-across-pacific-recover-lost-salmon-species-12116

Click here to support Winnemem Wintu Salmon Restoration organized by Caleen Audrey Sisk

epicmurdock:

epicmurdock:

I really hate it when parents of autistic kids use phrases like “I know they’re in there.” Bitch they’re right in front of you! You haven’t lost them! They’re not locked away like a final boss in a video game!! This is your child As Is! Love them for who they are not what you wish they would be! Fuck!

I didn’t expect this to get notes but it’s absolutely ok to reblog and I’m glad it has been