Yes, Swans aren’t born with original sin cos they come from eggs. and there is nothing more tender than a cygnet just out of the egg, nestled on its mother’s back, utterly clear of hatred because it is only three days old. Nothing sweeter and more pure than a being of chaos and savagery that hasn’t even gotten started yet
i still don’t really understand how tumblr ended up being my primary social media. like how did i and everyone i know look at this horribly designed shoddily coded microblogging platform with a user base full of teenagers and which desperately wants you to use it in any way other than the way we use it and think “time to live my online life here for several years”
today i learnt that king tutankhamun made sure that he had a condom with him in his next life. i never want to hear a dude say he didn’t have the time to be prepared or didn’t remember to buy condoms. if king tut had the common decency of making sure someone put a condom in his resting place alongside one of the biggest treasures ever so he could practice safe sex in the afterlife no present day dude has an excuse for not wearing condoms.
here it is
it’s made of animal intestine
and they know it was his because they found residue inside that they were able to DNA-match to him
yes, that kind of residue
My mans Tutankhamun was already busting a nut when Osiris was measuring his soul to go see his ol man Ra like imagine having such guts.
“King Tut’s Mummified Erect Penis May Point to Ancient Religious Struggle”
“Egypt’s King Tutankhamun was embalmed in an unusual way, including having his penis mummified at a 90-degree angle, in an effort to combat a religious revolution unleashed by his father, a new study suggests […]
The mummified erect penis and other burial anomalies were not accidents during embalming, Ikram suggests, but rather deliberate attempts to make the king appear as Osiris, the god of the underworld, in as literal a way as possible. The erect penis evokes Osiris’ regenerative powers; the black liquid made Tutankhamun’s skin color resemble that of Osiris; and the lost heart recalled the story of the god being cut to pieces by his brother Seth and his heart buried.
Making the king appear as Osiris may have helped to undo a religious revolution brought about by Akhenaten, a pharaoh widely believed to be Tutankhamun’s father, Ikram said.
Akhenaten had tried to focus Egyptian religion around the worship of the Aten, the sun disc, going so far as to destroy images of other gods. Tutankhamun was trying to undo these changes and return Egypt back to its traditional religion with its mix of gods.
Tutankhamun’s mummified penis eventually broke off from his body after the mummy was discovered, at one point leading to media speculation that it had been stolen.
Ikram has yet to encounter another Egyptian mummy buried with an erection. “As far as I know, no other mummy has been found thus far with an erect penis,” she told LiveScience in an email.
The imagery of King Tutankhamun’s erect penis has a connection to the god Osiris, Ikram said. “The erect penis evokes Osiris at his most powerfully regenerative moment, and is a feature of ‘corn-mummies,’ the quintessential symbols of rebirth and resurrection,” she writes in her paper. Corn-mummies were nonhuman artificial mummies created in later periods in honor of Osiris. They were made of a mix of materials, including grain.”
Actually alligator snapping turtles can’t extend their necks very far, so the person in the video isn’t in danger of being bitten so long as he keeps himself far away from the turtle’s mouth. Common Snapping Turtles, on the other hand, can extend their necks, and although they cannot reach nearly everywhere they are more than willing to lunge at anything that comes near their face. Here’s a helpful video that compares these two badass reptiles:
I won’t be swimming anywhere in Florida regardless.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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