axonsandsynapses:

yuletidekarkat:

dannygayhealani:

creatingaquietmind:

the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)

I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.

ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.

the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!

With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said. 

“So I said to Aisha,” is certainly used, but if you remove the “so,” which implies casual tone (“and” can be used in the same way), you get

“I said to Aisha,” which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.

“I told Aisha,” is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: “I told Aisha that James was too punk for her” works while, “I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’” crosses the line back into formalness of the “I said.”

Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations. 

“I was like, ‘Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?’” envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.

Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.

  (via crystalandrock)

emmeetslawschool:

When someone tries to tell you it “violates due process” to believe a sexual harassment allegation if there haven’t been charges filed

(Also, is this person therefore saying the due process clause literally creates thought crimes? That seems to jive well with their previously espoused first amendment absolutist position…)

wheeeaboo:

systlin:

weavemama:

systlin:

weavemama:

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, CHANCES ARE YOU GO ON THE INTERNET EVERYDAY. THE FCC IS NOW PLANNING ON REPEALING NET NEUTRALITY. THIS MEANS THAT POPULAR WEBSITES WILL RUN SLOWLY UNTIL YOU PAY AN EXTRA FEE. WE WOULD NO LONGER HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF USING WEBSITES AND RESEARCHING FOR FREE. 

TEXT ‘RESIST’ AT 50409 AND TELL YOUR SENATORS THAT NET NEUTRALITY NEEDS TO STAY.

Seriously. Resistbot is great. Text it. It lets you write a letter it then faxes to the offices of your congresspeople and senators. If you keep getting told that ‘messages are full’ when you try to call on the phone, try Resistbot. 

Also, if you have anxiety about speaking to people on the phone, Resistbot requires no human interaction. You write a letter via text, resistbot does the rest. 

I just did mine!!! It took less than 3 minutes. seriously guys, taking 3-5 minutes out of your day to contact your senator or congressman for FREE can help save the internet.

It’s so easy, you guys, seriously. 

So I’m going to add on that this does work, I literally just did it and it was super simple!

complaints about millennials from ancient greece and rome

meggory84:

sigaloenta:

thoodleoo:

  1. ungrateful, wait with eagerness for the day of their fathers’ deaths (seneca’s de beneficiis)
  2. travel everywhere, take up agriculture instead of letting nature provide (tibullus 1.3)
  3. carp at their parents, praise evil-doers and their violent deeds (hesiod, works and days)
  4. spend too much time talking about philosophy and pretending to be greek to fight wars (plutarch, life of cato the elder)
  5. bad at riding horses (horace, odes 3.24)
  6. can’t lift boulders (homer, iliad 20)
  7. still can’t lift boulders (vergil, aeneid 12)

8. spend all their time declaiming about pirate-chieftains and tyrannicides and oracles commanding human sacrifices and what kind of preparation is that for the real world? (Eumolpus in Petronius, Messala in Tacitus’ Dialogus, a bunch of others)

9. only care about snappy one-liners and ignore good periodic Ciceronian prose (Quintilian, IO 10)

9. take up stupid trendy fads like vegetarianism (Seneca the Younger’s father yelled at him about this, apparently)

10. use philosophy as an excuse to avoid the duties of a Roman senator (Tacitus, Hist. 4.4)

Tag yourself, I’m #8