I think the most healing thing my therapist has said to me was that I’m allowed to be angry and bitter about slipping through the cracks my whole life. I was so obviously and desperately in need of help from kindergarten to 12th grade, and only once did anyone respond, when I was 12, and then I went to middle school and fell through the cracks again. I got detentions for talking out daily in elementary and middle school. I broke down crying multiple times in class as a 17 year old in HS, which is, you know, not normal. I never did my homework, failed multiple classes every year and did summer school, all while ranking in the 99th percentile in state testing.
And nobody said “this isn’t right. someone pay attention to this girl.”
instead most of my teacher’s and a lot of my friends’ parents labeled me a problem child and couldn’t wait for me to be gone.
and I’ve spent all this time thinking “well, I’m getting the help I need and deserve NOW! It’s time to move on! Don’t focus on how, if someone had paid attention, I may be attending a college with a full ride scholarship right now, maybe have my dream job already, wouldn’t have spent so long suffering and suicidal.”
But my therapist told me, not only was it okay for me to be angry that literally all of the adults in my life but my mom and friend’s mom failed me, but she was also angry FOR me. And that I was allowed to be angry at everyone who let young Molly Anne slip through crack after crack. And that being angry and accepting that I was failed would help me move on.
And it has.
You’re allowed to be pissed off about the bad things that happened to you as a kid. You’re allowed to ask life “hey, what the fuck?” It’s part of healing.
When I got my brain tumour I sought therapy and unfortunately she wasn’t very good.
And I was pissed. Where was my therapist who understood brain tumours? Where was my social worker helping me file for disability since I couldn’t work? Where were the group’s helping me figure out being disabled and getting accommodations? Where was my help? I asked her these questions and she didn’t have an answer. I told her I spent all my school years falling through the cracks in the system, why was it happening again? Why am I the only person preventing it from happening?
She told me I shouldn’t focus on my angry but in what I can do about the situation. But I had been working on the situation and I shouldn’t have been the only one.
You’re allowed to be angry when it happened in the past and you’re allowed to be angry if it’s happening now. You shouldn’t be responsible for making sure you don’t fall through the cracks.
This rant can apply to any disability that makes toileting difficult or impossible. I’m just specifying autism because freaking Autism Moms™ always broadcast the diapers and it pisses me off.
Having to wear incontinence products isn’t something to be ashamed of, but it’s not cool to out somebody who wears them either unless they say you can or do it themselves.
THAT INCLUDES: All you damn autism moms who post videos / photos on the freakin’ internet explicitly showing that your autistic child (adult or young) still wearing diapers at age whatever.
THAT INCLUDES: All you damn autism moms who talk about how your child isn’t toilet trained at age whatever and stating that they wear diapers as if you have to make them as embarrassed as possible to shut down advocates like me who can speak or type to tell YOU to shut up.
“They won’t see it / they won’t understand” is not a valid excuse. Talking about or showing a disabled person’s diapers without their consent serves zero educational purpose. That is not how you treat someone you claim to love and respect.
Outing someone’s incontinence without their consent is NOT educational, loving or respectful.
I mean, they clearly think anyone with what’s simply a separate medical disability (incontinence) has no mind with which to comprehend they have it, but they probably talk to people they don’t know have it every day. It’s just that obvious disability in someone you live with makes every comorbid condition seem like a symptom and treated like a behavior problem (or treated with non-science).
i genuinely hope that everyone in charge of making insulin so insanely expensive in the US gets the guillotine
if you want a great example of capitalistic violence, look no further than these genuinely awful, fucking evil companies making insulin, something that doesnt cost shit to make, charging shit tons of money and the justification is because its required for people to live
This rant can apply to any disability that makes toileting difficult or impossible. I’m just specifying autism because freaking Autism Moms™ always broadcast the diapers and it pisses me off.
Having to wear incontinence products isn’t something to be ashamed of, but it’s not cool to out somebody who wears them either unless they say you can or do it themselves.
THAT INCLUDES: All you damn autism moms who post videos / photos on the freakin’ internet explicitly showing that your autistic child (adult or young) still wearing diapers at age whatever.
THAT INCLUDES: All you damn autism moms who talk about how your child isn’t toilet trained at age whatever and stating that they wear diapers as if you have to make them as embarrassed as possible to shut down advocates like me who can speak or type to tell YOU to shut up.
“They won’t see it / they won’t understand” is not a valid excuse. Talking about or showing a disabled person’s diapers without their consent serves zero educational purpose. That is not how you treat someone you claim to love and respect.
Outing someone’s incontinence without their consent is NOT educational, loving or respectful.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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