A little back story.
So I’m tired of writing my story out in tweets, and I’m losing followers over it constantly.. so I’m just going to write it once. Here. Also, everything is kind of all over the place because I’m currently selling things for gas so I’m able to get back to Sioux Falls tonight… (Sorry)
My name is McKinzie Circle Eagle, I come from the Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe Rez. I’m 19, and I am currently pregnant with my first baby. (👶🏽💖) Normally, during your first pregnancy or any of your pregnancies it’s supposed to be the best time, right? Full of support, love, a warm home, and much other things. I haven’t gotten that in the slightest, except for a few of my friends and fam and of course my lovely twitter fam.
I have been homeless, car less, and just fucking clueless about what to do with my life during this pregnancy… and get this. I’m only 22 weeks. All of this shit has happened in a matter of 22 weeks, and yes.. I know there are people that have it way worse than me.. but it’s taken SO many people to try to convince me that it’s okay to ask for help.. So here I am.. Asking for help.
Currently, my car is my biggest issue.
I took it to get my tires rotated today, but they found at least 6 more problems today (not including the ones I already know about) The mechanic told me he really doesn’t think it’s safe to be driving, but I have to get to my ultrasound tomorrow.
I’ve slept in my car during this pregnancy, I’ve not showered for days during this pregnancy, and I’ve not had a job for most of this pregnancy. I did, back when I was around 13 weeks…but not since then. Trust me when I tell you that I am TRYING. I have never wanted a job so badly in my entire god damn life, this is the longest I’ve gone without one.
The reasons why it’s so hard for me to get one though is because:
1. I don’t live in a place long enough before some bullshit happens and I’m forced to move again.
2. My doctors appointments are often because I have gestational diabetes.
3. With my car being so shitty, I literally don’t have a solid way of transportation.
(No I cannot walk, it is winter now and I’ve got asthma. I’m not getting pneumonia again.)
I don’t know what I’m trying to prove honestly with this post, just a call for help really. I don’t want people to think I’m faking, or that I’m not doing all I can to actually help myself.. because if you want to know anything about Natives at ALL it’s that we are stubborn as shit when it comes to asking for help.
I’ve been through shit in my life, but none of it like this… and especially while being pregnant.
So right now, since I do not have a job I am literally so far behind in my bills that the bank is calling daily, my car is having more problems (cooling fans, brakes, and radiator), and my OB appt’s are 5 hours away from me.
I have an ultrasound tomorrow, plus a meeting with my doctor.. I cannot miss this. I need to see how my baby is doing, I’ve been through so much since my last ultrasound and I just want to know if my baby is doing okay… and my GD, god that is the thing I worry about the most.
The 5 hour thing, I’m currently trying to move back to Sioux Falls. I’ve got friends who think it is better for me there because they’ve got lung specialists (and since I’ve got asthma they think it’s going to get really bad during my pregnancy and they want me to be around people that know specifically about lungs).
I’ve applied for jobs there even though I’m still in Rapid City, but I’ve heard back from a dealership about a part time job. I’m praying I’m getting it, because I want nothing more than to just work my ass off for the rest of my pregnancy.
If you’ve been following me, you probably think that wow this girl has a ton of problems.. and I do. I don’t know why, I don’t know what I did to get all these problems especially NOW of all times, but if you really don’t have anything kind or helpful to say please do not say anything at all.
All I want for the holidays is to know my baby is okay and for my bills to be caught up.
If you’ve got questions or any helpful tips my Twitter is – iamlakotak
https://www.paypal.me/CircleEagle
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