Trauma often messes with one’s ability to say “no”.
You either consciously or subconsciously think, “I don’t want to hurt this person’s feelings” or “If I say no, then they’ll hurt me” or “It won’t really be that bad” or “I can handle this” or “I need to do this to prove myself” or “I deserve this”, or you forget that “no” is even an option.
It’s still not your fault if you didn’t say “no”, even if you think maybe you could have. It’s still not your fault. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and you didn’t bring it upon yourself. It was never your fault.
Consistent experiences of boundary violations can also effect your ability to say no. Like getting misgendered all day and being unable to safely address it. Experiencing consistent racism microagressions and not being able to safely address is. Experiencing sexual harrassment in the workplace. Women, trans people, people of color, learn that ‘no’ is rude, unacceptable, dangerous.
If ‘no’ is not an option during everyday boundary violations and if the feeling of always having your boundaries violated is the backdrop of your emotional life, it becomes difficult to say ‘no’ at all, or to acknowledge that a significantly more serious boundary violations took place.
If you didn’t say ‘no’ or if you said ‘yes’ but had an experience you did not want or came away feeling violated, that is real. You are allowed to say that your boundaries were violated, because they were. You are allowed to call that experience non-consensual, because it was.
There’s that weird gray zone that’s neither ‘death threats’ nor ‘suicide baiting’ where people just like to send you graphic descriptions of the violent, dehumanizing things they wish would happen to you, like some kind of moral loophole.
“Death/rape threats are immoral and illegal! That’s why I’m merely describing in vivid detail a fantasy I have about what I think someone else should do to you. Not little old me, though! And not by your own hand – that would be suicide baiting! I’m just praying to God that it happens, and I want you to have this imagery in your brain forever.”
It’s called harassment. If it includes anything sexualized, it’s sexual harassment. 99% of the time, the “protect children” or “protect the lgbt community (from fakers)” screechers are the real predators.
Ditto the people who want to claim they didn’t send a death threat because they just said they wanted to hurt you 🙄 Like whomstever once said they wished they could get a car and come run me over.
I mean, they don’t care whether this is harassment or death threats or suicide baiting. They justify it to themselves by claiming they’re defending the community from inclusionists, or… don’t even bother justifying it at all. Like, I think the car one was because I had said some fucking celebrity was bi, which is… quite a reaction.
But it’s important for the people who get this shit to know that it’s abuse, and that it’s not okay. It’s important to know that your community recognizes that, and doesn’t endorse treating anybody like that.
The underlying message of “this person deserved this abuse, because ___________” is always “and if you don’t act the way I want, you’ll ‘deserve’ it too.”
you know, as someone who took years to realize that “graphic threats of violence are abuse”, one of the biggest mindfucks on tumblr is the fact that a large part of this website thinks that this kind of behavior is not only ok, but should be encouraged, as long as the abuse is directed at the “right” target.
it’s really awful to see people normalize abuse (which is what bullying and harassment is!) by calling it cool, funny, and progressive. it’s disgusting to see people say things like “bullying teaches social skills”, some people need to be shamed into being normal, calling people freaks, while also turning around and saying things like “death to cringe culture!” either you think it’s acceptable to abuse others or you don’t. if you engage in this kind of behavior you are an abusive person you’re no different than someone who abuses their partner but draws the line against kicking the dog. stop trying to justify why it’s ok to abuse some people (namely: the people you want to abuse, and not you or your friends) and stop being abusive.
the best way to play Pokemon games is like you’re an 8 year old. IV? EV? Shiny chaining? Nah. We catch pokemon because they look cool. if my pokemon is bashful or whatever that means nothing to me.
As you celebrate thanksgiving, know that the Trump administration is taking away 321 acres of land from the Mashpee-Wampanoag, the tribe that helped the pilgrims survive and were present at the first thanksgiving. Tell legislators to support the Mashpee Reservation Reaffirmation Act. ]
If the tribe cannot retain control of the 321 acres in Mashpee and Taunton, it will be unable to build a planned $1 billion resort casino there. But the larger issue, members said, is the tribe’s cultural and moral claim to the land, which lies not far from where the Wampanoag greeted the Pilgrims who founded Plymouth Colony and later joined them in the first Thanksgiving.
though they are the closest relative of the north american wild turkey, the ocellated turkey looks wildly different in appearance, and while still being a large bird, is much smaller. this turkey is found only in a small range of mexico and an even tinier portion of south america. both males and females have a distinctive blue head and bright feathers with a metallic sheen. ocellated turkeys feed off of fruits, plant matter, and insects, and forage on the ground in flocks. at night they roost in trees to avoid predators such as jaguars, but spend the majority of their time on the ground.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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