People will tell you that emotional abuse isn’t real and what you’re dealing with isn’t that big a deal and you’re just exaggerating, but let me tell you something.
If you’ve ever been wary of everyone you know, even people you trust, because you’re expecting them to get angry with you over literally anything, make fun of you, or start making threats, something’s wrong.
If you’ve ever had to plan things in anticipation of a potential tantrum that you fear will be taken out on you, something’s wrong.
If you succumb to someone’s demands because you’re never sure if their threats are empty or legit and you just want to play it on the safe side, something’s wrong.
If you find yourself jumping at smaller noises in anticipation that they’re a warning sign for a tantrum, something’s wrong.
If you hide things – especially things that make you happy – because you’re so afraid that they’ll make fun of you for liking them, scold you for liking something they don’t, take them away, destroy them, or that they’ll defile them and ruin that love you have for them, something’s wrong.
If you find yourself being silent in the face of mild disagreements or thinly-veiled insults, rather than standing up for yourself because you just don’t want to start an argument and make things worse, something’s wrong.
If that very lack of standing up for yourself eventually leads to you never offering your opinion in any sort of discussion out of fear of ridicule or being scolded because that’s what you’re so used to, something’s wrong.
If you end up spending a lot of your time in your room keeping to yourself and keeping any trip outside of your room to an absolute minimum because you don’t want to risk putting one toe out of line and setting off a tantrum, yet you’re also aware that hiding out will also cause an issue and you’re probably just minimizing the risk instead of erasing it entirely, something’s wrong.
If you ever habitually glance outside the window to keep watch for your supposed abuser’s car to return from their work, errand or trip, and then heading to your room or other hiding place to keep out of their way, erasing any obvious signs that you’ve been out and about in the rest of your living space, something’s wrong.
If one of your greatest fantasies involves not a dream career or winning the lottery but instead an escape plan succeeding, something’s wrong.
If you could basically summarize your life as living in constant, subtle fear, Something. Is. Wrong.
Emotional abuse is very, very real, and it has lasting consequences that can affect people’s relationships, their jobs, and their lives all-around.
“The Disaster Housing Assistance Program (DHAP), created in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, provides housing subsidies to survivors and evacuees, and covers the cost of rent, security deposit, and utilities.”
…“FEMA has refused to enact DHAP for any declared disaster since [t]rump has taken office. It has previously been enacted following Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, Gustav, Ike, and Sandy.”
Studies show this approach is more stable and more cost effective than housing people in hotels and motels, which the trump administration is doing for a small number of people while leaving thousands of others, who also qualify, homeless without any assistance in a complete failure of FEMA’s mission.
This administration is politicizing disaster aid and only helping states perceived as “loyal” to the president and leaving others to suffer. They’re should be no doubt that the president has every intention of abusing his power to damage every part of the country that’s not part of his racist bigoted and hate filled cult.
…AND a substantial portion of FEMA emergency funding was reallocated to cage children in immigrant concentration camps. Perhaps More FEMA funds were transferred than we know.
For everyone who has chronic pain or a chronic illness that will hear the same questions of “what do you…do?” and “are you feeling better now?” from relatives you never see today, remember that they have a minimal understanding of what you are going through and you are amazing for surviving this life. That’s what you are doing, surviving. You deserve life and happiness no matter your level of ability. So rock those mobility aids, take those meds, and ignore all the ignorance that you will be forced to listen to.
Storytime. Cooking in a different country makes you realize how many things you take for granted are just, Not A Thing Here. Like apple juice. Surely you can find apple juice at your local Athenian grocery store, right? Wrong. Greeks drink orange juice and peach juice and mixed fruit juice and sour cherry juice, but… plain old apple juice, nope, not so much. You’ll have a hard time finding vanilla extract in Greece too, since Greeks are used to vanilla powder in little plastic capsules and you have to go to specialty shops for the liquid stuff. Sour cream is virtually nonexistent here (but hey, it’s the land of yogurt, which is a good enough substitute). But surprisingly cornmeal (which is a specialty ingredient in the UK) is everywhere, since Greeks have their own versions of cornbread and corn pudding.
So basically: I knew it might be impossible find vegetable shortening (aka Crisco) for my Thanksgiving pie crust here in Athens. Crisco is pretty uniquely American, and Greeks are more likely to use phyllo than shortcrust anyway. That said, there are a handful of specialty shops in central Athens that sell things like Heinz baked beans and custard powder and Worcestershire sauce and other Weird Foreign Foods™ so us Sad Homesick Expats don’t have to go hungry (I’m always reminded of A Passage to India and their corned beef and tinned peas). So I went on Skroutz (the search engine for buying stuff in Greece) and typed in “vegetable shortening” to see if any stores carried it.
A notification came up asking me to confirm that I was over 18 years old?
???
I clicked “yes”??
Turns out there is, in fact, one shop in Athens that carries vegetable shortening. It’s a sex shop. The shortening is listed under “sex essentials”, as lube. For fisting. It’s literally called “βούτυρο για fisting” – “butter for fisting”.
I decided I didn’t need a flaky pie crust that badly.
basically emotional manipulation and guilt tripping as social justice praxis is pointless and not sustainable imo. it doesn’t promote real growth or solidarity if the entire basis of your activism is stemming from guilt or fear
it’s also worth pointing out that it turns “social justice” into something uncomfortably like religion. it establishes patterns of behavior that you’re expected to follow, not necessarily because you understand them or agree with them, but because you are afraid of the consequences if you don’t. it turns communities of “activists” into self-aggrandizing moralistic pissing contests, where the pecking order is defined by who knows more of the rules, and who is more willing to enforce them on others (usually, by any means necessary). it encourages ideological purity and discourages debate, discussion, education, and subsequent individual and community growth.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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