morbidly-queerious:

xenoqueer:

richandsporty:

xenoqueer:

Are you. Uh.

Are you saying that self harm and massive blood loss are. Healthier. Than being spanked by a partner in a controlled fashion because. I.

There’s.

There’s so much happening here. Do you think mentally ill people can’t fuck? Do you think doms are rapists? Do you think hitting someone is rape? DO YOU THINK CONSENSUAL SEX IS RAPE????

I don’t even know where to. To begin so just.

Listen.

Listen, okay.

Step one on the staircase of “stop trying to punish your body for being sick,” also known as “stop self harming,” is to replace high risk forms of self harm like trying to kill yourself with much lower risk ones that still provide you the sense of control, relief, or physical grounding that you are seeking.

This NECESSARY INTERIM MEASURE is what allows you to begin dealing with the extremely painful, difficult process of healing.

Also, did you just fucking say you would rather your friend RISK DEATH than do kink??????????????????????

Just.

Like.

I would rather risk death than deal with you right now, holy shit.

having waded through a thread of about 16 echo chamber reblogs of this post, has it occured to any of you that acting out the urge to self harm through violent sex may… also be self harm?

What part of “risk reduction” and “interim measure” is unclear to you?

You’ve decided pretty arbitrarily that any and all self harm is equal, but the risk of dying from a spanking is pretty fucking low as compared to the risk of dying from slitting your wrists. The risk of infection, scarring, and long term injury are all near zero for a spanking, and very substantial from cutting.

In an ideal world no one would feel self harming impulses.

We don’t live in that world, so harm reduction is the name of the game.

The list of options anon provided is not “getting spanked vs no self harm.” It’s “getting spanked vs cutting herself.”

And objectively, a spanking is less dangerous. But anon decided that cutting is less dangerous because at least then no one’s dick is hard.

Anyway, you don’t actually care about learning, listening or reading comprehension any more than you care about harm reduction, so go drink from a roadside ditch puddle and leave the actual conversation to people who actually want to have it, you disingenuous fuck.

This does, however, give me the opportunity to have a serious conversation about mental health tho.

Because….people do realize that while the clinical terminology is “self harming behavior” or “self-injurious behavior”, that designation is actually because of the RESULT, not the IMPULSE, right?

Like, things that do not harm or injure you are not known as self-harming behaviors in the clinical realm, they’re known as COPING MECHANISMS, which is what you use so you ~don’t~ engage in self-harming behaviors.

Also, the impulse behind self harm is very rarely a clear and explicit “I want to hurt myself and risk death and permanent harm because I think I should suffer”, although sure that feeling can happen under either the self harm or the suicidal ideation umbrella. But the most common reason for self harm is “I need to feel something -either feel something other than my emotions or feel something at all. People in that head space are likely to need some pretty strong sensations in order to accomplish that goal, but the key adjective there is “strong”, not “painful”, as in, not everyone experiences their preferred self-harm-prevention technique as painful. And that includes things like icing your skin or snapping rubber bands or getting spanked or whipped. In fact, it is just as possible that a person uses an ENJOYABLE strong sensation. The only reason why we tend to assume all anti-self-harm techniques are sort of aversive sensations is because self harm tends to go with depression and depressed people tend to struggle to enjoy things because that’s a common symptom of depression.

So if a person is safely engaging in some form of impact play rather than self-harming, under ANY valid clinical definition, it is literally not possible to call what they’re doing self-harming. Because they’re not fucking harming themselves.

Same as with hypersexual people who engage in frequent SAFE AND CONSENSUAL sex with secure partners as opposed to RISKY AND DUBIOUSLY CONSENTING sex with unsafe partners. They’re both engaging in a tool to cope with their hypersexuality, but by definition only the one engaging in unsafe or harmful sex is the one self harming, even if they’re both having the same amount of sex with the same amount of people.

Because self-harm is literally defined by the risk. Because you need to treat the impulse in order to treat the cause of the impulse. And it’s real fucking hard to engage in any kind of useful, long term behavioral therapy to change how you relate to your emotions and impulses when you’re constantly on the verge of emotional breakdown because you have no access to coping mechanisms with which to withstand the stress of your underlying issue. Which is the entire goddamn reason that risk reduction and managed coping mechanisms are used to treat self harming impulses in the first fucking place.

God.

I get that I’ve been in therapy since I was 7, but like, this isn’t Super Special Secret Level 57 therapeutic knowledge, guys, it’s literally “I have ever taken a 45 minute introductory course on how to support depressed people” knowledge.

So yeah, no. If someone is safely and cognizently engaging in impact or sensory kink play in order to stave off self harming impulses, that is clinically supported a way to treat self-harm, not a form of it.