Since telling my Mum that I considered myself ace, I already noticed that she was a bit… too interested, if you want to say it like that. Asking for “signs”, or how being ace feels like… I tried to answer her to the best of my ability, giving her links to websites that would explain better as I ever could.
Today she said, very quietly, “Do you think I could be ace, too?”
And I said very carefully “If you think it suits you, I don’t see why not”
And my Mum, my strong, self-confident Mum, who never once has ever felt uncomfortable in her own skin as far as I know, beamed in relief. Relief.
Because she never knew. Because getting married young and bearing children for her husband (meaning sex) was expected of her. Because everyone gave her the feeling as if something would be wrong or broken about her if she didn’t want, didn’t do that.
Because her whole life long, she thought there was something wrong with her.
I’m honestly torn between feeling happy and relieved for her, and angry that humanity has such trouble with showing some understanding to those who don’t fit in the boxes society has designed for all of us.
Update: My
Mum was getting ready for bed when I noticed her humming loudly around her
toothbrush and I asked her what the good mood was about.
She beamed
around a mouth-full of toothpaste and said, very proudly and deliberately, “I
think I like that, being ace.”
And continued
on with her brushing, humming a bit louder.
(Or in
other words, I’m more than a little bit teary eyed.)
I had almost the exact same conversation with my Mom. We were talking about the LGBT acronym and explained that it’s LGBTQ and that some people add the PIA at the end as well. And she asked me “What’s the a?” So when I explained it she said immediately “Me. That’s like me.”
This is why I get so mad at people who think this is all just trendy bs, people just don’t have the vocabulary or permission to describe their lived experience.
This is the most wholesome thing I’ve ever read, bless this post 🙌🏼
I am your mum. I grew up in a time where being ace was completely unknown. I did what was expected of me. Marry and have kids. I’ve always wondered what is “wrong” with me. I was over 50 years old before I realized that I am ace. Honestly, it’s such a relief to know.
im sorry did i miss something or are people advocating for the actual real life mafia right now
is this a mad lib
I saw that thread, he said the Mafia shows how you don’t need hierarchies and can be successful in commiting crimes purely on a system of honor. He missed a few things:
1) the honor stuff is mostly bullshit, they’re psychopaths who murder each other all the time, it’s how John Gotti came to power.
2) The Mafia is completely hierarchial, even the glamorized movie versions, which is clearly where his image of them was coming from.
3) To the extent they do follow any of their own rules, they do it because they’re afraid of being murdered and because they make shitloads of money. They put up with the chain of command because this is the only job where a high school dropout with an IQ of 85 can make high six figures.
4) They’re not successful, they barely exist anymore. They were already in decline when Sammy The Bull put the final nail in the coffin and turned over the entire Gambino family. In the middle of the 20th century that had an estimated half a million members, now it’s down to roughly 2,000, and with no political power or central coordination.
But sure, go ahead, mimic this extremely successful organization without giving anyone any money and with people who have economic opportunities that won’t get them killed.
how much of an absolute dipshit do you have to be to think the Mafia isn’t hierarchical. How do you look at an organization where people are literally referred to as ‘Don’ and go “oh yes, this strikes me as following anarchist principles”
While the Baltic Sea might seem boring and mundane compared to tropical oceans, it has a fairly diverse and very odd assemblage of fish. It’s the world’s largest pool of brackish water, but it’s geologically so young, there are no specialized brackish water species.
So it’s a confusing mix. There are resilient ocean species, often smaller than their oceanic counterparts and unable to breed in some parts of the sea, and just as resilient freshwater fish venturing into the salty parts. Arctic fish mixed with temperate species coming from south. Oceanic fish that once invaded fresh waters and then returned here, now unable to tolerate full ocean salinity.
Fish that give birth, fish whose males get pregnant, fish whose eyes migrate over their heads during their lifetimes, fish that build nests, fish that smell like fresh cucumber. We have everything.
Made for Sieppo, a children’s magazine published by The Finnish Association for Nature Conservation.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
You must be logged in to post a comment.