This is the October 2018 edition of this post, and hopefully the final version.

Dessie is now ten years old. Yay!! For the last two years, she’s held steady at 22% total kidney function, in Stage Four Chronic Kidney Disease. At her last nephrologist visit, her creatinine has gone up. She says she’s tired all the time.

We think she’s tipping over to Stage 5 CKD/End Stage Renal Disease. Her next visit to the nephrologist is in December, and I’m expecting to get the diagnosis then. If not, great! But I’m not hopeful.

I think we’ll need to make another trip to Seattle Chikdren’s Hospital then, so they can run their own labs and make her active on the deceased donor transplant list. Normally, I’ve been told by them, once a child is active on the last, they typically receive a donor kidney within six months to a year. So I think 2019 will be her year of the transplant. Possibly dialysis before then — I know her local nephrologist wants to avoid it if we can.

The transplant itself requires we stay in Seattle for three to four months, with frequent follow ups afterwards. (First every month, then every two months, then every three months.). Each trip by car takes 6.5-8 hours each way, and usually two tanks of gas. Special Mobilty Services can help with gas, and lodging, if we can give them two weeks notice.

The transplant will be a journey in every sense of the word. I would love it if this could be fully funded before then.

If you have a spare kidney and want to try to be her living donor, here’s the Donors need to between 21-45, in reasonably good health, and O+ blood type. No smoking or drinking alcohol, not even occasionally. If this is something you’re interested, please contact the University of Washington’s living donor program at 206-598-3627, and mention you’re interested in donating to Dessie McAdams. That begins the process.

I’m a single mom, with three kids. To deal with my hideous finances which have put us in the negative regularly since May of 2017, to get us back on our feet, we are moving in with my mother for at least the next year. Perhaps longer; she hasn’t put a deadline on it. I think I’m going to have to declare bankruptcy to get our from under, which will tank my already bad credit score. So I’m not sure of our prospects afterwards; if I could, I’d rather buy a place than rent, but even renting will be hard, with bad credit and high rents.

In the most immediate future, we need about $300-500 through October to either rent a dumpster or hire a junk hauling service to clear out the backyard, garage, and basement. There’s a lot of heavy stuff my mom and I can’t handle.

This move to my mom’s also gets us away from my ex and his family, and Imbin the process of getting the parenting agreement modified to supervised visitation. He molested Dessie, by her account, sometime while we were married, around when she was 4-5. (I reported it to CPS and the police as soon as I learned of this, but as it was some years after it occurred, there was no evidence and they did nothing).

He’s also verbally and emotionally abused all of us.

His family may decide to bring in a lawyer for him with the requested change in parenting plan; I don’t know.

I guess what I’m saying is, once we move we’ll be doing better than we have in a long while. But help is still needed. A miracle, even, if it could be so, to get us through her transplant and from there to a safe place to live independently. Please get this fully funded (or more) as soon as possible, if it can be done.

If you don’t want to use the GoFundMe, that’s fine. We also have


SquareCash $KerryRen

And CirclePay at

If using these, please let me know who you are and if you’d like to be publicly thanked. Not all the apps are conducive to interactions, I’ve noticed.

We are incredibly grateful for all the help we’ve received through tumblr so far. You guys have literally helped keep us alive.

If you can’t donate, don’t worry about it. If you don’t want to, don’t bother me about it. Boosts and reblogs still help, though!

Here, have a cute pic of Dessie with a plush kidney a mutual sent her!

On 12/18/18 we’re going to see her nephrologist, where I fully expect to learn that she’s tipped into Chronic Kidney Disease, Stage Five/End Stage Renal Disease. Then I’m pretty sure we’ll need to make another trip to Seattle Children’s Hospital to activate her on their deceased donor list. (She’s on it, but st on-hold status).

As they prioritize children as donor recipients, typically once active in the list, a child receives a needed kidney within six months to one year. So it’s quite likely 2019 will be her kidney year.

If there’s any way we can get this fully funded before then, I don’t know how I’ll express the depth of my and my family’s gratitude.



Few months ago I started asking for donations because my sister’s husband left with another woman and has move to another country. We didn’t know where excacly. He doesn’t pay for anything, he doesn’t send any money. He is a piece of shit. He was homophobic towards me, he cheated on her when she was pregnant. He was controlling and jealous of everything. But my sister stayed with him because of the child.

Also she had to leave the place they live for the last 9 years because it was bought by his parents and they told her to move out. They never liked her and us because my family is poor.

She is back now in our parents home where I sill live too. There’s only two small rooms in the house, kitchen and one bathroom. All of this for 5 people now. They sleep on the floor in my bedrooom.

Also a two months ago my sister had a car accident and her car was completely trash. And she needs one because we live 5km from school and there’s no bus on my street or the next one.

For the last couple of months we raised 843$. It goes for bills, school payments and supplies and meds.

My sister is really depressed now and we need to help her with everything. She started taking antidepressands. They are not cheap and she still doesn’t work. So I ask you to help us a little more, maybe a month or two. You can find the rest information here.

Also we all are strugling so much. We only have my father’s pension. that’s 1300zl for five people for the entire month. My health is not letting me work right now. I have asthma attacks almost every day. and I may have SM like my mom. Right now i don’t have money to buy meds. I have 4zł in my bank account. I don’t know what to do. All my meds:


 Please if you can spare even a dollar, it would be amazing. I need at least $300 to the end of next week. Paypal:


@katisconfused – That really sucks :/ And I can totally understand why you wouldn’t want to end up in that kind of situation.

Honestly, just watching that up close once had a whole lot to do with my never planning on getting married. And then only really doing it to satisfy immigration. (To somebody else who hadn’t planned on it either 🙄)

That has at least lasted longer than my parents’ did already, but I still get nervous about the idea of things turning ugly. No signs of that so far, but yeah. It’s hard not to worry sometimes.

(Partly because I can relate so much to the “best chance of survival” part, tbqh. It also really sucks that this is the case for so many disabled people in particular. Nobody should have to be that dependent even if it didn’t tend to encourage some bad dynamics. But, preaching to the choir here.)

masterpost of tumblr alternatives


this post will be updated as I find more websites to add! please check with the original before reblogging to see if there’s an updated version, and message me with corrections or more suggestions if you have them!!

websites in red have explicitly forbidden the posting of NSFW content. websites in orange allow certain types of NSFW content or have questionable / unclear guidelines.

for general use

  • – built on myspace, great blog customization
  • – added for completeness, but has a huge alt-right + racism issue
  • – basically like if twitter and discord had a child??
  • – privacy-focused, has groups and private messages
  • – allows you to exchange traffic for being promoted (??)
  • – yes, it still exists, i’m just as surprised as you
  • – similar to tumblr with reblogs / likes / customizing of blogs
  • – easy sharing and collecting, but has many issues with theft
  • – an exact tumblr clone down to the default images (??)
  • – allows posting both text and photos in sets, allows retweets

geared towards writers and bloggers

  • – specializes in hosting fic, excellent tagging system
  • – a blogging site similar to livejournal or wordpress
  • – another big name in fanfic posting
  • – technically an option, likely unsafe for LGBTQ peeps
  • – for creative writers, centered around community feedback
  • – decent website for original / fan fic and fandom quizzes
  • – hosts webnovels and other fanfic, nice dark theme
  • – modern pretty fic site with direct links to irl publishers
  • – old and well-established, often considered the default

geared towards artists and photographers

  • – excellent website for posting professional art portfolios
  • – meant for professionals posting various visual media types
  • – huge community, allows posting art + sorting into folders
  • – great community for photographers, can join groups
  • – similar to DA but for furries, easy to display commish info
  • – very similar to pixiv, with imo better tagging
  • – photo and video posts, excellent tag search
  • – an oldie but a goodie, allows a ton of media types
  • – allows both streaming and posting art / photosets to a gallery
  • – huge anime art community, allows livestreaming
  • – app only, similar to insta but with MUCH more privacy control

chat or forum based

  • – community-based, has blogs + chat, custom themes
  • – great chat app, text + voice, can join infinite servers
  • – literally a community for everything, SO MANY CAT PHOTOS

18+ only

  • – microblogging + social media for people into kink
  • – a tumblr clone created specifically for sharing porn
  • – considered one of the biggest kink communities online
  • – beautiful + modern site for posting irl nsfw and kink stuff
  • – for posting of erotic stories, replaces bdsmlibrary

paid platforms

  • – subscription-based access to many diff types of content
  • – similar to wordpress but with reblogging and a dash

up-and-coming platforms

  • pillowfort.ioclosed beta. should function almost identically to tumblr but with many many improvements
  • poizen.medevelopment alpha. gorgeous website for artists to post art AND track comms
    • this one’s still early in development but looks incredibly promising as a platform and super pretty to look at!! go snap up a username before all the good ones are taken! favouritism what’s that
  • qink.copre-alpha. 18+ only. plans to be a kink-oriented replacement for tumblr.

defunct platforms

(so people will stop telling me i forgot them)

  • – shut down in 2014 due to lack of funds
  • – now redirects to someone’s personal blog
  • – more or less closed down this year due to GDPR issues

ways to save your current tumblr posts

  • use the wayback machine! you do have to archive each page of your blog individually but once you do all the content, including media, will be saved exactly as it was at the moment you archived it.
  • wordpress allows you to directly import whole tumblr blogs, and if i recall correctly it’s something both dreamwidth and pillowfort have said they are working on.
  • tumblthree is a great tool with a ton of functions including downloading whole blogs, only posts tagged with a certain tag, all the posts you’ve liked, etc. etc. along with being able to download every type of media hosted on tumblr (pictures, videos, audio, everything). it also has a proper GUI so no computer knowledge required beyond downloading and running programs!
  • if you have some knowledge of computers you can try this github solution which uses a python script to download your whole blog to your computer. even if you don’t know anything about programming or the command line they give a very good beginners tutorial on how to use it so you should still give it a shot!
  • here’s another python script that should allow you to archive all the images from your blog or your likes, though it requires some knowledge of python and the command line or very very good google skills.

some notes

edit: please stop commenting on this post to self-promote your porn accounts on other sites. those replies / reblogs will be deleted or hidden.

please note that every site on this list will have pros and cons, and i haven’t listed them here since this post would be a mile long otherwise. please do your research before moving completely over to another site in case they have policies you disagree with.

also, because I see a lot of misinformed people ranting about this: deviantart does not own the art you post. some years ago hot topic stole a ton of art from DA and sold it on merchandise and people assumed that DA gave them permission to do it despite there being literally zero evidence for that claim. DA explictly states in their TOS that you retain copyright and sole license of the art you post.

and related, mastodon does not allow or condone CP or pedophilia. the people spreading this info are misinformed about what mastodon is. it is not an exact twitter clone; anyone anywhere can host a mastodon instance using their personal computer as a server, which means mastodon as a company can’t do jack shit to moderate them. what they DO is permanently block all users from every other instance from viewing or interacting with that instance, and add that instance to a publicly viewable list along with the reason for the block. please give their post about anti-abuse measures a read before making snap judgements.

post version 5.1, 2018-12-04 23:46 AST

on fandom and content policing





So, listen.

While we’re all having a good laugh and/or panic at tumblr’s incompetent censorship implosion, I just want to take this opportunity to draw a parallel to a lot of the recent fandom wank about what content should or shouldn’t be allowed on AO3. Specifically: there’s a lot of people who want the Archive to ban particular types of fic, but who have no real understanding of how you would actually implement that in practice.

While there are legitimate arguments to be made about the unwisdom of tumblr’s soon-to-be-forbidden content choices – the whole “female-presenting nipples” thing and the apparent decision to prioritise banning tits over banning Nazis, for instance – the functional problem isn’t that they’ve decided to monitor specific types of content, but that they’ve got no sensible way of enacting their own policies. Quite clearly, you can’t entrust the process to bots: just today, I’ve seen flagged content that runs the gamut from Star Trek: TOS screenshots to paleo fish art to quilts to the entire chronic pain tag to a text post about a gay family member with AIDS – and at the same time, I’ve still been seeing porn gifs on my dash. 

It’s absolute chaos, which is what happens when you try to outsource to programs the type of work that can only reliably be done by people – and even then, there’s still going to be bad or dubious or unpopular decisions made, because invariably, some things will need to be judged on a case by case basis, and people don’t always agree on where the needle should fall. 

Now: consider that this is happening because tumblr is banning particular types of images. Images, at least, you can kiiiiinda moderate by bots, provided you’re using the bot-process as a filter to cut down on the amount of work done by actual humans, and also provided you’re willing to take a huge credibility hit given the poor initial accuracy of said bots, but: images. Bots can be sorta trained to recognise and sort those, right?

But the kind of AI sophistication you’d need to moderate all the content on a text-based site like AO3? That… yeah. That literally doesn’t exist, and going by tags and keywords wouldn’t help you either, because there’d be no handy way to distinguish what type of usage was present just on that basis alone. Posts about content generated by neural nets are hilarious precisely because our AI isn’t there yet, and based on what we’ve seen so far, we won’t be there for a good long while.  

It’s a point I’ve made again and again, but I’m going to reiterate it here: it’s always easy to conjure up the most obvious, extreme and clear-cut examples of undesirable content when you’re discussing bans in theory, but in practice, you need to have a feasible means of enacting those rules with some degree of accuracy, speed and accountability that’s attainable within both budget and context, or else the whole thing becomes pointless. 

On massive sites like AO3 and tumblr, the considerable expense of monitoring so much user-generated content with paid employees is, to a degree, obviated by the concept of tagging and blocking, the idea being that users can curate and control their own experience to avoid unpleasant material. There still needs to be oversight, of course – at absolute minimum, a code of conduct and a means of reporting those who violate it to a human authority in a position to enforce said code – but the thing is, given how much raw content accrues on social media and at what speed, you really need these policies to be in place, and actively enforced, from the get-go: otherwise, when you finally do start trying to moderate, you’ll have to wade through the entire site’s backlog while also trying to keep abreast of new content.

Facebook, which is a multi-billion dollar corporation, can afford to have paid human moderators in place for assessing content violations instead of relying on bots; however, it is also notoriously terrible at both following its own standards and setting them in the first place. To take an example salient to the tumblr mess, Facebook has an ongoing problem with how it handles breastfeeding posts, while its community standards regarding what counts as hate speech are, uhhh… Not Great. Twitter has similarly struggled with bot accounts proliferating during multiple recent elections and with the seemingly simple task of deplatforming Nazis – not because they can’t, but because they don’t want to take a quote-on-quote political stance, even for the sake of cleaning house. 

It’s also because, quite frankly, neither Facebook nor Twitter were originally thought of as entities that would one day be ubiquitous and powerful enough to be used to sway elections; and when that capability was first realised by those with enough money and power to take advantage of it, there were no internal safeguards to stop it happening, and not nearly enough external comprehension of or appreciation for the risks among those in positions of authority to impose some in time to make a difference. Because even though time spent scrolling through social media passes like reverse dog years – which is to say, two hours can frequently feel like ten minutes – its impact is such that we fall into the trap of thinking that it’s been around forever, instead of being a really recent phenomenon. Facebook launched in 2004, YouTube in 2005, Twitter in 2006, tumblr in 2007, AO3 in 2009, Instagram in 2010, Snapchat in 2011, tinder in 2012, Discord in 2015. Even Livejournal, that precursor blog-and-fandom space, only began in 1999, with the purge of strikethrough happening in 2007. Long-term, we’re still running a global beta on How To Do Social Media Without Fucking Up, because this whole internet thing is still producing new iterations of old problems that we’ve never had to deal with in this medium before – or if so, then not on this scale, within whatever specific parameters apply to each site, in conjunction with whatever else is happening that’s relevant, with whatever tools or budget we have to hand. It is messy, and I really don’t see that changing anytime soon.   

All of which is a way of saying that, while it’s far from impossible to moderate content on social media, you need to have actual humans doing it, a clear reporting process set up, a coherent set of rules, a willingness to enforce those rules consistently – or at least to explain the logic behind any changes or exceptions and then stand by them, too – and the humility to admit that, whatever you planned for your site to be at the outset, success will mean that it invariably grows beyond that mandate in potentially strange and unpredictable ways, which will in turn require active thought and anticipation on your part to successfully deal with.

Which is why, compared to what’s happening on other sites, the objections being raised about AO3 are so goddamn frustrating – because, right from the outset, it has had a clear set of rules: it’s just not one that various naysayers like. Content-wise, the whole idea of the tagging system, as stated in the user agreement, is that you enter at your own risk: you are meant to navigate your own experience using the tools the site has provided – tools it has constantly worked to upgrade as the site traffic has boomed exponentially – and there’s a reporting process in place for people who transgress otherwise. AO3 isn’t perfect – of course it isn’t – but it is coherent, which is exactly what tumblr, in enacting this weird nipple-purge, has failed to be. 

Plus and also: the content on AO3 is fictional. As passionate as I am about the impact of stories on reality and vice versa, this is nonetheless a salient distinction to point out when discussing how to manage AO3 versus something like Twitter or tumblr. Different types of content require different types of moderation: the more variety in media formats and subject matter and the higher the level of complex, real-time, user-user interaction, the harder it is to manage – and, quite arguably, the more managing it requires in the first place. Whereas tumblr has reblogs, open inboxes and instant messaging, interactions on AO3 are limited to comments and that’s it: users can lock, moderate or throw their own comment threads open as they choose, and that, in turn, cuts down on how much active moderation is necessary.   

tl;dr: moderating social media sites is actually a lot harder and more complicated than most people realise, and those lobbying for tighter content control in places like AO3 should look at how broad generalisations about what constitutes a Bad Post are backfiring now before claiming the whole thing is an easy fix.

Most of this rings true, but as a software dev with an (nonexpert) interest in AI, the idea that bots can recognise and categorise images easier than text is pretty much the opposite of anything I’ve ever read on the subject, unless things have changed drastically recently.

Sure, bots are shit at understanding text. They’re just shitter at understanding images.

Text: can probably work if ‘balls’ is nsfw from context, might struggle to work out erotica vs sex ed.

Images: *picture of round earring* is this a nipple??

The problem here is that people’s complaints about AO3 weren’t about “NSFW content.” If it were just “does it mention a dick?” that would be a much simpler problem.

They were saying AO3 should ban, say, portrayals of rape, or of underage sex – but many of those people will then agree that they’re only talking about certain portrayals of these things.

Can a bot figure out whether a story is portraying a rape in a positive or negative light? PEOPLE can’t even agree on that. Can a bot identify the exact ages of all participants in a sexual scene, even if those ages aren’t mentioned anywhere because anyone familiar with that particular canon would know them? Hell, can a bot even figure out if a sex scene is consensual?? Many humans can’t even fucking figure that out in real life. And then there are fics containing rape play, where people consent to have what looks like non-consensual sex.

Foz has posted before about how difficult-to-impossible it would be for humans to consistently apply the standards people push for, even if everyone could agree on those standards. These definitely aren’t the kinds of judgments current AI is capable of making.

I want to reblog this excellent addition, because it’s essentially what I put in my tags as well. 

One of the things that’s so complicated about this conversation—and something both porcupine-girl and fozmeadows are hitting really well—is that for a lot of AO3 detractors, it’s not that people are writing stories about rape, incest, etc, but how they’re writing about them. Not “how dare you write an underage scene,” but rather “how dare you fetishize/romanticize/wank off to underage sex in your writing?” Forget about a bot figuring out if sex is consensual; what if it’s definitely not? Trying to find a line between merely depicting and romanticizing…is literally impossible, because all humans have had different experiences, will read and see things different ways. For that matter, I could write something meant to be horrifying and in no way sexy, and someone could still find it sexy. They could find the fact that my character finds it upsetting sexy, too! You can’t control the way someone reads your work, no matter how hard you try; you can’t control thought

The big social media platforms are currently grappling with moderation at scale. Facebook is utterly incompetent, on both the automated side and the human side. YouTube has long been a shitshow on this front. Things are…clearly not going well at Tumblr! All of these efforts are inherently going to barrel right over context. Tumblr’s “is it nipple art tho” question is a great example, as is the blurring of any distinctions between erotica and porn. 

AO3′s tagging system—which isn’t flawless, and relies on mutual trust across thousands and thousands of people—actually sort of deliberately removes context, on a platform level. If I tag something “noncon,” of course I can add more tags like, “but sexy tho” or “NOT SEXY THO JUST UPSETTING,” but generally, I’m trying to let people know that my story contains nonconsensual sex. That’s either a big backspace for people who don’t want to read that, regardless of context, or a flag for people who then step in and determine the context for themselves. And that interpretation, of course, will vary from reader to reader. But it shifts that decision from the platform to the reader—something that’s not going to work on a big social media platform, at least not in any way that I can envision. Certainly not on a site with traditional commercial pressures.