The degree to which sex is treated casually is not uniform across society. I’d say some take it too seriously and others not seriously enough. It also depends on whether your definition of casual implies irresponsibility. Sex can indeed change lives completely, so it must be handled very responsibly. But that doesn’t mean it must be forbidden, hidden or otherwise treated as tumblr’s staff and some of the hatemail I’m getting are treating it.
As for restraint, I can only say that I have more regrets about restraint than I do about its absence. Your mileage may vary.
Amen to that.
Moderation. Balance. It isn’t everything. It isn’t nothing. In short, it’s all about balance you fuck.
I agree so was the “you fuck” really needed?
As always I implore my followers not to send mean things to people I respond to here.
If so my apologies for misreading. Balanced fucking is a necessity, especially in more exotic positions.
Since my brain apparently just won’t let this go, a little more about that dig from my uncle that I talked around some a few days ago.
Relevant snippet from his message:
(Sounds pretty mild out of context, right? There’s plenty of not-so-nice context, however, and this is him trying hard to be pleasant dealing with me. Which actually makes it more exasperating, in a way.)
Almost the first thing my grandmother said, right in front of me, when my mother and I arrived at their house to move in after the split:
“I knew you were impossible to live with, but what did you do to make him leave?!”
(*proceed into histrionics with more insults along the same lines, until my grandfather yells at my mom some more for making her mother so upset*)
What my mother actually did, AFAICT: Get subjected to escalating abuse, run around on for years, and wiped out financially–and apparently feel like she had to put up with it until he left. But, she would also yell at him, and generally get baited into some iffy-looking responses in front of other people 😩
Why Bill wanted out, AFAICT: Whatever money they had was gone, the house was getting foreclosed on through his own doing, and he had a girlfriend set up to move in with.
I guess that is understandable, as to why he might be ready to leave. But, not in the way my uncle probably means.
How Bill handled it: Turned full-on “Divorce-Related Fetid Fathering Syndrome” stalker even though he was the one who left (with more details through the link; I don’t have the spoons to repeat right now). Link since the upload keeps choking when I try to add it properly: http://clatterbane.tumblr.com/post/53326481418/divorce-related-fetid-fathering-syndrome
See also: the last handful of reblogs here, which I decided to just bring back in case someone else might benefit. It was not a good situation at all.
By the time he took off, he was acting unhinged to the point that he had decided my grandfather and this uncle were both out to get him, AFAICT mostly because they were not accepting his bullshit. And he was threatening to kill them too, in front of me. In retrospect, it was probably lucky that he did take off rather than go on some kind of rampage.
They were not getting along very well at all, for years that I witnessed. I was there. And that was with people other than him trying to put on a good front and not make things harder on a kid who was stuck in the middle. I could still tell that they didn’t think much of his behavior, and no damned wonder. He started showing open contempt for people other than the Family Scapegoat. My uncle is hardly stupid. He noticed this and didn’t much like it.
Anyway, what my uncle said (and carefully left unsaid, knowing him) does not make any sense whatsoever outside the kind of terrible scapegoating family dynamics which produced “I knew you were impossible to live with, but what did you do to make him leave?!”
Everybody knows my mother was an impossible-to-live-with Crazy Bitch, and surely whatever bad behavior she wasn’t exaggerating/just making up she must have provoked in some way.
(Never mind the less slick abusive behavior you saw later, when Bill wasn’t even trying to get you on his side anymore. That can be safely edited out.)
That is also a neat setup if you’re behaving in abusive ways, and targeting said already scapegoated Crazy Bitch. Who basically married you to get out of a family situation like that in the first place.
Which is indeed kinda why I suspect she felt like she had to put up with abusive behavior in a marriage for that long.
Some unfortunately classic dynamics, yeah. Which I could only really start looking at more once I wasn’t buried in it all the time. And I was never the kind of family scapegoat she was, to bear the brunt.
It still makes me mad that my uncle is just continuing to echo this BS without any kind of critical thought. And that seems to extend to realizing he’s even doing it, as I commented more on before.
Not much is likely to change some behavior there. I realize this. I still have a right to get angry.
Including at that urge to minimize the whole earlier situation also kinda throwing me under the bus. As the other party in the middle most affected by some horrible behavior. That’s not even the main reason this went all over me the way it did, but it certainly didn’t help.
I’ve had more than enough of people trying to edit reality for others around them by now. That pisses me off Besides continuing to scapegoat a dead person, that’s probably what gets me the worst about this relatively small example of some fucked-up family dynamics.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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