do u ever feel like you’ve accidentally tricked certain people into thinking you are smarter and have more potential than you actually do and do you ever think about how disappointed they’ll be when you inevitably crash and burn
Fun fact: Impostor Syndrome is ridiculously common among high-achievers, particularly women. If you identify with this post, odds are pretty good that you’re exactly as smart as people think you are, and the failure you’re afraid of isn’t inevitable at all.
Even Maya Angelou stated, “I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’”
and don’t forget this is one of the psychological barriers placed in by thousands years of patriarchy and male supremacy.
My computer science professor actually talked about this on the first day, it was really cool.
Funbrutal fact: in addition to the existence of imposter syndrome, being “twice exceptional” (also known as 2e) is also a thing. That means being intellectually gifted AND ALSO having a disability that affects your ability to succeed at study or work. Such as ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyscalculia, etc etc etc. A lot of people believe that it’s not possible to be both, but it very much is.
Society tends to have very high expectations for how well gifted people will perform. Society tends to have low expectations for how well disabled people will perform. Society tends to attribute invisible disabilities, including mental illness, to a failure of willpower or effort or a bad attitude.
So if you read this post and went “no, but seriously, this is not just low self esteem on my part, people keep thinking I’m smart and then I keep crashing and burning and disappointing them and they can’t understand why I didn’t live up to their expectations, it happens again and again and when I tell someone how I feel and ask for help, they just tell me to stop being so hard on myself and that I’ll succeed if I have more self-confidence,” it is not just you.
(Also, one of the previous posts in this thread buried the lede a little. Imposter syndrome is ridiculously common in people from underrepresented groups in academia and other high pressure/high status fields, particularly women and people of colour. Maya Angelou did not only feel out of place because she was a woman.)
This essay also totally changed my view on the intersection of impostor syndrome and mental illness.
Day: August 21, 2017
Please help me leave an abusive relationship!
If you’ve been following me for a while, you more than likely know what’s going on, but for those who don’t know: I’ve been in an extremely toxic, abusive relationship for the past 6 ½ years with my son’s father. We have a 3 year old together. While I did leave him last year, I (stupidly) came back in March under the promises of “things would change” etc etc. He has been emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually, and financially abusive. He threatens suicide every time I try to leave him. He’s flipped tables, thrown things, pushed me down a flight of stairs, pulled a knife on me, tried to drag me out of the house by my feet at 15 weeks pregnant. He gaslights me DAILY. Yesterday, he punched a hole in the bedroom door. My dad is going to cosign for a new apartment for me back in my hometown, as long as I cover the costs he is going to help me move. I’ve already got a rental application submitted. I’m done I’m leaving I’m OUT. I have tangible proof and I can break the lease without repercussions through the domestic violence clause in the lease.
I just need help with the intial moving costs and initial housing costs- the apartment I applied for is $645 a month, security deposit same amount. First months rent and security deposit due at lease signing. Moving costs are around $400 (it’s a 300 mile move so it gets expensive fast)
My PayPal is email@example.com
You can shop my website if donating isn’t your thing! www.bizaanideewin.com
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG
Also update on this- dad backed out on consigning so looking for a different place with a private landlord! I’ve got a few I’m looking at already and will be setting up showings for next week.
I also have venmo @binesiikwens
I don’t have a hard time believing this.
I’m looking for ppl to shoot, if you’re in or visiting NYC, please let me know if something can be arranged.
I live in Staten Island please come kill me please
Oh shit I just read ya tags you talkin bout photography 👀 ma bad
Staunton Spectator, Virginia, December 8, 1868
someone specific is being called out here, and he probably knew who he was.
#15 – *Accidental* ban
Because the architects don’t always think about everything… or everyone!
Grandma Miller will be back next week along with a sweet little surprise from my boyfriend and me! Stay in touch!
Thank you for reading this week’s comics and have a wonderful day!
Nat & Nat
Mrs Miller is such a rebel, I love her.
Access is a right, but if you’re gonna eat outside anyway, why not order pizza/Chinese/whatever and then eat it outside whilst sitting at a table/on a wall/sidewalk just as you would with a hot dog?
Sit down restaurants don’t usually do take away as well. And that means you can’t eat out – you have to actually be somewhere they can deliver to, and a bench in a mall isn’t an address.
Maybe you want to sit down, enjoy table service and get dessert after too. Being in a wheelchair shouldn’t prevent that.
Am I just being persnickety or does this say “intuit by telepathy when you do something wrong, even if no one tells you?”
Like, social justice is important, but we haven’t developed mind reading tech yet
I find that so much of SJ expects people to be mind readers and it just reminds me of my abusive friends who constantly punished me for not being able to read their minds constantly. For not knowing what I did wrong, what was on their mind, what color balloon they preferred (“that’s MY color, you should know that and always leave that one for me. Pick a different one!”)
Also the intuition thing feels kinda. Ableismy?? Not to just throw a scary word out. My intuition about a lot of things is not that great. I make a fool of myself a lot. But it’s because my brain does not pick up on things that might be common sense to others.
this just in: telling white people to stop relying on people of color to give them answers when they can just as easily go to google is abusive and ableist. thank you, so much, tumblr user newvagabond.
what the living fuck this is the biggest reach leave op’s post if you can’t seem to grasp this basic concept lmao
Yeahhh, not only a huge reach but an incredibly uncharitable one considering I’m talking about my experience as 1. someone who was abused (and who had PTSD) and 2. someone who is disabled.
And now people are calling me dumb! Which is a Cool Woke Thing to call a disabled person apparently.
Also worth noting… I’m mixed race. So me talking about this isn’t “lololol wypipo”, it’s, “hey, I exist on both sides and I see that this is a problem.”
Yeah. If you want to lol wypipo, yell at me, not my mixed friend.
I feel like in general expecting people to “teach themselves” this shit is practically impossible.
Like first off, a white person is not going to notice racism as easily. Even someone “woke” isn’t going to know ALL the possible fuckups.
To make matters worse, some things only like half of a marginalized group thinks it is offensive, meaning you get mixed messages on if to support things.
And this is assuming you are the average neurotypical with good social skills and can pick up on when you fuck up. But if you are the kind of disabled where you have people bullying you over everything you say because you can’t read the room, tell when you’re too rude, understand certian shit is socially inappropriate etc. It’s even worse becaise you likely won’t realize you’ve done anything wrong. If you have people react awkwardly often you might pick up on discomfort but you might assume its the usual “you are loud and annoying” kind vs. “This is offensive” kind.
Like if you don’t want to educate people that’s fine, don’t be an activist. God knows not everyone can be. But there needs to be some kind of actual education going on because if not most people will probably just give up trying to be better instead of attempting to research shit when they don’t even know what to google. This is literally worse then the “this is a bad post/___ist/wrong” reblogs because at least you can try to guess based on post content.
As someone who has had the shit beaten out of me for not being able to read people, I have to agree.
And it’s something a LOT of us disabled people know, but… being around us will tell you about it, or show it to you.
That and also…
…no one kind of oppression is special. No one experiences everything.
And this unforgiving approach of ~good people know everything without needing to be taught~ is a pretty strong indicator that someone thinks they know everything. And that they’re not likely to be so interested in listening when they don’t.
Also like, when you have no more information than “I made an error and now everyone is angry” and asking what you did wrong just makes people more angry, then you don’t actually have a googlable question.
Partial eclipse as seen through a collinder
St Nectan’s Glen, Cornwall, England by miltonpics
Blessed be the publishers that put numbers on the spines of books in a series, put chronological lists in the title pages, and say “the first in the ____ series”
For they shall inherit the money of readers. Amen.
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