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gingerautie:

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gingerautie:

tygermama:

so it’s official, my eldest has been diagnosed with autism

there’s a lot of talk about different supports that I will be able to access, it’s all in the air at the moment, I’m still processing

basically I’m ‘well, now we know for sure and can direct our efforts appropriately’

part of me is worried about these ‘social skills classes’ though, I follow enough autistic people to know that these programs can be sketchy, I don’t want him to be abused

I’m trying to respect his sensory issues, which at this point are – needs something for noise as needed, doesn’t like how lotion feels on his hands but he’ll let me put it on him (dermatitis), he needs a new bed probably because the loft bed is squeaky and he doesn’t like it, doesn’t like hugs so when he does hug me, it definitely feels like he’s doing me a favor

he has dysgraphia, so we need to work on fine motor skills and his gross motor needs work too

baby steps, though

I need to get both my kids Alphasmart Neos, they really like the ones the program has

any one have any suggestions how to help him wash his hair better, I dunno, he’s 13 and touchy about the subject

Re dysgraphia: “working on” motor skills isn’t likely to do much. If the bit of his brain that does that doesn’t do that well, then practice won’t make much difference. 

With stuff like handwriting, he probably already practices it lots, and any extra practice (even like an hour a day) isn’t going to make a significant difference if there’s already 3-4 hours of writing built into the school day. 

Even large improvements aren’t likely to bring his handwriting up to “typical” levels. The 3 requirements here are 1. speed, 2. legibility and 3. endurance. If you can’t write at a reasonable speed, readable to most people, for long periods, then you haven’t reached the minimum standard for handwriting.

My handwriting is either illegible, slow, or painful. I can choose one out of the 3 requirements. So I get a computer in exams, and I can take notes on a laptop. Being pulled out of lessons to practice handwriting for hours on end made no difference, accommodating me so that my handwriting didn’t affect my exam results did.

Re: hairwashing: It really depends what the issue is. If it’s sensory, depends what the specific sensory issue is. Could also be difficulty adjusting to how fast your hair gets greasy during puberty. Dry shampoo might be useful. Explicit instructions on how you’re supposed to do it (eg. lathering) might also be needed, we sometimes miss stuff.

Agreed on the dysgraphia. My handwriting is bad, but I have a note taker accommodation in college, and I get on fine.

Re: hairwashing, etc – it definitely depends what the issue is and in that regard, thirteen is probably old enough to start developing some good self-awareness and self-advocacy as an autistic person. So I would encourage him, even though it might take a while to emotionally adjust to being newly diagnosed, to explore his being autistic and take ownership of the experience. There were so many things I had difficulty with, that I really didn’t understand why, (showering being one of them), that once I was diagnosed and explored all the things about autism from other autistic people, I was able to figure out and change for myself. Plus, it is an embarrassing subject to talk about with your parent at that age, so even if you know you are having trouble, you are likely to want to figure it out on your own. So if he can become even more familiar with things like sensory issues and executive dysfunction, and ways other autistic people have dealt with these things, he can begin the lifelong process of navigating being autistic on his own self awareness and strength, and advocating what he needs.

This is going to sound silly, but I suggest you ask your kid if it hurts
when he writes, and if he says yes, how much writing it takes for his
hand to start hurting.

Handwriting problems in autistic people may be because of physical problems in the hand, not mental stuff. Hypermobility is really common in autistic people for reasons that aren’t well understood, and one of the things it can cause is loose finger joints that lead to poor control of the pencil and severe pain when you write – which autistic kids often think is normal, and which screws with your handwriting.

I never complained to an adult because I assumed writing hurt everyone and I didn’t want to whine, got marked down in grades for illegibility all through K-12, and was diagnosed with a physical disability in college. Now I get a laptop in all of my classes. Right after I was diagnosed, I told my sister – who was at the time almost thirty years old and in the hospital after delivering her second child – that handwriting isn’t supposed to hurt, and she was shocked. She has the same condition.

If this is the case with your son, practicing more may result in worse handwriting, because the problem is that the motions of handwriting put too much stress on fingers. There are braces that can help (I use Oval-8 splints when I have to do something like draw a diagram or write a check) but much of the time it may be better to avoid having to hand write in the first place.

Wait, writing might hurt because of a physical problem?

Like, I was aware that it wasn’t normal, but I just assumed it was a side effect of the motor control issues? I mean, I do write mostly from my elbow, which makes my writing kind of huge. Yeah, I do fine motor control from my elbow. Really good at it for short periods of time though, apparently elbows are better than fingers for that???

And yeah, this is a thing that needs to be established. Like, pulling a kid out of lessons to make them do a boring thing, and pulling them out of lessons to make them do something painful is a distinction teachers should be aware of. 

I get aches in my hand and spreading up my arm when I try to handwrite for more than 10 minutes or so.

Yeah, if you’re autistic and handwriting hurts it’s very likely it’s because of hypermobility.

Hypermobility/EDS type III is a connective tissue disorder where, basically, your joints aren’t held together very well by your tendons and soft tissue, so they just kind of slide around and you have to exert a lot of extra effort moving around. It’s associated with joint and muscle pain that starts at some point in adolescence/early adulthood, fatigue and a variety of other more obscure problems that don’t affect everyone with it.

The diagnostic criteria for hypermobility are the Beighten criteria. It’s unclear whether hypermobility and EDS type III are actually different things, although I’m personally of the opinion that they aren’t; the major difference in who gets diagnosed with what is perceived severity and whether you have problems other than joint pain. Both are very, very commonly comorbid with autism, and nobody really knows why. In the US, both are generally diagnostic by geneticists; I’m not sure about other countries.

Finger joints that bend backwards further than straight, bend ninety degrees back from the hand, thumbs that can touch your wrist, etc, can be signs of hypermobile finger joints that would cause handwriting problems. If you lean very far into the paper or put your head down on your other arm while you write, that’s another sign some people display – it’s an attempt to seek more support.

Ring splints and Oval-8 splints can help (I use oval 8 because they’re what my OT specialist had and they’re cheaper) as can chunky pencil grips, slanted desks and adjusted grips, but honestly, if you have significant handwriting problems that don’t go away with splinting or other adjustments it’s probably better to just arrange your life so you can usually type. Repeatedly stressing hypermobile joints in ways that cause pain can cause worse damage over time.