So here is a fun fact. When I was a teenager I decided to join the CLASSIC METAL FANDOM, my first fandom enviorment was the motley crue shout bbs board. It had such lovely feaures as “gore thread” and like at least half of the threads were sexual shit. Motley crue for example, have a song called “all in the name of” it starts out with “she’s only 15, she’s the reason the reason that I can’t sleep, you say illegal, I say leagals never been my scene”
So basically, explicitly pro statutory rape. So me, fitting the description of the song, lets say was a VERY EASY TARGET…. but the only one who I hooked up with there was a cute gnc guy who was one of the like 5 people on the board my age, because not a SINGLE adult messed with me, many of them came to collect me when I was being dumb and trying to hit on the adults or something NO NO NO DON’T DO THAT.
Idk the song gets stuck in my head sometimes still. This post trigged it poping back in again, in retrospect the lyrics make me cringe. I don’t think? That particular band ever had any member in trouble for that but god knows plenty of classic rock bands did in fact have members like, dating girls as low as thirteen. Which is WAY more problematic then most of what bands get called out for now but people still don’t seem too care. But people go after the fans a lot if songs are like that.
And every time they do I can’t help but think about how the only reason I probably managed to avoid being targeted for an easy victim back then was the kind of problematic people that would get called predators for EXISTING on this site. Being a fan of problematic shit means nothing, it doesn’t mean you’re problematic in the same way yourself.
Getting an Autistic d/Deaf or HoH Person’s Attention
One of the most common things I see the Deaf community explain is that you need to tap, not shout, to get a deaf/Hard of hearing person’s attention.
As someone who uses ASL because of severe auditory processing disorder and wears hearing protection for sensory issues almost 24/7, I want to shed light on the fact that, due to sensory issues and whatever else, many autistic people don’t like being touched.
I’m in that boat. My touch aversion is so severe that just the presence of people and the possibility of being touched accidentally can set off a panic attack for me.
That all said, I really need people to know that touching me to get my attention is a definite no go. As such, here are some alternatives:
GET MY ATTENTION VISUALLY: The best alternative is to use your hand as though you are tapping a surface (a subtle up and down movement) in my peripheral vision. DO NOT wave your hands obnoxiously in my direct line of sight. Seriously. It’s the sign language equivalent to shouting in my ear.
TAP OR KNOCK ON A SURFACE I AM TOUCHING: The second best alternative is to tap or knock the surface of a table or whatever that I am in contact with. The only discrepancy here is that if there is already a lot of movement/vibration (i.e. multiple people at a table), I may be tuning said vibrations out already. If you use this method, make sure it is distinct and rhythmic enough that I can recognise it apart from other peoples’ movements. It’s also important to make sure that you are tapping/knocking hard enough to be felt but not too loudly — that defeats the whole purpose.
MAKE USE OF TECHNOLOGY: The final option, especially if we are in a situation where doing one of the above has the potential to startle me (i.e. if I am in a quiet, solitaty environment and you wish to approach me when I am not tuned in to the environment or expecting you – like if I’m listening to music and stimming), is to send me a message on my phone. This is more for people I am familiar with and who have my contact info, but I do have a card on my key ring to notify people when I am nonverbal or having a meltdown in public that has my phone number on it. For the most part, if I am listening to music or engrossed in something on my tablet/phone, I will be more aware of incoming messages than any other time, and this method is gentler than the previous two if I am zoned out, tuned in, or hyperfocused. The main point here is to be sensitive to the fact that I can be easily startled.
And there you have it. Even though I wrote this about my specific preferences, a lot of the information is transferrable. Feel free to use/adjust/add to this list for your own personal needs, if it is useful to you.
An important fourth option that’s often used in the Deaf community when the above won’t work because you’re too far or don’t have a person’s phone number to text them: Get the attention of someone near the person you need to talk to and then tell them to do one of the first two things (important, because their first idea will probably be to tap them on the shoulder) and then point to you.
if you are able bodied and have a car, do you only use it for distances you couldn’t physically walk? what if you can walk 20 miles in a day? no car if it’s within 20 miles, you gotta walk cuz after all, you CAN, right?
i have literally been told i don’t need my wheelchair by an abled person who owns a car in the center of a highly walkable metropolis with ample, 24 hour public transportation. i can walk around the house. sometimes a few blocks. weirdly, i want the ability to go more than a few blocks past my house.
i have read that most wheelchair users can stand or walk at least a little. i don’t know if this is true but it tallies with my anecdotal experience. what i do know is that i am nervous to stand from my chair in public. i try to do it when i need to because i hope it will help some people learn, but i always know some will judge me. and i always feel compelled to ham it up by moving slowly and stiffly with a face like I’m in pain even if I’m not, so they’ll understand im still disabled even if i can stand up for a minute.
people have a false concept of disability as an obvious and binary condition. “disabled” means a wheelchair user who can’t stand or walk at all, ever (never mind all the other types of disabilities). and then people judge and abuse us for making our ways through the world as best we can.
this is bullshit. this is hypocrisy. you understand that some people can walk further than others. you know this. your athletic cousin who ran a marathon last year can probably walk farther than you. you can walk farther than someone less fit than you. it’s so obvious and simple, but what is a gray scale for everyone else is suddenly cartoonishly black and white once a wheelchair is involved.
I feel like I want to make some people SHOOK today, so here is a free mini-lesson for everyone (P.S: If you’re American then please pay close attention):
-There isn’t a single country in the Middle-East that has the word “stan” in it. Not a single one.
-And yes, that includes Pakistan & Afghanistan.
Yes you heard me correctly, both of Pakistan & Afghanistan are not in the Middle-East, but instead they’re in South & Central Asia.
-Muslims don’t wear turbans, at all.
-Arabs/Middle-Eastern people also don’t wear turbans either, at all (In some Arabic countries there ARE types of traditional headwraps and they’re called “Emamah”, however they’re not called turbans and you can easily tell the difference between them if you bother learning).
-The only Religion/Culture whose people do wear turbans are called Sikhs, follower of Sikhism religion. And no, Sikhs are not from the Middle-East either, but are primely from India.
-There are over three muslim countries in Europe. And no, the muslims there aren’t immigrants but are in fact native white Europeans who are also Muslims (Yes white European muslims exist, since you know, Islam is a universal religion not an ethnicity or a race)
-There’s over 50 Muslim countries in this world and aside from Iran there isn’t a single muslim country in this globe that forces women to wear Hijab (Headscarf) By law. 49 out of 50 muslim countries don’t have laws forcing women to wear Hijab or face veils.
A Muslim woman wearing a Burqa is an extremely rare thing that can hardly be found in any Muslim countries, so if you see a Muslim woman covering her face with a type of cloth then that piece of cloth is most likely a Niqab NOT a Burqa (Seriously, don’t bother saying Burqa cuz 99.9% of the time, the thing you want to describe is probably not a Burqa)
-Only 23% of the world’s Muslims population are from Arab/Middle-Eastern countries. Yes, there are more non-Middle-Eastern/Arab Muslims than there are Middle-Eastern/Arab Muslims.
-Prophet Muhammad’s wife Aisha wasn’t 7 when she married him, but was actually 19 at the time of the wedding (And this have been debunked for centuries now, yet it’s still used by Islamophobics till this day).
-Almost everything I have said in this post have been true for centuries actually, so if you didn’t already know at least one of the things from this list then you really have no excuse to be this deep in the dark.
-Actually, many women do wear burqas depending on the country you’re in. I live in Dubai (in the UAE) and it is very common to see burqas. More often than not you see them wearing burqas instead of a hijab with traditional/modern clothing.
Everyone! You are looking at an EXTREMELY RARE blue Hawkheaded Parrot!
He is a part of the 300+ birds we seized from the doctors home! Bask in his glory!
If you guys were wondering how Merlin is doing, here’s some new pics with him and his new mommy ( who is the ONLY volunteer he didn’t try to kill on sight, and actually cuddled with her from day one.. I’m not sure what she did to do this because he wanted every other human D E A D )
there’s a lot of posts on here and other social media about fake service dogs, how to spot them and what not, and it pisses me off.
when you see a service dog, IGNORE THEM. don’t scrutinize, try to figure out if they’re “real” or anything of the like. turn your head away and act like it’s not there. because your staring is still RUDE no matter your goal.
and if, by some chance they do something outside of service dog etiquette that does NOT make them fake. you can’t know the tasks they are needed for by looking at them, so DON’T judge.
“but the handler is letting people pet it!!” maybe it’s an allergen detection dog and it doesn’t affect their job to let people pet them outside of meals. again, you can’t know by looking at them, so IGNORE IT. you don’t get to decide how other teams operate.
a lot of service dog etiquette is about making the dog invisible, and as unobtrusive as possible. that’s all well and good, but let me make this very clear: disabled people do not need to take up as little space as an able person to be allowed in public. service dog doesn’t have a perfect heel position?? handler still deserves to walk through stores. service dog doesn’t tuck properly?? handler still deserves to sit. just as oxygen tanks, crutches, or any other accommodation can take up space, so can a service dog.
and i’d like to bring up the legal definition of a service dog((in the us)): Under the ADA, a service animal is defined as a dog
that has been individually trained to do work or perform tasks for an
individual with a disability. The task(s) performed by the dog must be directly related to the person’s disability. The ADA requires the animal to be under the control of the handler. This can occur using a harness, leash, or other tether. However, in cases where either the handler is unable to hold a tether because of a disability or its use would interfere with the service animal’s safe, effective performance of work or tasks, the service animal must be under the handler’s control by some other means, such as voice control. The animal must be housebroken. The ADA does not require covered entities to provide for the care or supervision of a service animal, including cleaning up after the animal. The animal should be vaccinated in accordance with state and local laws.
that’s it. as long as a service dog hits all these, the handler has the legal right to be in public with it.
dogs that are not task trained, are out of control or otherwise outside of the definition are not allowed in public, but it’s the responsibility of the establishment to remove them, not yours. tell an employee if you’re concerned, but do not take the situation into your own hands. there’s a time and place for sd education, and the middle of walmart sure as hell isn’t it.
is it frustrating dealing with the general public and their lack of respect for your service dog?? absolutely. but don’t blame it on other teams. blaming disabled people for ableism helps no one.
above all else, ignore service dogs. please.
Just wanted to add that I don’t know how it is at other stores but at Walmart at least employees are trained (erroneously) that we can’t ask any questions whatsoever and even the managers will refuse to do anything, so just don’t bother because the handler may notice and be upset.
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